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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Be honest... Would you really get divorced?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Every time you hear a story of a man cheating on a woman everyone tells the woman to leave him, but its not that easy. If you have kids involved and a house ect. Plus just because someone cheats on you does not mean you just stop loving them. If you stop and REALLY REALLY think about it would you leave your husband if he cheated on you?
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 28, 2013 at 8:54 PM
Replies (181-190):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 45 on Nov. 28, 2013 at 11:50 PM

Wow!  Really well said.

I just went through this with my husband several months ago - after 17 years of marriage.  Initially, I contacted a lawyer and immediately began separation proceedings.  But in the process, my husband and I saw a family therapist in order to figure out the best way to help our kids through a divorce.  Through speaking with the therapist, I realized what role I played in the cheating. 

Once we were able to address the root cause of the problem, we were able to make some changes and move forward.  Right now, we are happier and more secure in our marriage than we have ever been.

I know this sounds strange but in many ways I am thankful that my husband was caught in the affair.  It forced us to address our marriage in a very deep way.  If he had not been caught, I have no doubt we would have completely drifted apart with no hope of coming back together.

Quoting Anonymous:

Here's the thing (and this is coming from a cheater): the REASONS for the cheating need to cease. If you don't give a reason for a person to cheat, they likely will remain loyal. I cheated on my husband because he was cold, insensitive, politically incorrect, not romantic and VERY self centered. I was lured into an online relationship and I allowed myself to be lured into it because I needed attention. I needed the warmth that my spouse wasn't giving me.

I didn't try to even hide the cheating, so of course, my husband found out. I let him find out because I WANTED it to work. I WANTED him to ask me why. So when he asked me why I told him. He didn't correct the issue. So I cheated again. He'd always ask me why and I'd always tell him. FINALLY, after four times of me cheating, he began to see it. He wouldn't leave. I figured if he didn't want to change or didn't want to be with a cheater, he'd go. But he started to figure it out.

He started to act sweeter, actually DATE me and court me as opposed to just using me for his fuck toy. He started to show warmth and affection. Then I also saw a therapist and a psychiatrist. Got some help for ME.

He still tells horrible jokes and embarrasses me in front of friends by being politically incorrect and weird. But...at least he's sweet at least half the time. If he goes back to his old ways, I will leave as opposed to cheating.




Anonymous
by Anonymous 46 on Nov. 28, 2013 at 11:52 PM


This

Quoting sparkle.ana:

Yes, I would. I'd take our kids and leave. I wouldn't forgive, the again, etc. That'd be it and I'd be done and filing for divorce.



Childofares
by Silver Member on Nov. 28, 2013 at 11:57 PM

No questions, no conversation, his stuff would be sitting on the curb with the locks changed and a copy of divorce papers waiting for him to sign. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 47 on Nov. 28, 2013 at 11:57 PM

 


Quoting Anonymous:

Thanks ladies for your relplies. I'm pretty sure my husband isn't cheating as in having sex with someone but I know he is looking around and talking to some girl. It's completely breaking my heart and I never thought I would have to go through this with him. What a horrible thing to find out on Thanksgiving :(


 im sorrymy husband did the same thing one year ago...He broke my heart...it is still broken, though he told me he just liked the attention he was getting from her ....and how much he wanted to get to know her...

Please, be strong!

jdy9440
by on Nov. 28, 2013 at 11:59 PM

He would leave and I'd divorce, it's a deal breaker for me. 

amylovesnick07
by Gold Member on Nov. 29, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Yes I would because I'd never be able to trust him again. I'd always be wondering in the back of my mind if he's cheating again.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 47 on Nov. 29, 2013 at 12:18 AM

 I do not believe what you say  If you don't give a reason for a person to cheat, they likely will remain loyal. I cheated on my husband because he was cold, insensitive, politically incorrect, not romantic and VERY self centered.

maybe some people do it for those reasons

some do it because they are just searching for extra attention even though they have it great at home, with kids and wife!!!

some are just not into one person kind of love and loyalty!


Quoting Anonymous:

Here's the thing (and this is coming from a cheater): the REASONS for the cheating need to cease. If you don't give a reason for a person to cheat, they likely will remain loyal. I cheated on my husband because he was cold, insensitive, politically incorrect, not romantic and VERY self centered. I was lured into an online relationship and I allowed myself to be lured into it because I needed attention. I needed the warmth that my spouse wasn't giving me.

I didn't try to even hide the cheating, so of course, my husband found out. I let him find out because I WANTED it to work. I WANTED him to ask me why. So when he asked me why I told him. He didn't correct the issue. So I cheated again. He'd always ask me why and I'd always tell him. FINALLY, after four times of me cheating, he began to see it. He wouldn't leave. I figured if he didn't want to change or didn't want to be with a cheater, he'd go. But he started to figure it out.

He started to act sweeter, actually DATE me and court me as opposed to just using me for his fuck toy. He started to show warmth and affection. Then I also saw a therapist and a psychiatrist. Got some help for ME.

He still tells horrible jokes and embarrasses me in front of friends by being politically incorrect and weird. But...at least he's sweet at least half the time. If he goes back to his old ways, I will leave as opposed to cheating.

 


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 48 on Nov. 29, 2013 at 12:21 AM
3 moms liked this
You may think it's fun to lay down, play the martyr and doormat so that he can do it all over again when he decides to give himself the excuse.. The thing is I can't do that.

No man is worth sticking around, especially if he could possibly suprise me with HIV or herpes.

If you think a man is worth disloyalty, disrespect, and a huge health issues, that sounds like a personal problem to me.

I divorced the asshole that did it, and even though I have a little one now I'd do it again. I'm not going to teach my child that men are worth more than her safety and well being.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 47 on Nov. 29, 2013 at 12:33 AM

 

good....some marriages can be saved and even become much stronger after something like this, however in some cases, the cheater is just a cheater no mother how much loved he is. Some just do it out of curiosity and bad behavior, others out of not wanting to let go their single days away....lol

Quoting Anonymous:

Wow!  Really well said.

I just went through this with my husband several months ago - after 17 years of marriage.  Initially, I contacted a lawyer and immediately began separation proceedings.  But in the process, my husband and I saw a family therapist in order to figure out the best way to help our kids through a divorce.  Through speaking with the therapist, I realized what role I played in the cheating. 

Once we were able to address the root cause of the problem, we were able to make some changes and move forward.  Right now, we are happier and more secure in our marriage than we have ever been.

I know this sounds strange but in many ways I am thankful that my husband was caught in the affair.  It forced us to address our marriage in a very deep way.  If he had not been caught, I have no doubt we would have completely drifted apart with no hope of coming back together.

Quoting Anonymous:

Here's the thing (and this is coming from a cheater): the REASONS for the cheating need to cease. If you don't give a reason for a person to cheat, they likely will remain loyal. I cheated on my husband because he was cold, insensitive, politically incorrect, not romantic and VERY self centered. I was lured into an online relationship and I allowed myself to be lured into it because I needed attention. I needed the warmth that my spouse wasn't giving me.

I didn't try to even hide the cheating, so of course, my husband found out. I let him find out because I WANTED it to work. I WANTED him to ask me why. So when he asked me why I told him. He didn't correct the issue. So I cheated again. He'd always ask me why and I'd always tell him. FINALLY, after four times of me cheating, he began to see it. He wouldn't leave. I figured if he didn't want to change or didn't want to be with a cheater, he'd go. But he started to figure it out.

He started to act sweeter, actually DATE me and court me as opposed to just using me for his fuck toy. He started to show warmth and affection. Then I also saw a therapist and a psychiatrist. Got some help for ME.

He still tells horrible jokes and embarrasses me in front of friends by being politically incorrect and weird. But...at least he's sweet at least half the time. If he goes back to his old ways, I will leave as opposed to cheating.

 

 

 


 

Mommie_2_Boys
by Steph on Nov. 29, 2013 at 12:41 AM
Probably not
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