I am not abandoning my family for yours!! *Final Update*
Now I'm pissed! I tried to call her last night. She just called me back about 20 minutes ago. We chit chatted for a few minutes then I asked her if she would like to join us for Christmas dinner. I explained to her about my family coming in town, that I'm cooking, and would like her to join us. She flipped out on me. Told me that I had to cancel with my family. When I told her I would not do that she called me a selfish bitch, that Christmas is her holiday and that basically that my family is not important. I told her that I was sorry she felt like that, but I was not going to abandon my family that I haven't seen in a year for her. SO could go to her house if he wanted, but my DD and I would not be there, nor would we see her again until she apologized for speaking to me like that and calling me names.
Sorry it took me so long. I've been running around all day. I spoke with SO about my conversation with his mother. I told him that I called and invited her for Christmas dinner here and that not only did she flip out, but called me names as well. I also told him that when ever he sees her we will not be with him. She is also NOT welcome in MY (yes mine and only mine) home until SHE apologizes for her disgusting behavior towards me. He said he would talk to her about it. I told him if he didn't, I would be seriously evaluatong how much longer I was going to keep him around if he is going to be ok woth his mother talking to and treating me like that. A hour later mommy dearest asked him to come to ger house to do some stuff for her. Of course he went and I reminded him he needed to deal woth her behavior. He just said ok and left. This evening when my child and I got home I asked him if he talked to her. He just said "yeah". I asked what she had to say for herself and he just shrugged his shoulders. After sending my child to play in the bedroom, I looked straight at him, and told him to tell me what went on. He shrugged his shoulders and said "nothing". I was so mad I was shaking. I said well nothing has won you a ticket into the guest room tonight, and out of my house tomorrow. I will not be disrespected like that. If he wanted to stand by and let her treat me like that than they could both get out of my life. Simple as that. He said nothing. Not one word. Douche bag!
It is easier to add this to my post than to keep typing it over and over again. Ladies, he is NOT my husband and he is NOT the father of my 13 year old DD. This is MY house that my husband and I had together until he passed away 4 years ago. This is NOT the first time this woman has verbally attacked me. She started this crap the day her baby boy moved into my house. He has literally just sat there watching her talk to me like this, and not said one word. The only time he jumped to any one's defense it was in defense of her when the father of my dead husband and grandfather of my child, called her a bitch. She waltzed into my home while my in-laws were visiting dd and myself. As soon as she saw them she attacked me verbally for having them there, that they had no business being there, than called my dead husband, who was killed my a drunk driver, a worthless ass. My in-laws flipped on her and that's when fil called her a bitch.
Yesterday he really drug his feet packing his stuff and leaving. He spent 3 hours packing one suitcase. He took it where ever, came back, parked his butt on my couch, and started watching tv. I finally told him to leave. I told him that if he wasn't going to pack any more stuff he needed to leave, and the rest of it would be out front in the morning. He pouted, but left. After that I packed the rest of his stuff in a tote, and trash bag (dirty laundry).
This morning I sent him a text telling him his stuff was in the mudd room, and to please come get it. I worked from home today due to bad weather, so I just locked the door from the mudd room to the house, and went about my work day. Around 10:00 I hear some one pounding on the door and yelling. I'm guessing it was his mother, but I really don't know. I was on a conference call, and I didn't want to deal with her. After about 20 minutes they left. I got a call from his mom's phone not long after that which I ignored, and deleted the message without listening to it. I haven't heard a word since. I know I made the right choice. Even DD said she is so glad she doesn't have to see that woman again. So that's that. Now to start planning Christmas the way I want it without any drama from any one.