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Grandparent overstepping their bounds...how do you deal?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 89 Replies
We are staying with my dad temporarily right now and its becoming a bit uncomfortable. It will only be a few months until our house is ready but I just don't know how to approach this without seeming ungrateful, however its becoming quite an issue for both dh and myself. My dad is VERY old school, as in comes from the generation where children were seen and not heard. He harps on my kids for everything, EVERY LITTLE THING. "You're walking too loudly, you're not suppose to color that way,etc". Meaningless shit that has no point. Well first week it didn't bother me, he's old (76) and hasn't had children around in a long time so I thought he'll loosen up just give it time. No its worse, he jumps on my kids constantly so much so that I really feel like he's stepping on our toes as parents and putting his two cents in when its not his place. Last straw was tonight, dh and I had stepped out of the kitchen when my 4 yr old asked for more pork chops. My dad said "OK I'll get it" then proceeds to cut it up and put it on a plate. Just about this time dh was walking back into the kitchen and he heard my 4 yr old say he didn't want it cut up. My dad slung the plate on the table and barked "you'll eat it like it is". Dh came to me immediately bc he was so mad he was afraid of what he might say or do and I am now seething myself. We don't speak to our children like that PERIOD, and I really am not comfortable with my dad doing it either. I feel like I'm in between a rock and a hard place because this is his home and he is allowing us to stay here....what would you do??
Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 9, 2013 at 9:04 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 9, 2013 at 9:07 PM
Bump
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 9, 2013 at 9:08 PM
Bump
Snapdragon88
by Ruby Member on Dec. 9, 2013 at 9:09 PM
1 mom liked this
Why did he wait to say he didn't want it cut up until after it was already done?


I don't know what to tell you. What can you really do while you're living in his house? Try talking to him.. have you done that yet?
Zazayam
by Ruby Member on Dec. 9, 2013 at 9:09 PM

Well, his house his rules I suppose...

AngryBob
by Platinum Member on Dec. 9, 2013 at 9:10 PM
You can't do much while you're living off the kindness of others. Get out of there as soon as you can. If there was actual abuse going on, I'd say get an apartment or something for now. Good luck.
scarletmeshell
by Platinum Member on Dec. 9, 2013 at 9:11 PM

I am sorry mama but I don't think there is any way to change grandpa now. If you have no other options try to keep the kids out of his way.

LAXmom21
by Ruby Member on Dec. 9, 2013 at 9:12 PM
Try talking to him about the way he speaks to your kids.
Maybe he doesn't realize his tone or did he yell? I know I don't always know when I'm being snappy.
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TatyBear
by on Dec. 9, 2013 at 9:12 PM
I live at my.parents house too but they are not old. Only 50.

I let my parents discipline my children when it needs to be, we are on the same page for everything. If I'm here or they are with the kids. Its the same always.

Not much you can do but move if you don't like the way he is with the kids.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 9, 2013 at 9:12 PM
7 moms liked this
So either your spawn was going to eat it like a pig or you give your 4yr old a knife? I'm not seeing where he was wrong.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 9, 2013 at 9:13 PM
I'd keep my mouth shut.
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