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I told my DH that I am not ok with him giving his ex extra money and now he isn't talking to me

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 670 Replies
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My DH has 2 kids with his ex. He has them every other weekend so he pays CS. The CS amounts to about 30% of his income after taxes. I take no issue with him paying this, I have 3 kids with my ex and get CS for them. However, despite the fact that he pays $850 a month and only keeps about $2000 of his pay, his ex has been asking for more money. 2 months ago, her car needed repair and she asked him for $400, last month, she was behind on the electric bill and it was about to be shut off so she needed over $300. Now, SDD needs new glasses and she doesn't have the money even though since DH provides the kid's insurance, she is ordered to pay all co payments, it will be $150 for the glasses. We have had several arguments about this. He says that if he wants to help his kids out, he should be allowed to. I say that since he is using OUR money, he needs to clear it with me. Now I told him to pay for the glasses because I don't want SDD going without them but from now on, he needs to tell his ex that she gets CS, if she can't provide for them with the CS and her income, custody may need to be changed.

I told him that if he gives her any more money, I will take half of the money out of the account, start my own and no longer put  my child support checks in our joint account.  I don't work but based on my ex's income I get $4000 a month in CS plus I own the house we live in free and clear. He can pay his share of the bills and I'll pay mine. It sounds drastic but I am so sick of not having money when we need it because he has given it to his ex. We have his 2, my 3 and the 2 we have together and it just doesn't seem right that so much money is going to his 2.

Now he isn't talking to me, hasn't texted or called all day, he is at work but I just don't know what else to do. I have tried talking to him but anytime I disagree with him giving extra he says "my kids, my choice".

If it matters, the money is broken down this way:  I get $4000 in CS plus I own the house we live in free and clear, no mortgage payments, he makes about $2900 and pays $850 in CS. So our monthly income is $6050


Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 5, 2013 at 4:05 PM
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Replies (1-10):
JackieGirl007
by Ruby Member on Dec. 5, 2013 at 4:09 PM
93 moms liked this

I am finding it really hard to feel sorry for you, Mrs. Moneybags.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 5, 2013 at 4:12 PM
1 mom liked this
What does your ex do for a living? My SO pays $3600 a month for one child. Does his ex have a job?
hello_kitty25
by Platinum Member on Dec. 5, 2013 at 4:12 PM
2 moms liked this
My Dh and I do not share banks accounts and split bills so we don't have to fight about this crap. But if I were you I would have done that a long time ago. Its his prob if he wants to give her extra. $850 a month is a ton.
hello_kitty25
by Platinum Member on Dec. 5, 2013 at 4:13 PM
1 mom liked this
$3600 for one kid?!?!?!

Quoting Anonymous: What does your ex do for a living? My SO pays $3600 a month for one child. Does his ex have a job?
Ashley1113
by Ley on Dec. 5, 2013 at 4:14 PM
9 moms liked this
Greedy. It is his job to support those children as well.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 5, 2013 at 4:14 PM
4 moms liked this

I feel sorry for you if you think $6000 for a family with 5 kids living with us full time and 2 part time makes me miss moneybags.

Maybe it depends on the area but around here, it gets us by


Quoting JackieGirl007:

I am finding it really hard to feel sorry for you, Mrs. Moneybags.


MrsDavidB25
by Stacey on Dec. 5, 2013 at 4:14 PM
2 moms liked this

 There is no question he should have paid for his dds glasses. The rest is debateable. And please do tell what your exh does for a living.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 5, 2013 at 4:14 PM
1 mom liked this
He's a chiropractor and it's based on his business income.

Quoting hello_kitty25: $3600 for one kid?!?!?!



Quoting Anonymous: What does your ex do for a living? My SO pays $3600 a month for one child. Does his ex have a job?
MrsDavidB25
by Stacey on Dec. 5, 2013 at 4:15 PM
11 moms liked this

 How are you going to get by when your ex no longer has to pay cs?

Quoting Anonymous:

I feel sorry for you if you think $6000 for a family with 5 kids living with us full time and 2 part time makes me miss moneybags.

Maybe it depends on the area but around here, it gets us by

 

Quoting JackieGirl007:

I am finding it really hard to feel sorry for you, Mrs. Moneybags.

 

 

MajikMcGuffin
by on Dec. 5, 2013 at 4:15 PM
18 moms liked this

I think it's wonderful that he want's to help out whenever she/the kids need help. I feel that should be commended. Let's be honest, too damn many don't even provide the minimum they are supposed to, much less go the extra mile to make sure their kids' needs are being met.

If you have issue with money from both of your incomes going to her, tell him that he is free to give from HIS and his only. Tell him he can not take any of your income and give it to her. If he wants to give extra it must come from his pocket alone.

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