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holiday tension with family members that you don't speak to

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 9 Replies
When I left my abusive relationship, I stayed at my mother's place until the house was sold. I paid the mortgage, car payment (he did not provide, long story). The entire time there, I paid her for caring for my youngest and taking/picking up my other son at school, these are her grandchildren, she did not work. I paid for groceries and worked. We stayed out if she had company, she didn't want anyone to know I left my house. It was very clear this was temporary, eventually I found out she made fun of me and the kids to family members who kept it to themselves to avoid hurting my feelings. By the time I left her animosity towards us was too much, there has been nothing to say to each other since. She is now visiting from abroad and staying at my brothers house. they also had difficulties with how she treated his family but he would rather ignore her behavior and still have her in his life. He hosted thanksgiving, she was at another family members home. I've chosen to keep my distance because I think how she behaved was disgusting, has never apologized. Some people don't have to be in our lives but its still a touchy topic. Any one else have a bit of tension in the air during the holidays with their family members?
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 29, 2013 at 5:03 AM
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Replies (1-9):
bellawomen
by Summer on Nov. 29, 2013 at 5:08 AM

Yup.  When I cut ties, I cut ALL ties.  There is no iffy.  If there is someone at an holiday event that I have cut ties with, I will not be present.  I will make my apologies to the host, but I will stay firm.

sparkle.ana
by on Nov. 29, 2013 at 5:12 AM
One of my husband's sisters does not like me and takes great offense to my fertility. When we announced our pregnancy with our now three month old, she made some very nasty comments. She hasn't spoken to me since. We will not be attending any holiday affairs where she is present. I'm sure by now (we announced my current pregnancy yesterday) she knows I am pregnant again, so I'm waiting for her newest comments.
MaiVal
by Silver Member on Nov. 29, 2013 at 5:15 AM

My father never set foot in the hospital when i had cancer 3 FUCKING TIMES. In High school. 14, 15 , 17. I have 3 grand kids of his and one on the way. Does he visit ever? NO. He asks my sisters to ask me to call him. He can call or contact me if he wanted to. I debate seeing him or not. He never bothered to see his TEENAGE DAUGHTER GOING THROUGH CANER ALL 3 SEPARATE TIMES.

(I was told I could never have kids and am on #4, our last, but he's never met my youngest, 13 months now). When he did meet me and my older children I saw him for 20 minutes at most. 

MaiVal
by Silver Member on Nov. 29, 2013 at 5:16 AM

I should make my own post about deadbeat dads...

Quoting MaiVal:

My father never set foot in the hospital when i had cancer 3 FUCKING TIMES. In High school. 14, 15 , 17. I have 3 grand kids of his and one on the way. Does he visit ever? NO. He asks my sisters to ask me to call him. He can call or contact me if he wanted to. I debate seeing him or not. He never bothered to see his TEENAGE DAUGHTER GOING THROUGH CANER ALL 3 SEPARATE TIMES.

(I was told I could never have kids and am on #4, our last, but he's never met my youngest, 13 months now). When he did meet me and my older children I saw him for 20 minutes at most. 


 BabyFetus Ticker

okeydokie
by Bronze Member on Nov. 29, 2013 at 5:24 AM
Hubby's mom and aunt said some horrible things a few years back. Like saying they wished me and my kids would all die. I avoided them like the plague for a couple years. But Saturday they are supposed to come to our house to celebrate thanksgiving 2.0. I'm not happy about it. I will be polite, but I will do my best to keep busy, or be in deep conversation with other guests. DH swears she was so drunk she didn't even remember the conversation. I can't get over it. I don't care how drunk she was, you just don't say certain things. Especially about innocent little babies.
Teeshann
by Platinum Member on Nov. 29, 2013 at 5:44 AM

my husband doesn't talk to my family or his brother's wife. causes a bit of tension. long stories.

i end up going to visit my family after the holidays with just me and the kids. it's also more fun at the inlaws. there are a ton of kids and on my side i have the only kids that go visit. so go to my families and play by themselves while adults watch tv or play video games (drives me insane that we go to visit and my dad sits on the computer or in front of the tv). or go to the inlaws where there are 20 kids to play with.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 29, 2013 at 5:50 AM
I guess it makes it easier since I live over 2k miles from my mother. My sister and grandmother had Thanksgiving with my mom. I had a nice dinner with my SO and his family. I won't ever be in the same room as my mom so there won't be any holiday tension.
me_plus3
by Silver Member on Nov. 29, 2013 at 12:45 PM
It all depends on where we go. If we go to my sister's, like we will be doing Saturday, yes. Mainly because my SO and her SO hate each other. My mom's is a little tense but we're all nice to each other because she'd beat us all if we weren't. I've never met his family, probably never will.
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BDolphins82
by on Nov. 29, 2013 at 12:52 PM

I just don't go anywhere that my Dad's Mom and Dad are and it solves that issues. And I don't like my one brother but I just ignore him when he is over.

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