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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I can't believe she said this, and not sure what to tell DH ##Updated##

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 76 Replies

We are a blended family. It is DH and I, my 2 girls from a past relationship,DH's daughter from a past relationship, our son together, and we are currently expecting a girl next month.

I was just doing general clean up up stairs, not trying to listen in, when heard SD and DD arguing, they are both 9. They were arguing about the fact that the baby is coming and it's a girl.SD told DD that her mom told her this baby was going to replace her as DH's favorite, and that it was OK if she didn't like her, want to be around her, etc. We dealt with this a little when we had DS,but not too much.BM had put alot of crap in SD's head. SD then told DD that she was thinking about "smuggling the baby with a pillow one night" after she gets here, she won't let DH "like the baby better than her". DD straight socked SD in the face and they got inot a fight.

Neither girl knew I heard the conversation, just that they were fighting, and came to stop it. Neither wanted to say WHY they got into a fight, DD just told me she would be watching HER baby sister close when she got here so nothing bad happens. SD has a black eye and a few body bruises, but nothing too fatal. How do I handle this? DH is going to be MAD,let me tell ya, especially that BM is at it again. 

I would never NOT tell DH, he needs to know. Just not sure how to bring it up. SD can't go to counseling again unless BM agrees, and she has already refused in the past. BM felt the counselor was being too nosy into her home life, and quit letting SD go. It has been 6 months or so.

Dh and I talked last night, and he is super mad that BM is pulling this again, she did it when I had DS2.5, but not too badly. Then she had told SD that she'd better pray I had a boy, b/c she would be replaced, I had a boy, the end. DH and I sat down with SD today and SD totally broke down. SD didn't come at all for thanksgiving, b/c BM had out of town family coming to her mom's. Well, she told SD she didn't come to my family's and DH's family's Thanksgiving b/c we didn't want her to come!! So SD was angry as she and DD's conversation had started out about family, holidays, etc. 

Lately SD has been in a decent amount of trouble for being violent too, we found out. BM or the school hadn't informed DH, though it is in the CO for that to be done. SD got suspended for 2 days for verbally telling another child at school she was going to kick her ass. SD also stabbed her brother by BM with a pencil in the hand. This is SO out o character for her! When DH talked to BM, BM wasn't worried, telling DH that it's normal for a kid to be upset when another child comes into the family. BM refused counseling, so DH told her that he was seeking mediation again then, and she hung up on him.

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 14, 2013 at 8:12 PM
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Replies (1-10):
bethgoedeken
by Silver Member on Dec. 14, 2013 at 8:14 PM
3 moms liked this

Kudos to your DD for standing up for the baby! DH definately needs to intervene though.

schatzi869
by Gold Member on Dec. 14, 2013 at 8:14 PM
tell him.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 14, 2013 at 8:14 PM
That's ridiculous that BM tells her that kind of stuff and SD believes it.. I'd tell dh everything and watch my baby closely
StephMosDef
by Silver Member on Dec. 14, 2013 at 8:16 PM
You need to tell him straight. Call both girls in for a family meeting and calmly tell sd you heard what she said. Get her counselling ASAP!
emt088
by Silver Member on Dec. 14, 2013 at 8:16 PM

i would never hide stuff like this from DH. Especially if god forbid she should follow through on her threat.. how terrible would you feel then? Another set of watchful eyes sounds like something you need right about now

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Dec. 14, 2013 at 8:17 PM

BM refuses all counseling, and they must agree on it or SD to be able to go. BM stopped her from going b/c she felt the counselor was being too nosy into life at BM's home.

Quoting StephMosDef: You need to tell him straight. Call both girls in for a family meeting and calmly tell sd you heard what she said. Get her counselling ASAP!


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 14, 2013 at 8:17 PM
Ahh...damn. good luck. Tell dh everything, have a serious heart to heart with SD, keeping in mind that some of these things (at least, seeds of thought) are coming from BM.

JulyBabies
by Gold Member on Dec. 14, 2013 at 8:18 PM
No way around it, you have to handle it head on by telling him and perhaps getting some counseling set up in the time leading up to the birth to ward off any bad feelings or potential violence.
sassygoddess
by Bronze Member on Dec. 14, 2013 at 8:18 PM

 Definitely tell DH and watch the baby like a hawk when she gets here...

Allie_kat1
by Gold Member on Dec. 14, 2013 at 8:18 PM
1 mom liked this
Tell DH, and get your step daughter into counseling ASAP. It is NOT normal to casually talk about killing a baby. If that is the kind of thing her "mother" is putting into her head, I would be seriously thinking about having custody revised.
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