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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Would you be offended? Or, is this typical?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 115 Replies

My mom died when I was a kid, it was just me and my dad.  When I was 17 my dad married this amazing woman who had a small child.  I am very close to my step mother and step brother.  My dad and my step mom had 4 other kids.  I'm now 32 and she has been in my life for the last 15 years.  They are like real family no step or half involved. 

The issue is the holidays.  She comes from a big family so we always have spent the holidays with her family.  I've never been included in a gift, nor has my son.  

Examples:  Her parents get the grand kids a family pass to the aquarium every year.  I've never been included nor has my son.  I have to watch them open the gift.  Last year, she gave every member of the family $200 which must be spent to make a new family memory.  I had to watch everyone open gifts and sit there quietly.  

Its been like this since I was 17.  I don't know what to do to make it feel better.  Every year the step grandmother has me do family photos (I'm a photographer).  I spend hours upon hours editing, printing, shooting, etc.  Never have been asked to be in one.  We go there every thanksgiving and christmas plus many more times during the year so its not like I'm a stranger there.  I try really hard.  Last year with the family photos, I also included one of my son but its no where to be found in their home.  Even during christmas and thanksgiving speeches she talks about her 10 grandkids.  I want to scream YOU HAVE 11 YOU JERK and a great grand child!!

I've said something to my dad and step mom about this several times, they always just say she is old and doesn't want to change her ways.  But I feel excluded every time and it honestly hurts my feelings..  

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 30, 2013 at 4:30 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 30, 2013 at 4:32 PM
1 mom liked this
I would be offended and refuse to take the pics unless I was in them.
Jaxsonsmama2009
by Gold Member on Nov. 30, 2013 at 4:33 PM
10 moms liked this
I would stop going honestly. And I would be very angry at my dad and stepmom. How would she feel if you had treated her this way? You didn't HAVE to accept her and grow to love her. You could have treated her just as horribly as they treat you. I'm sure that would have devastated her. They need to stand up for you.
zeenah
by Zarah on Nov. 30, 2013 at 4:33 PM
1 mom liked this

Yeah I don't think I could put up with that. Old ways or not.

"We find delight in the beauty and happiness of children that makes the heart too big for the body"

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 30, 2013 at 4:34 PM
1 mom liked this

thats awful. my son was instantly welcomed with open arms as was I to dh's family. I'm sorry your dad does not back you up on this. If she's already done this for years i diubt she'll change. you are the bigger person imo by still participating in family functions and pictures despite how they treat you.

JZB
by Gold Member on Nov. 30, 2013 at 4:35 PM
Have you spoken to your father and or stepmom
Christywf
by Gold Member on Nov. 30, 2013 at 4:35 PM

Oh hell no.  I don't care if she's "old".  She's RUDE.  Period.

I would have an assertive and calm talk with HER about how you feel.  That is terrible she is doing this to you and your son.  SOrry you are going through this!


mojogirl
by Gunnery Sgt Hartman on Nov. 30, 2013 at 4:35 PM
1 mom liked this
Wow, I have nothing kind to say. I would never go to that woman's house again! I'm so sorry, op!
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 30, 2013 at 4:35 PM

It makes me so mad!  I am so good to this woman, for instance today I'm driving all the way to her house to drop a book she wanted to borrow.  

A few months ago we were at a family dinner and there was someone there, she introduced me like this "This is so and so my step grand child.  Emphases on the step".  It was horrifying.  

Quoting Jaxsonsmama2009:

I would stop going honestly. And I would be very angry at my dad and stepmom. How would she feel if you had treated her this way? You didn't HAVE to accept her and grow to love her. You could have treated her just as horribly as they treat you. I'm sure that would have devastated her. They need to stand up for you.


hemanclub
by on Nov. 30, 2013 at 4:36 PM
1 mom liked this

I would be hurt too.  Dad and stepmom should be opening there mouth to grandma.  At the very least, they should not be taking the pic in your presence or asking you to take it.  As far as the photos in her house, that's grandma prerogative and wouldn't bother me as long as dad and stepmom have pics.  

thenameshailie
by Ruby Member on Nov. 30, 2013 at 4:36 PM
2 moms liked this
I would be offended. I would have stopped going ten years ago.
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