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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

bathroom use - a right or a privliege?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

So; my DD's been frequenting a site called "Dear Blank Please Blank" which is basically a silly site where people write short notes asking something of someone - hence the title. Apparently a lot of posts lately have been detailing teachers not letting high school students go to the toilet, change their pad, etc - and when DD commented saying that because using the bathroom is not a choice, it is a natural biological urge that should not be supressed - she got inundated with comments saying that in their school it is a privilege and one girl claimed to even not be allowed to use the toilet at lunch because they "had" to remain in the cafeteria because other classes were still in session.

Maybe it's because we're not american - but I really don't see HOW it's a privliege. Teachers here are able to say "not right now" if they've JUST come in from lunch/play or are about to go OUT to lunch/home - but besides that they generally HAVE to say yes. My youngest was actually given punishments for going too many times - even when I gave him a doctors letter defining her small bladder, tendancy to develop UTI's and have accidents - and tried to ban her from the toilet - Yeah - that didn't happen. There's one girl in my youngest's class who has to have a teacher aide escort her to the bathroom because she mucks up a lot - but they are still not allowed to outright ban toilet visits. My eldest was hiding in the toilet when she was in trouble and I said "Well don't let her go" and they said they weren't allowed to 'ban' her; they weren't allowed to escort her actually IN to the bathroom to make sure she came out - so they had to make her take a 'buddy' (this was in 5th grade) like a baby so that she couldn't run away.

So - Privliege or right? Does your opinion change on grade/medical condition or behaviour? What about things like changing a pad (which definetely take more time than the passing time between classes)- is that a privliege or a right to excuse yourself during class to change your sanitary wear?

Wow - I'm featured on the home page! Thanks ladies!

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 5, 2013 at 10:13 AM
Replies (21-30):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Dec. 5, 2013 at 10:32 AM


Quoting lenashark:


Quoting liveforever:


Quoting lenashark:

I see it as more a responsibility of the student. Unless the child has a medical problem, there is no reason why a high school student can't wait one class period to use the bathroom. Its a distraction to the class when kids are getting up and down and it often happens just because they are bored.

Sometimes there isnt time to go between classes though. My high school gave us 4 minutes, and the school was huge. If you had classes on opposite ends of the school it would take the entire time just to get there.

Then you plan on going when you have a shorter distance between class, or even going right when you get to school, again at lunch, and then when you get home should suffice. 

That works - except for the whole period thing - I don't know about you but I could NOT spend the entire day only changing my pad once at school. I needed at least 3 changes to get me through the day - and this was BEFORE I got home.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Dec. 5, 2013 at 10:36 AM

That happened to my daughter's friend in primary school. She was in 3rd grade and the teacher refused to let her go and then FORCED her to wrap a tea towel around herself to ride home - refused to allow her to even go to the office. The girl got home and told her mom who rung the school in a fury. At my children's school up until 3rd grade the classes are all toileted together at fruit break; first lunch, and second lunch and before any extra's such as music, sports, art, assembly, library, etc. It minimizes individual trips and by 4th grade they are just TOLD to go at those times and not supervised/monitored the way the younger kids are.

Quoting Anonymous:

My daughters in first grade and can use the bathroom as needed, but they encourage certain times so classes don't get interrupted.  I think that's a good way to do it.  If you have to use the bathroom then I think you should be able to as long as you don't abuse it.  If you do then you should have to go with an aide or something to make sure you go and don't play around.  When I was in second grade I think the teacher wouldn't let me go and I peed myself.  I asked 3 times at least and I said it was an emergency but we were testing and I was told to wait.  I was so embarrassed and idt that should happen to anybody ever.  


Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Dec. 5, 2013 at 10:36 AM
2 moms liked this
Why would you want to prevent someone from going to the bathroom, really? Talk about control issues.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Dec. 5, 2013 at 10:36 AM
1 mom liked this

I don't think I have never known anyone who goes to the bathroom only 3 times in 8 hours. A teacher keeping a student from the bathroom is about one thing, a power trip. It's not so horrifically distracting to other students that one or two gets up to go pee. Teachers tend to walk around classrooms while teaching or while students are testing. That is about 10 times more distracting that a student walking out of or into the room will ever be.

Quoting lenashark:

 

Quoting liveforever:


Quoting lenashark:

I see it as more a responsibility of the student. Unless the child has a medical problem, there is no reason why a high school student can't wait one class period to use the bathroom. Its a distraction to the class when kids are getting up and down and it often happens just because they are bored.

Sometimes there isnt time to go between classes though. My high school gave us 4 minutes, and the school was huge. If you had classes on opposite ends of the school it would take the entire time just to get there.

Then you plan on going when you have a shorter distance between class, or even going right when you get to school, again at lunch, and then when you get home should suffice. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Dec. 5, 2013 at 10:38 AM

Admittedly - I do at home if I KNOW they are just playing around/trying to get out of timeout/bed - but even then i'll come back in a few minutes and if they're not asleep yet but calm or if they've sat nicely, I let them go .

Quoting Anonymous: Why would you want to prevent someone from going to the bathroom, really? Talk about control issues.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Dec. 5, 2013 at 10:38 AM
2 moms liked this

I tell my kids if they have to go really bad and the teacher says no, to go anyway and we will deal with the 'trouble' afterwards.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 9 on Dec. 5, 2013 at 10:39 AM
Come to Canada, they let you piss as much as you want because,yes my dear even your bladder has rights here!!
Piss away!
YzmaRocks
by Ruby Member on Dec. 5, 2013 at 10:39 AM
I'll bet you learned a lot that day, yes?

Quoting LOVEZOEY:

Although I understand WHY they do it, I think it should be a right.I remember one time in school I almost shit my pants because the teacher wouldn't let me go.

Andreaaa81
by on Dec. 5, 2013 at 10:39 AM

I am a kindergarten teacher. There is a fine art to knowing who needs to go and who does not need to go. It takes years of practice. When one kid asks to go to the bathroom, they ALL need to go. Sometimes it is legit and other times they are just playing around. I tend to monitor bathroom usage. If I can see a kid needs to go then I let them. If they are habitual players in the bathroom, they can go when the whole class has a bathroomm break. 
Of course this is not really what you were asking but as a teacher you have to be able to tell who really needs to and who is wasting time. It can be tricky business at times....Rule of thumb - if you are not sure if the child needs to go or not - let them go anyway. Better to have them play with the water for a few minutes than pee their pants... 

Lilfootmommy
by on Dec. 5, 2013 at 10:40 AM
1 mom liked this
Its a right, its part of human nature. Just because of few students mess up doesnt mean they should make it a privilage for everyone. Its not healthy to hold crap in lol, or piss for that matter.
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