we flat out did not get invited anywhere for T-day this year. ETA some f.a.q.s and clarification.
My dad never filled me in on when their t-day was going to be when I asked him, by the time I found out by asking my other family (since he wasnt going to tell me) it was too late to make plans to get there (6 hours away and they did it the first weekend of NOV this year)
MIL went to her new boyfriend's family, a week ago she asked what our plans were and when we said we didnt make any and we just assumed she was hosting it like every other year she was just like "oh, just wondering" and then called us the day before to say where she was going and "Sorry I'm not doing anythign, maybe another day..." NO, I can't I have to WORK every other day but thanks for letting us know ahead of time. BIL went to his gf's family.
My mom had a big get together at her new house, but I'm not welcome there because of her husband (and frankly I wouldnt have gone even if I were) All the other family I have around here went to that of course. No one even mentioned it at all, except G.ma when we were talking about the house coming along "oh they want to have it ready to do a big family thanksgiving in"
It was a kind of depressing holiday. I wasnt cooking an entire feast for DH, Me, and two preschoolers. So we just kind of hung out like any other day.
ETA to clear a few things up- I totally admit to my fault in the not knowing when my Dad's Thanksgiving was... My dad is such a recluse I should have known to just ask my aunt first... They have nothing wrong with me and we were all disappointed when we realized I wasnt going to be able to go. We will be going down sometime between now and mid january, maybe even Christmas if the weather looks alright.
MIL- she is in LOOOOOOOOVEEEE (lol. too cute) and I guess it was a last minute invite for her to go meet his family. Whatever... just kind of sucks because last month we were talking with her about thanksgiving and while we never got an invitation we all just assumed we were going there. Im happy she went to his family's house. I guess her and the mother took some baskets to shut-ins... +100 for humanity right there.
My mom- Her husband is a sick pervert who molested his daughters from toddlerhood to puberty. Including me. Like I said, I wouldnt have gone over there even if I were invited... but after the investigation it was made clear I was NOT included in "THEIR" family any longer. At least before the investigation they tried to include me, and some of my aunts/uncles (because I still thought of them as family) still had a relationship with me. They pretend my sisters arent included "because they live so far away" but we all know it would be the same with them even if they lived next door. So that wasnt so much about not being invited, as much as it was a reminder that my mom has always and will always choose him over me, and so will the rest of my "family"
As far as what we did... we did have a nice dinner, but no where near what Thanksgiving "expects"... We played board games and shopped online for my sisters' kids. We did have a good time... I guess I had been using MIL as a crutch to get me through the holidays without my family, and this year was good for me to learn to do it myself and start my own thing.
Yes, it was a pity party, but damn ladies... I really didnt think I was THAT wrong in feeling a little bummed out.