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He archived his FB messages to women

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 25 Replies
SO has a handful of female friends on FB from when he was younger. All friends, nothing more. (He deleted anyone with a past romantic attachment when we first got together.) I have his FB password and have from the beginning.

Occasionally he talks to these female friends through private message. He always tells me when and gives me the gist of the conversations. I've never had any reason not to trust him. I know that if I want to look, I can, but I've never had any reason to.

Well I've been cheated on by my ex and I'm a little insecure, so every time he's chatting with anyone I glance over his shoulder and look at the current conversation and the list of past conversations so I feel better. I'm trying to work on myself, I know I need to.

Well yesterday he left his laptop open to that page and I noticed the conversations with the past 2 female friends were missing. I scrolled down to see and there was a convo with my dad from June but he chatted with those 2 since then.

So I asked him point blank if he was deleting conversations with girls. He said he archived them and it was because every time he sits with me and his laptop is open to Facebook, I get "distracted" with trying to see the girls on his list. I didn't even realize he noticed that I did it.

He then said he was going to the neighbor's house to show him his new tool from Lowe's and told me to look at his Facebook and download the whole archive and read through it if it would make me feel better. That he isn't hiding anything.

So what would you do?
Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 17, 2013 at 12:12 PM
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Replies (1-10):
OwlNuggets
by HAIL NUGGY! on Dec. 17, 2013 at 12:13 PM

Think about if this behavior between you two is conducive to a healthy adult relationship.

chicklopez
by Silver Member on Dec. 17, 2013 at 12:13 PM

 Look at it or trust him.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Dec. 17, 2013 at 12:15 PM
Me or him? Or both?

Quoting OwlNuggets:

Think about if this behavior between you two is conducive to a healthy adult relationship.

wonderstruck11
by Gold Member on Dec. 17, 2013 at 12:15 PM
I think you need to have a little trust. He seems to try to be open about it, but you are acting like a jealous brat.
OwlNuggets
by HAIL NUGGY! on Dec. 17, 2013 at 12:17 PM

Both of you should try and put yourself in an outsider's perspective and see where your relationship is, what your quirks are, and what you can do to be better for each other. We've all got things we can work on :)

Quoting Anonymous: Me or him? Or both?

Quoting OwlNuggets:

Think about if this behavior between you two is conducive to a healthy adult relationship.




AVE SATANAS!
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Dec. 17, 2013 at 12:18 PM
Ouch :( Guess I need to hear that though.

Quoting wonderstruck11: I think you need to have a little trust. He seems to try to be open about it, but you are acting like a jealous brat.
AuntReese
by on Dec. 17, 2013 at 12:20 PM
1. He's already deleted specific messages or 2. He's honest and trustworthy and knows he has nothing to hide.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 17, 2013 at 12:23 PM

I'd download the whole archive and read it... just incase he's just saying that so I wouldn't actually do it (my ex would use the "reverse psychology" on me all the time). 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 17, 2013 at 12:24 PM

I would look, because that's just me. If it isn't private, then I want to know what it is, I'm nosey, and if it is private, that's a whole other conversation we'd be having. He could be testing you. Sometimes, even when something is going on, the other person will say, go ahead look, thinking you'll say, no it's okay. Hell no it's not okay with me, if you tell me to look you better bet I'm calling your bluff and looking lol.

TSNDDY
by Ruby Member on Dec. 17, 2013 at 12:26 PM
Honestly I would read it, that behaviour seems fishy to me.
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