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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

UGH unless you are going to be paying my rent DONT tell me where I can live!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
so I am 26 and finally saved enough money to move out of my moms. (long story short every time I would start saving something would go wrong on my moms house and she wouldn't have the money to pay it so my savings would have to pay for repairs or new appliances on top of me paying her 400 a month in rent) anyway, I am very low income and I found an apartment that includes utilities and internet that is in my price range (by not paying utilities I can afford 100 more in rent) the down side being it is near a few halfway houses and isn't in the best neighborhood. rhe apartment complex is secure (gates you need either a code or magkey to get in, security doors etc) well I was.telling my mom that I really liked the apartment, that I could afford it, etc and that I was thinking about moving there when they have an opening. all she said was "you are not moving my grandson into THAT neighborhood." ok.... then.she starts listing all these apartments that are 700-800 a month for a one to two bedroom that are crazy expensive and then mentioned her friends that have apartments in a worse neighborhood than what I was looking at before. she is acting like she is happy I am finally going to be a grown up again and live on my own after getting back on my feet yet she wants me to do it on her terms. she wants to pick the neighborhood and the apartment for me. well im sorry that's not going to happen. it may suck right now but I will be able to move somewhere better eventually.
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 28, 2013 at 9:28 AM
Replies (21-30):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 28, 2013 at 10:11 AM
thank you. I am hoping that everything works out. im even planning on paying 6months rent up front so that I can build a cushion just in case.

Quoting Anonymous:

I find it interesting so many posters are saying she just wants what's best for the OP and her child, yet nothing in the post or OPs replies lends itself to that line of thinking. If she really wanted what was best for OP she wouldn't go shopping with the bill money OP gives her, then stick OP with the cancellation charge. Sounds more like the ops mother is more upset at the loss of the OPs extra money, then her objecting to where she's going to move for safety reasons. OP, do what you have to do, and good luck!

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 28, 2013 at 10:12 AM
1 mom liked this
thank you. I know things will het better once I finish school (working on my bachelors degree now)

Quoting teaandcookies:

Good for you for wanting to stand on your own two fett.  It is easier for you to stay with her beacuse she gets to se gs everyday and so on.  You need to move forward on getting your life where you want it.  I lived in a neighbor hood for a year so I could save on rent for our wedding.  Yes it was small, yes there were problem, but I paid my wedding in cash, and my son was only 20 months so its not like he noticed all that much.  A month after our wedding I moved into my beautiful town house, then to my current house.   It is awsome that you are putting limints on yourself, and saying NO I WILL NOT BE HOUSE POOR.  It take a very huge sence of responsibilty to admit what you can and can't afford.  But I would leave on good terms, incase you even needed her help in future.  Best of luck in finding and paving your path through life.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 28, 2013 at 10:13 AM
Tell your mom to suck it. You gotta do what you gotta do. Sounds like she wants you there for backup.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 28, 2013 at 10:16 AM
She mau know best but she doesn't pay her bills. You gotta live where you can afford. While it may not be the best choice, it may be the only choice.

Quoting Texascandee:

As a mother to a grown daughter and a grandmother to a 10 old young man, I wouldn't want my daughter moving into a bad neighborhood either.  I know young adults think they know it all and what's best but sometimes it would  behoove you to listen to your mother because they do want what's best for you and your child.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 28, 2013 at 10:17 AM
probably. that and like a previous poster said I know she likes having my ds around all the time. my brother keeps his kids away from her unless he needs a baby sitter so she feels like my ds is the only grandchild she gets to be grandma to

Quoting Anonymous:

Tell your mom to suck it. You gotta do what you gotta do. Sounds like she wants you there for backup.
teaandcookies
by Silver Member on Nov. 28, 2013 at 10:21 AM


Thats the thing with life you really can only go forward, there no going back.  Why not keep your mom involved?  Swap babysitting for you making dinner at her place, while you do laundry.  If you do this once a week then it will still make her feel like she is needed.  Also get online and get your name everywhere, for help and support.  Will this be your first time on your own?


Quoting Anonymous:

thank you. I know things will het better once I finish school (working on my bachelors degree now)

Quoting teaandcookies:

Good for you for wanting to stand on your own two fett.  It is easier for you to stay with her beacuse she gets to se gs everyday and so on.  You need to move forward on getting your life where you want it.  I lived in a neighbor hood for a year so I could save on rent for our wedding.  Yes it was small, yes there were problem, but I paid my wedding in cash, and my son was only 20 months so its not like he noticed all that much.  A month after our wedding I moved into my beautiful town house, then to my current house.   It is awsome that you are putting limints on yourself, and saying NO I WILL NOT BE HOUSE POOR.  It take a very huge sence of responsibilty to admit what you can and can't afford.  But I would leave on good terms, incase you even needed her help in future.  Best of luck in finding and paving your path through life.  



Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 28, 2013 at 10:21 AM
Then you need to be in a better financial place. As a single mom you will be a target. The gate is irrelevant, if someone wants in, they're getting in.
Halfway houses are a HUGE red flag, it's either criminals or drug addicts or both. Do you know if they house sex offenders? You would never really be safe. All it takes is for ONE of those halfway house guests to reoffend and a woman with a baby is an easy target. Keep your kid safe and stay with your mom.

Quoting Anonymous:

I don't want to live there, but I need to move out on my own.



Quoting Texascandee:

As a mother to a grown daughter and a grandmother to a 10 old young man, I wouldn't want my daughter moving into a bad neighborhood either.  I know young adults think they know it all and what's best but sometimes it would  behoove you to listen to your mother because they do want what's best for you and your child.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 28, 2013 at 10:23 AM
for the most part, my sons dad and I had a place when ds was a baby but I was a SAHM fresh out of high school. then he and I split up and I went back home. ive never been totally on my own

Quoting teaandcookies:


Thats the thing with life you really can only go forward, there no going back.  Why not keep your mom involved?  Swap babysitting for you making dinner at her place, while you do laundry.  If you do this once a week then it will still make her feel like she is needed.  Also get online and get your name everywhere, for help and support.  Will this be your first time on your own?



Quoting Anonymous:

thank you. I know things will het better once I finish school (working on my bachelors degree now)



Quoting teaandcookies:

Good for you for wanting to stand on your own two fett.  It is easier for you to stay with her beacuse she gets to se gs everyday and so on.  You need to move forward on getting your life where you want it.  I lived in a neighbor hood for a year so I could save on rent for our wedding.  Yes it was small, yes there were problem, but I paid my wedding in cash, and my son was only 20 months so its not like he noticed all that much.  A month after our wedding I moved into my beautiful town house, then to my current house.   It is awsome that you are putting limints on yourself, and saying NO I WILL NOT BE HOUSE POOR.  It take a very huge sence of responsibilty to admit what you can and can't afford.  But I would leave on good terms, incase you even needed her help in future.  Best of luck in finding and paving your path through life.  




Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 28, 2013 at 10:26 AM
the one she is worried about is the work release one. there is a school on the block so no sex offenders. I see your point, I really do. but honestly staying with her is NOT an option.

Quoting Anonymous:

Then you need to be in a better financial place. As a single mom you will be a target. The gate is irrelevant, if someone wants in, they're getting in.

Halfway houses are a HUGE red flag, it's either criminals or drug addicts or both. Do you know if they house sex offenders? You would never really be safe. All it takes is for ONE of those halfway house guests to reoffend and a woman with a baby is an easy target. Keep your kid safe and stay with your mom.



Quoting Anonymous:

I don't want to live there, but I need to move out on my own.





Quoting Texascandee:

As a mother to a grown daughter and a grandmother to a 10 old young man, I wouldn't want my daughter moving into a bad neighborhood either.  I know young adults think they know it all and what's best but sometimes it would  behoove you to listen to your mother because they do want what's best for you and your child.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 28, 2013 at 10:27 AM

When I was 24 years old with my 2 year old son, I moved into a similar situation. I was living win my mothers home except she was keeping me there on PURPOSE. Deliberately doing things that made it financially impossible for me to get out. I finally just planned everything without her knowing it (she would only start her shenannigans when she realized I was planning it again, and mess it all up) I wound up having to plan it so I could give her my rent for the konth and then  move that same day. "Heres my 30 day notice, btw, BYE" I moved into a "bad area" ridden mostly with thug community college students (before anybody bashes me about how I called community college students "thugs", im speaking specifically about THIS particular college...was full of little gangsta wanna be thugs) BUT it was a gated community, like yours, gate code or magkey, a security officer who made rounds through the complex a few different times between 10pm and 4am, etc, etc....we lived there until my son was 6 years old...I had a drug dealer home SWAT home invasion right next door, "ghetto birds" through my neighborhood regularly, my car got broke into TWICE....etc, etc...but it was what I could afford and what I had to do. My doors were always locked and my son never left my apartment without me. I agree with the OP. If other people want to pay your bills/rent, THEN they can talk about it, have a say in it. Until then, they need to stay out of your business. Sounds to me like you're a fairly level headed young lady and worked hard to get where you are. Keep up your good work.

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