Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

mothers, are you raising your children to be able to handle adulthood?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 257 Replies
will they be able to handle the stress of being grown? Having to get jobs, manage money, pay bills? I have been working since I was 15. I'm 26 now. I paid for my own car insurance, any repairs to the car, ect. My mother did not require these things of my brother. He never had to get a job, pay anything, ect. He didn't play sports OE even get good grades. He graduated high school 3 months after turning 18. Now he will be 19 in February and is struggling with adulthood. She didn't kick him out after he got out of high school but suddenly he was expected to get his own car, pay them a small amount in rent, pay his cell phone bill, insurance for the car, co-pays for doctor visits and the meds he takes everyday.
He is really stressed and overwhelmed. He's works as a bag boy for a grocery store right now because that's all he could get with no working experience. I feel so bad for him because he wasn't ready for all this. she didn't push him like she did me. When he turned 16, I kept telling her that he needed to get a job, get a feel for the real world but she didn't make him and now he's feelings unprepared and overwhelmed. It hurts me to see him struggling and it got me thinking, are you preparing your teen? How will prepare your children to be real for real life.

PS, I'm not jealous of him, BTW. I adore him and it hurts to see him so stressed.
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 29, 2013 at 12:42 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
TheDoctorsWife
by on Nov. 29, 2013 at 12:43 PM
1 mom liked this
Hope I do!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 29, 2013 at 12:45 PM
21 moms liked this
Yes I am. But does that mean they'll be able to handle it? Who knows? We can prepare our children for anything but ultimately it's up to them who they handle each situation.
Sister_Someone
by Rachel on Nov. 29, 2013 at 12:45 PM
1 mom liked this

Yes, I'm fairly certain he will be fine with adulthood.

almburr
by Platinum Member on Nov. 29, 2013 at 12:45 PM
1 mom liked this
Yes I am. My children ages 19-8 know how to to do household duties. Manage money know needs over wants.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 29, 2013 at 12:46 PM
My DD is only 1, but I'm like your brother. The only real difference is that I literally was not ALLOWED to get a job until I had moved out. I had a job for two months around Christmas my senior year and I had to beg to get that. When I was laid off (seasonal) my grandparents just said stuff like "There's no need for you to get a job now, you're still a kid," etc.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 29, 2013 at 12:47 PM
Oh I get that but there are things we can do to give them tools, such as making them get after school jobs, maybe paying for their own car insurance, ect. Things they teach them how fast money goes

Quoting Anonymous:

Yes I am. But does that mean they'll be able to handle it? Who knows? We can prepare our children for anything but ultimately it's up to them who they handle each situation.
tyfry7496
by Gold Member on Nov. 29, 2013 at 12:48 PM
Exactly

Quoting Anonymous:

Yes I am. But does that mean they'll be able to handle it? Who knows? We can prepare our children for anything but ultimately it's up to them who they handle each situation.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 29, 2013 at 12:48 PM
That's what my mom said about my brother but a week after he graduated from high school, she sat him down and said, all these are now your responsibility. I won't even pay for you to get a hair cut. And he was stunned

Quoting Anonymous:

My DD is only 1, but I'm like your brother. The only real difference is that I literally was not ALLOWED to get a job until I had moved out. I had a job for two months around Christmas my senior year and I had to beg to get that. When I was laid off (seasonal) my grandparents just said stuff like "There's no need for you to get a job now, you're still a kid," etc.
Isaacsmom913
by Platinum Member on Nov. 29, 2013 at 12:51 PM
1 mom liked this

Lord, I hope so.  My son is only 2, but I'm raising him to have responsibility for his actions even now.  Today, we just went to the bank and we emptied his piggy bank so as to deposit $$ into his account--which he will have access to on his 21st birthday.  I think it's irresponsible to not love your children while pushing them towards the door.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Nov. 29, 2013 at 12:51 PM
3 moms liked this

Seems boys/men handle adult hood a lot different then women. My brother is 33 and struggles, yet has had every opportunity to improve him self. Out of 3 of my brothers only one is doing well, and yet my sister and I are fine and established. We were all raised the same. I got a job at 14, moved out at 16, I'm 26 and have my own house.... Yet my brothers are house to house not able to afford rent, even with a significant other. My brother recently stayed with me because he got kicked out if the place he was staying at, and for a month, he never got ahead here. I never asked for a dime and he naked 609 every two weeks. His only bills are car insurance and cell phone yet manages to be broke within a week. I do not feel sorry for him, nor any of my brothers who chose to be in that position. If you can not advance yourself with guidance and assistance, then live your life shitty. I'd figure being raised by our single mom would taught them more what a vaule of a dollar was but gl early they missed that part. 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)