When I left my abusive relationship, I stayed at my mother's place until the house was sold. I paid the mortgage, car payment (he did not provide, long story).
The entire time there, I paid her for caring for my youngest and taking/picking up my other son at school, these are her grandchildren, she did not work. I paid for groceries and worked. We stayed out if she had company, she didn't want anyone to know I left my house.
It was very clear this was temporary, eventually I found out she made fun of me and the kids to family members who kept it to themselves to avoid hurting my feelings. By the time I left her animosity towards us was too much, there has been nothing to say to each other since.
She is now visiting from abroad and staying at my brothers house. they also had difficulties with how she treated his family but he would rather ignore her behavior and still have her in his life. He hosted thanksgiving, she was at another family members home. I've chosen to keep my distance because I think how she behaved was disgusting, has never apologized. Some people don't have to be in our lives but its still a touchy topic.
Any one else have a bit of tension in the air during the holidays with their family members?