Age-15 I let my mother's alcoholic ex-husband take nude photos of me for $70 and a Marilyn Manson T-shirt. After I mailed the Polaroids to the police department with my name and age and the name of the asshole that took the pictures. He got 3 years in prison. Later that year I sued his estate and won.
Age 15- I bribed a judge once when I was 19. I gave him a BJ for throwing my case out of court.
Age 16- I spent the summer in Amsterdam getting high
Age 17- I told my married overage boyfriend I was pregnant and needed $1400 for an abortion just because I wanted $1400. I wasn't really pregnant.
Age 19- I had a baby out of wedlock
Age 20- My child died
Age 21- I had another baby to replace her because I so emotionally damaged from losing my baby (she had DS and a heart problem) that I thought having another baby with the first idiot dumb enough to sleep with me without a rubber would fill the hole left by my daughters death.
Age 22- I slept with my college professor for a recommendation for a scholarship
Age- 25 I told my baby-daddy's new wife all about his affair with my best-friend (who is a transsexual and has a bigger dong than my ex!) And threatened to tell him about the affair she had with his brother (who is my pot dealer) if she didn't take my son every Saturday night for 7 months so I could go party
Age 26- I snorted coke off a strippers ass.
Age 27- I outed my baby-daddy as a homosexual to his family. It was the best thing I've ever done for my child. Baby Daddy went from shady self loathing dead beat dad to loving attentive father with self esteem and pride.
Age 27- I slept with a famous British actor while on vacation in Spain. I would be the envy of all my friend but I've never told any of them I keep it a secret. I even have a few cellphone pics of us together from that night and I keep those under lock and key no one has seen them. Not even my current husband. It was just one night but it was memorable.
Age-28 I met my husband while on vacation to California. When I first met him I thought he was an asshole and I almost blew him off. But he quoted Shakespeare so I gave him a second to redeem himself.
Age 28- I lied on my resume and said I had a degree in something I don't have a degree in to get my current job, they still don't know.
Age 29- I lied to my then boyfriend now husband that I wasn't ovulating even though I knew very well that I was. I just really wanted a baby. He marred me a week after we found out I was pregnant. I never told him the truth.
Age 30- When my son was diagnosed MMR I cried for 3 days straight
Age 32- I sold my neighbours annoying cat on craigslist.
Age 32- Whenever my boss is in the office I wear a push up bra and low cut shirt and I'm the only one in the whole office that doesn't get in trouble for something.
Age 33- I slashed my husband's ex girlfriend's tires after she came into his work to try and get him back.
Age 33- I've successfully hidden half of my money from my husband thanks to a off shore account I've had since I was 17 that I just never mentioned to him. The account has more than he makes in one year just sitting in it.