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MIL, this is our christmas tradition, not yours!

Posted by on Dec. 5, 2013 at 8:56 AM
  • 397 Replies

I know getting married, and having children, means giving up some traditions of your own family, or maybe meshing them with his family's traditions, and I'm fine with that. I gave up all my Christmas traditions-after we tried a few the first year my daughter was born, it didn't work, so we only do my husband's now. (Not really my choice, it was too much arguing and stress, so it wasn't worth it).

My husband and I used to spend Christmas eve with just ourselves, since we spend the entire Christmas Day with his family. We used to go to my family overnight to do Christmas Eve (getting up in the middle of the night to open gifts) then get some sleep and spend the day with my husband's family. But having small children, we stopped that tradition with my family, and now see my family a few days after Christmas. But my mother in law insists on spending Christmas eve with us now too, even though we spend the whole next day with her. I refuse, because I feel we need to have some family time alone, especially on Christmas, we deserve to make those memories and have that quality time.

My daughters are 6 and 3-1/2, and since their first Christmas, I have started a few of our own traditions, one of which is I have always bought them Christmas pajamas (matching, of course!) and given them as a Christmas eve gift, complete with a new Christmas movie, popcorn, and hot chocolate.  (Obviously, I didn't do the popcorn/hot chocolate/movie the first few years, but I have always given them pj's). A few years ago, my mother in law bought them Christmas pajamas and gave them to them a few weeks before Christmas. I reminded her I already bought them their pajamas, and that was our tradition. She blew me off.  I asked my husband, that she not do that, since it was our tradition, and he didn't see the big deal, which really hurt. I told him I gave up all my beloved family traditions, and only wanted to make my own, and she should respect that, and wished he would too. The next year, at the end of Thanksgiving dinner, my mother in las was whispering to a younger family member, and he disappeared. As we were cleaning up she SCREAMED, "OH MY GOD!! SANTA JUST CAME!! GIRLS LOOK THERE'S PRESENTS OUTSIDE ON THE LAWN!!!" She had the family member put gifts outside on the lawn. Yup, you guessed it, Christmas pajamas. Again, I asked her not to get them for her, she just laughed and said, "Oh yeah, I forgot, Senior Moment!" And then smiled and asked them if they liked their gift. After this, I talked to my husband in detail and he finally understood where I was coming from, but he's still a momma's boy. So I know I can't change that, but I expect a little support in my feelings and opinions, beliefs.

This year, WEEKS ahead of time, I reminded my husband about NOT having his mom get Christmas pajamas for the girls and he said, I know. And I again, reminded him, when I was wrapping them the other day. We went for our (ugh) weekly visit, and she pulls out gifts for the girls. And guess what it was!?!?!  YUP!! CHRISTMAS PAJAMAS!!! If this wasn't bad enough, she then proceeds to tell my daughters that "If you don't wear THESE pajamas, then Santa WILL NOT come to your house and WILL NOT give you any gifts!" I was livid!!  How do I fix that?!?!  Tell them their grandmother is a big, fat, stinkin liar?! I mean, it is the truth!

I feel like she's 100% doing this out of spite, and she's infringing on my fun and memories as a mother. It's not just about pajamas, it's about her blatantly disrespecting me.  She had her time and opportunities with her own children, and I understand she wants to be involved, but forcing herself isn't fair to me, my husband, and my children. I just feel really disrespected, honestly.  I'm in shock she would sink to pulling the "Santa won't come if you don't wear my pajamas" so I can try to win shit. I'm trying to be a good person, and role model to my daughters, so I don't rip her head off like I really want to, but this is getting out of hand. This has been the 5th year she's pulled this

** For the record, I DO wash the PJ's before I wrap them!**

by on Dec. 5, 2013 at 8:56 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Dec. 5, 2013 at 8:59 AM
24 moms liked this
That's bullshit. She wouldn't be in my family's life after that long of being blatantly disrespectful.
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by Ruby Member on Dec. 5, 2013 at 9:01 AM
14 moms liked this
I'd tell her if she can't respect my wishes, they will not see her till Christmas Day.
I'd honestly get pissy with the woman!
by Anonymous 1 on Dec. 5, 2013 at 9:02 AM
9 moms liked this

If this is the 5th year she has done it, you only did it for one it sounds like her tradition???

by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 5, 2013 at 9:03 AM
4 moms liked this
Wow! All over Christmas pjs.
by Emerald Member on Dec. 5, 2013 at 9:04 AM
33 moms liked this
I put my pjs on the kids and the next morning when Santa brings all the presents say "oops I guess grandma was wrong"
by on Dec. 5, 2013 at 9:05 AM
25 moms liked this

She is taking full advantage of the fact that you are willing to give up everything to have things her way. Might be time for a new Christmas Day tradition that doesn't include Pajama Gramma.

by LMAO on Dec. 5, 2013 at 9:06 AM
1 mom liked this

She sounds lovely, sorry mama. 

by on Dec. 5, 2013 at 9:07 AM
4 moms liked this
Sounds like you and your dh truly need to get on the same page. Yall need to sit down with Mil and explain again with a united front. If she continues then maybe it's time for a time out.
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by Emerald Member on Dec. 5, 2013 at 9:08 AM
12 moms liked this
Yeah, she's definitely doing it to spite you and will throw a toddler like temper tantrum when you finally lose it on her. Meddling, nosy, trouble making MIL.

Now be prepared to be told to suck eeeeverything up because it's just pajamas by the people who can't see what's actually going on here.
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by on Dec. 5, 2013 at 9:09 AM
31 moms liked this
I would misplace the pjs agter the first night. Like straifht to the goodwill.
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