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Buying for 4 kids when you only have that fair?

Posted by Anonymous
  • 73 Replies

This comes up every holiday.  I have a cousin with 4 kids and she's notorious for being cheap.  I admire the way she makes a buck stretch but sometimes she takes it a bit too far to the point of being tacky.  Like she'll have one big bday party for ALL her kids who's ages range from 13 to 7, feeds everyone hotdogs and chips and because it's a bday party of course you have to gift but since there's so many people just don't go and she wonders why.  

She's well known for jumping ahead at Christmas and buying gifts for the families with one or two kids because that means they'll have to buy for her FOUR when all she bought was for one or two.  I have 2 kids and had no problem telling her we couldn't afford to gift outside the immediate family so not to bother getting mine anything but not everyone will tell her but they'll complain.  We have 2 families that are just starting out so it's a little tough and they suggested drawing names and she got offended because that would mean only one of her kids would be getting a gift so they're back to having to buy for her four when all she has to buy is one.  Is that fair?  Would you moms with 4 or more mind telling me what's the proper etiquette on that?  She's notorious for buying stuff on clearance this year and gifting it for next which is no problem cause I do the same especially if it's toys but I'm still spending double.  She has 3 girls and I've thought about getting them all like a game but they're ages are soo different and it'd be awkward to get her son something completely different.  I'm just wondering how everybody else deals with this situation.?

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 18, 2013 at 11:09 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by Emerald Member on Dec. 18, 2013 at 11:12 PM
Just because she gets someone's kid a gift, doesn't mean they have to give one in return.
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 18, 2013 at 11:15 PM
I have drank way too much to fully comprehend your post. I don't buy for cousins but i do buy for all four of my brother's kids (happily) even though I only have one.
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 18, 2013 at 11:16 PM
My sils get my 3 presents even though we only have one to buy for in return. They would not think that was wrong. I would not wither if it was the opposite.
by Buzz Lightyear on Dec. 18, 2013 at 11:16 PM

I'd just do gift for gift. 4 kids..... For 4 kids. So if she gifts a family of 1 then the family of 1 gifts her 1 gift... Thus if she wants 4 gifts.. Or 1 per kid... She needs to buy gifts for 4 kids

eta: I have 4 kids :)

by on Dec. 18, 2013 at 11:17 PM
When we were little we always did a gift exchange with our cousins. I have 22 cousins so they always divided boys and girls and then everyone picked one name and bought for that person. That way if you have 2 kids you buy 2 presents, but everyone still gets a gift.
by Emerald Member on Dec. 18, 2013 at 11:19 PM
I hope you wouldn't be buying a gift for one or two kids and not the others, that's just fucked up. But if you're meaning more of a family gift, then do it.
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by Gold Member on Dec. 18, 2013 at 11:19 PM
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And you're calling her cheap? Either buy the kids gifts or not. Christmas is about love, not equal exchanges.
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by imjenndoe on Dec. 18, 2013 at 11:20 PM
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I would buy a gift card that would be to cover admission to a matinee for her four children. She could take them to the movie, pay for herself and the snacks... I wouldn't buy each a gift. I would get them one that could be used for an activity.....

by Platinum Member on Dec. 18, 2013 at 11:20 PM
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If she truly does this on purpose I'd buy her kids a family gift like a movie night gift basket with candy, popcorn and cozy socks for all of them and a movie they'd all enjoy watching together.

In my family my siblings and I buy for all the kids.
by on Dec. 18, 2013 at 11:20 PM
My birthday party etiquette: I have 3 kids. When we get invited to parties I usually bring a gift from each of my children or a $30 ish or more from all 3.

As for Xmas: we don't really exchange gifts but if we do we have similar number of kids.
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