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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Please advise: Visitation and the suicidal parent

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 27 Replies
My so, well I guess now exso, has been pushing for me to move in together.  We have two small kids. We haven't been able to come to a location agreement  and he has not had a full time job in the 6 years we've known each other.  He always manages to get by but it is a constant struggle that causes a great deal of stress, he has at times taken out this stress on walls or hot water heaters. I told him that in order for us to really move forward I need a display of stability, full time job (or at least enough to reasonably live off of steadily), keep the outbursts to a minimum, and no borrowing from family. Fast forward a couple of days and he has informed me that we are done.

While that sucks after all of the time and energy as I have put into us I have to focus on our kids best interest first. If he feels I am wrong then I don't know what else to do. Late last night he sent a bunch of texts saying he wanted to die. I talked to him but ended up hanging up when he told me to "shut the fuck up". His threats continued all of today and it's gotten out of hand. I called at one point to try to talk him down and once again hung up after he called me a c u next tuesday. And the suicidal texts continue. 

I have informed his roommate and his parents. I have screenshots of every word exchanged for the last four days and have sent copies to myself, his dad, and an email I use only for important things that he doesn't know about (in case he somehow hacks my other one). 

Looking ahead I am now worried about his interactions with our kids. He has threatened to hurt himself before and has gone as far as scratching his wrist "to prove a point" a few months ago. I honestly don't believe he would do anything permanent. He is simply trying to get me to break as he's done before.

 My question is this, seeing as he is clearly unhinged is there a process for making sure he isn't alone with our kids or would the court not see him as a threat? I don't believe he would hurt them but he doesn't always have the longest of fuses and has thrown things and cussed out inanimate objects while they are present. He also lives 5+ hours away and has never been alone with them overnight so I am not really worried about custody at this point. Just not sure how visitation type stuff works. Sorry so long but any advice is appreciated. Thank you.
Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 18, 2013 at 6:05 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Dec. 18, 2013 at 6:10 PM
Bump
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 18, 2013 at 6:12 PM

Talk to a lawer

rhope4
by Gold Member on Dec. 18, 2013 at 6:13 PM
Is there a court order on visitation in place? You are right to be concerned. Get legal advice.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Dec. 18, 2013 at 6:14 PM
I have a couple of calls in but finding anyone who will just answer a question without charging $300 is proving difficult. I know I've seen similar topics discussed here so figured why the hell not ask these ladies.

Quoting Anonymous:

Talk to a lawer

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Dec. 18, 2013 at 6:16 PM
nothing yet as this is currently unfolding. Trying to find a lawyer in my area who doesn't charge out the bum for a consult.

Quoting rhope4: Is there a court order on visitation in place? You are right to be concerned. Get legal advice.
bluemountain75
by SoftballMom on Dec. 18, 2013 at 6:16 PM
Get a lawyer and document everything !!!!!!!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 18, 2013 at 6:16 PM
You need to talk with a lawyer. Also i would call the police and have them place him on a 72 hour psych hold. If he wants to threaten suicide let him deal with the consequences
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Dec. 18, 2013 at 6:17 PM
I'm nowhere near and he said he won't answer if anyone were to knock. He also lives in the most dangerous city in our state so I'm not sure cops would even bother.

Quoting Anonymous: You need to talk with a lawyer. Also i would call the police and have them place him on a 72 hour psych hold. If he wants to threaten suicide let him deal with the consequences
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Dec. 18, 2013 at 6:19 PM
I have screeshots of everything he's sent and have written down dates and actions during his oitbursts over the last year (there's only been a handful).

Quoting bluemountain75: Get a lawyer and document everything !!!!!!!
ame85
by Chemistry cat on Dec. 18, 2013 at 6:22 PM
He can get supervised visitation, but it will be a huge hassle for him. I'm sorry you're going through this.
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