I can't believe she said this, and not sure what to tell DH ##Updated##
We are a blended family. It is DH and I, my 2 girls from a past relationship,DH's daughter from a past relationship, our son together, and we are currently expecting a girl next month.
I was just doing general clean up up stairs, not trying to listen in, when heard SD and DD arguing, they are both 9. They were arguing about the fact that the baby is coming and it's a girl.SD told DD that her mom told her this baby was going to replace her as DH's favorite, and that it was OK if she didn't like her, want to be around her, etc. We dealt with this a little when we had DS,but not too much.BM had put alot of crap in SD's head. SD then told DD that she was thinking about "smuggling the baby with a pillow one night" after she gets here, she won't let DH "like the baby better than her". DD straight socked SD in the face and they got inot a fight.
Neither girl knew I heard the conversation, just that they were fighting, and came to stop it. Neither wanted to say WHY they got into a fight, DD just told me she would be watching HER baby sister close when she got here so nothing bad happens. SD has a black eye and a few body bruises, but nothing too fatal. How do I handle this? DH is going to be MAD,let me tell ya, especially that BM is at it again.
I would never NOT tell DH, he needs to know. Just not sure how to bring it up. SD can't go to counseling again unless BM agrees, and she has already refused in the past. BM felt the counselor was being too nosy into her home life, and quit letting SD go. It has been 6 months or so.
Dh and I talked last night, and he is super mad that BM is pulling this again, she did it when I had DS2.5, but not too badly. Then she had told SD that she'd better pray I had a boy, b/c she would be replaced, I had a boy, the end. DH and I sat down with SD today and SD totally broke down. SD didn't come at all for thanksgiving, b/c BM had out of town family coming to her mom's. Well, she told SD she didn't come to my family's and DH's family's Thanksgiving b/c we didn't want her to come!! So SD was angry as she and DD's conversation had started out about family, holidays, etc.
Lately SD has been in a decent amount of trouble for being violent too, we found out. BM or the school hadn't informed DH, though it is in the CO for that to be done. SD got suspended for 2 days for verbally telling another child at school she was going to kick her ass. SD also stabbed her brother by BM with a pencil in the hand. This is SO out o character for her! When DH talked to BM, BM wasn't worried, telling DH that it's normal for a kid to be upset when another child comes into the family. BM refused counseling, so DH told her that he was seeking mediation again then, and she hung up on him.