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Thoughts of a SAHM

Posted by on Dec. 9, 2013 at 12:33 PM
  • 126 Replies
9 moms liked this

Right now, I feel disrespected. I feel like the whole world thinks if you dont make money you are worthless.

I work from the minuet i get up to the minuet i go to bed. I get a few minuets to myself here and there. Like when my kid naps for all of an hour after i spent an hour and a half putting her down. No, I don't bring home a paycheck and i don't clock out at the end of the day. I do every chore in the house. Everything. I cook, do all the shopping, i care for our daughter and sometimes, i get a minuet to take care of myself.

Don't get me wrong. I love my child. I wouldn't trade my job for anything in the world. Getting to see her every milestone, every first, is priceless. For me, there's no paycheck that would be worth missing all that i get to experience with her.

The outside world though, has no respect for SAHM's. Their judgment rubs off on me and i start to think they might be right. Then i wonder, well what is success? I'm doing what i always dreamed to do. I'm really good at my job. I do it all dispite the fact that I don't take home a paycheck or get vacation time. There are no days off or "mental health days" to be had. I don't  always get the appreciation i think i should. No one out there in the working world has ever told me "what your doing is so important, good for you" but i have gotten "are you ever gonna go back to work so your husband doesn't have to support you?" But i have to shake that off, because  i'm doing what i like.

Is life all about money? If your broke but happy are you a loser? did you fail at life if you never brought home more than minimum wadge, but enjoyed the job you did?

Life to me is not measured in nickles and dimes. It's in love and happiness. My life is happy, therefore, success!

Am i alone in this thought?  Does anyone else feel the same? Any other stay at home mom's get this sort of guff?  

by on Dec. 9, 2013 at 12:33 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by Anonymous 1 on Dec. 9, 2013 at 12:35 PM
I don't really care what people think. I just do what I need to do. Most of the time it's jealousy. Who wouldn't love not having to work? Oh well. It is what it is.
by on Dec. 9, 2013 at 12:35 PM
6 moms liked this
I am a SAHM but no one has ever given me grief for it and I don't GAF what the haters on CM think. So I'm happy with my choice.
by Platinum Member on Dec. 9, 2013 at 12:36 PM
Pfft I tell them that husband makes more than enough. They stop judging.
by on Dec. 9, 2013 at 12:36 PM
5 moms liked this
Honestly in real life I don't find this to be true at all, the only time I have ever been disrespected for being a SAHM is on here
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 9, 2013 at 12:38 PM
3 moms liked this

I am a working mom. The judgments go both ways. I think you are doing awesome, stop worrying about what assholes think of you and keep your head up high. Allot of working moms are just jealous - including myself.

by Ruby Member on Dec. 9, 2013 at 12:39 PM
I've never gotten that treatment. But to be fair most moms that live near me stay home and my friends that do work only work part time because they want to.
by Ruby Member on Dec. 9, 2013 at 12:39 PM
4 moms liked this

A few weeks back I was at a Scentsy party and a woman asked if I worked--My mother IMMEDIATELY piped up and said "no, she stays home FOR NOW but she used to work"  I felt very diminished.  The woman stammered an apology that she meant nothing by it--yet it wasn't her question that bothered me it was my Mom's response.  I LOVE being a SAHM.  It is the most rewarding "occupation" I've ever had and one that is so fleeting.  My son will start school when he is just 2 weeks shy of 6...that means I have a little under 4 years left to be his exclusive care giver and that will be here and gone before I know it.

In the eyes of many I'm undervaluing myself--but when my husband says "Thank you for taking such good care of our son"  I realize the opinions of the many don't matter at all, but the opinions of those directly affected by my caring do.

by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 9, 2013 at 12:40 PM

Who is this outside world that is judging you???  Try going through your life focusing on yourself, and not worrying about what other people may be thinking or doing.  If you feel strongly about your beliefs, the beliefs and judgements of others shouldn't matter. 

by on Dec. 9, 2013 at 12:41 PM
4 moms liked this

I'm tired of the whole working mom vs. SAHM thing.

I work. Is it ideal? No. But it's what needs to be done right now. Even though I'm a working mom, I don't get those "mental health days" or days off either that you mention. Yeah, maybe from my job I might, but not from being a mom. Yeah, I get vacation time...but again, that's from my job not from being a mom. I also do all the cooking, cleaning, and shopping with a bit of help from my husband.

I think both types of moms should be respected and admired and neither is better than the other. Just my opinion.

ETA: I'd love to stay home if I could. :(

by Bronze Member on Dec. 9, 2013 at 12:41 PM
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Many do, but just as many working moms get bashed for leaving their child with someone else.

Its funny, if you work at a daycare and take care of kids, its a job. At home with kids- slacker. 

People think SAHMS are lazy, yoga pants wearing bonbon eating gossip spreading fools. 

And I just realized I am wearing yoga pants. Ha. 

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