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What would your first thought be if your teenage DD came home and told you she is pregnant?

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Or if you have all boys what would you think if as a teenager he got someone pregnant. Would you be upset? Hurt? Disappointed?
by on Dec. 7, 2013 at 4:45 PM
Replies (681-686):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 14, 2013 at 1:16 PM


Quoting pedritosmama:

There is so much that is ignorant about your thinking I don't even know where to begin.  But I'll give it my best shot:

1.  Some types of cancer are also preventable.  (lung, liver, skin cancers).  Not 100%.  Pregnancy is 100% preventable by NOT HAVING SEX.

2..  Children are individuals.  They're human.  They'll make mistakes.   They'll learn from them.  Or sometimes they won't.  Understand this:  the will of other human beings is outside of your control.  The only person you control is you.    I'm sorry, but if my kids can't control themselves properly, they'll need to suffer the consequences of that lack of self-control, which means that I will not support teenage pregnancies.  Period.

3.  Having a child doesn't "toss away your chance for a decent life" at all.  You can still get your high school diploma/GED, or advanced college degrees.  The sky is the freaking limit.  Sometimes, having a child motivates people to do better because they want to give their child a better life.  (People like me.). Sometimes?  I won't bet on "sometimes".

4.  Having a child does not mean you can't have a decent relationship.   It sure as shit doesn't make it easier.

Everything about your logic crumbles.  And all it reveals about you is that you're a control freak you cannot accept that life isn't perfect.  Understand this:  even when life's complications come along, it doesn't mean life is over.  It means you've been offered a new adventure.  :). I'm not going to support my kids if they choose deliberately risky behaviors that affect not just them.  If my kid wanted to jump out of an airplane or join the Green Berets, more power to them.  If however, they choose to engage in activities that are INTENDED to produce offspring before they are emotionally or financially ready to do so and create a life, I will not support that, because it was a stupid, unnecessary risk that affects everybody involved, including a new human being who did not ask to have a couple of morons for parents who can't seem to grasp the concept that SEX = BABIES even though that's a well-known fact.  I'm sorry, but that's unacceptable to me, because it screams of a maladapted sense of priorities.  So, that particular fuckup is not going to be tolerated.  My kids know this.  My kids understand this.  And my kids know that that's not going to change.  


Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting pedritosmama: Comparing a child to cancer is sick and twisted.
Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting pedritosmama:


This type of thinking annoys me. Having a baby does not remove your chance of having a life.  I'm a single parent, and I work part-time and work toward my Masters degree so I can give my son a better life.  Plenty of teen moms still end up getting their degrees, and one day getting a decent job.  Just because they don't have a killer job and degree by age 22 doesn't mean it'll never happen.

Quoting Anonymous:

My first thought would be:

"Well, there goes her life."

Second thought would be the grab the nearest shovel and beat her ass with it.


Having cancer doesn't remove your chance at life either, but I don't want my kid getting cancer.

No, it's really not, it's a cluster of cells, except that cancer is random and pregnancy is pretty much 100% preventable unless you're a stupid kid who doesn't think past the self-esteem boost that somebody saying you're sooooooo pretty provides.

Understand this:  Some of us have high standards for our children, and we raise them with those standards clearly defined.  If the kids in question decide to be fucking morons and toss away their chances at decent lives, relationships and educations for chemical tinglies, some of us are going to choose to allow those kids to go down in flames.   




pedritosmama
by Bronze Member on Dec. 14, 2013 at 4:10 PM
Well then, don't support it! I noticed that since you couldn't back up your argument, you just changed it. Your initial argument was, "Having a child is equal to throwing away your life." When I showed you what was wrong with your logic, your new argument is "I won't support that behavior." Your new argument is better. I don't support my child engaging in risky behavior either. *thumbs up* I hope whenever your kids do mess up--which they will (not necessarily in having children, but they will deviate from your standards somehow), that they will finally prove to you that one mistake does not have to define your life. One mistake can become a huge blessing that changes your life *for the better.* And maybe they'll teach you that you can still be a wonderful person with a great life, even after bad/unexpected things happen.
Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting pedritosmama:

There is so much that is ignorant about your thinking I don't even know where to begin.  But I'll give it my best shot:

1.  Some types of cancer are also preventable.  (lung, liver, skin cancers).  Not 100%.  Pregnancy is 100% preventable by NOT HAVING SEX.

2..  Children are individuals.  They're human.  They'll make mistakes.   They'll learn from them.  Or sometimes they won't.  Understand this:  the will of other human beings is outside of your control.  The only person you control is you.    I'm sorry, but if my kids can't control themselves properly, they'll need to suffer the consequences of that lack of self-control, which means that I will not support teenage pregnancies.  Period.

3.  Having a child doesn't "toss away your chance for a decent life" at all.  You can still get your high school diploma/GED, or advanced college degrees.  The sky is the freaking limit.  Sometimes, having a child motivates people to do better because they want to give their child a better life.  (People like me.). Sometimes?  I won't bet on "sometimes".

4.  Having a child does not mean you can't have a decent relationship.   It sure as shit doesn't make it easier.

Everything about your logic crumbles.  And all it reveals about you is that you're a control freak you cannot accept that life isn't perfect.  Understand this:  even when life's complications come along, it doesn't mean life is over.  It means you've been offered a new adventure.  :). I'm not going to support my kids if they choose deliberately risky behaviors that affect not just them.  If my kid wanted to jump out of an airplane or join the Green Berets, more power to them.  If however, they choose to engage in activities that are INTENDED to produce offspring before they are emotionally or financially ready to do so and create a life, I will not support that, because it was a stupid, unnecessary risk that affects everybody involved, including a new human being who did not ask to have a couple of morons for parents who can't seem to grasp the concept that SEX = BABIES even though that's a well-known fact.  I'm sorry, but that's unacceptable to me, because it screams of a maladapted sense of priorities.  So, that particular fuckup is not going to be tolerated.  My kids know this.  My kids understand this.  And my kids know that that's not going to change.  


Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting pedritosmama: Comparing a child to cancer is sick and twisted.
Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting pedritosmama:


This type of thinking annoys me. Having a baby does not remove your chance of having a life.  I'm a single parent, and I work part-time and work toward my Masters degree so I can give my son a better life.  Plenty of teen moms still end up getting their degrees, and one day getting a decent job.  Just because they don't have a killer job and degree by age 22 doesn't mean it'll never happen.

Quoting Anonymous:

My first thought would be:

"Well, there goes her life."

Second thought would be the grab the nearest shovel and beat her ass with it.


Having cancer doesn't remove your chance at life either, but I don't want my kid getting cancer.

No, it's really not, it's a cluster of cells, except that cancer is random and pregnancy is pretty much 100% preventable unless you're a stupid kid who doesn't think past the self-esteem boost that somebody saying you're sooooooo pretty provides.

Understand this:  Some of us have high standards for our children, and we raise them with those standards clearly defined.  If the kids in question decide to be fucking morons and toss away their chances at decent lives, relationships and educations for chemical tinglies, some of us are going to choose to allow those kids to go down in flames.   




supercarp
by on Dec. 18, 2013 at 12:26 PM

None of those. We would sit down and decide what to do. I would not force her to have an abortion, but I would suggest it. I am not of the opinion that an embryo is equivalent to a baby. Yet. Time is everything.

Justine1993
by Gold Member on Jan. 27, 2014 at 5:05 AM
Disappointed for sure but I would be 100% supportive in what they choose.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 27, 2014 at 5:07 AM
I would be disappointed in DS and in shock. No one wants to hear that. 'm hoping as he gets older he'll know right from wrong. I would talk to both of them and suggest abortion or adoption. I wouldn't yell at him because it's pointless, but I'd be beyond furious and he'd know it. There's no reason he couldn't have used protection.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 27, 2014 at 5:17 AM

I recently had this scare.

My son calls me to tell me his ex-gf is pregnant. First thing out of my mouth was, DNA test. 

A week later, I find out it was a lie (joke) played on my son by the ex AND her mother.

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