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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My daughter refused to pick up her sister today, left her stranded

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 415 Replies
1 mom liked this

I have two daughters. One is 17 and one is 11. My 11 year old suffers from Oppositional Defiant Disorder and has made significant progress over the years, but beginning puberty has been a bit of a backslide, as the combination of hormones and general preteen sass aren't helping. 

She can be angry often and say hurtful things when she loses her temper. I've learned to ignore it, but my 17 year old has always had a much thinner skin about it, and has often said she resents that we "let her get away with this". I don't let her get away with anything, there's always a punishment, but I don't engage her when she's having a tantrum.

Yesterday, my 17 year old was supposed to pick her up from dance class because DH and I had to go to his work Christmas party. I gave DD11 my cell to call her sister when she was done. An hour after she was supposed to be picked up, my DH checked his phone and saw 25 missed calls.

My DD11 finished dance class early and called her sister and said "come get me now" in a snotty tone. Obviously not okay. My DD17 said "what's the magic word..." and her sister apparently flew off the handle and was rude, said "you have to pick me up when I say" and was insulting her calling her stupid and useless. My DD17 said "fine, have fun getting home then".

DH and I rushed from his party to the dance studio, and she had been sitting alone in the attached cafe for over an hour. While I realize that she CAN'T speak to her sister that way EVER and she's being punished, I'm so upset with my DD17 for not picking her up. She knows her sister has these issues. 

I haven't discussed consequences or what happened with my DD17 since last night, when we fought about it. She's been at school all day and still isn't home. Any advice or support anyone can offer?

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 19, 2013 at 8:24 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 19, 2013 at 8:25 PM
126 moms liked this

Go DD17. 

Act like an ungrateful snot, get treated like an ungrateful snot. 

Melissa_4
by Ruby Member on Dec. 19, 2013 at 8:27 PM
13 moms liked this

I'm not much help here...I'm siding with the 17-year-old on this one.  11 is old enough to have manners, no matter what kind of ODD she has.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 19, 2013 at 8:27 PM

No but here's a bump.

LoveNaCupcake
by on Dec. 19, 2013 at 8:28 PM
8 moms liked this

Sorry but sounds like someone got a taste of her own medicine! Honestly I would have done the same thing, you wanna treat people that way? Fine, sit there by yourself.

bmw29
by spitfire_bobbie on Dec. 19, 2013 at 8:28 PM
9 moms liked this
I wouldn't have picked her insolent little behind up either. If you're ok dealing with it then you deal with it but don't make your other daughter.
ButterMeUp
by Butters on Dec. 19, 2013 at 8:28 PM
4 moms liked this

SN or not, I completely understand your elder leaving your younger. She was rude and she needs to learn rude people do not get far in life.

*If you read my post and there are mistakes in my spelling or grammar please note that I never learned either in school and I am currently learning them now. If you see a mistake POLITELY point it out and I'll be more than happy to correct my mistake. Here's a fun little siggy for your enjoyment. *

abecee
by on Dec. 19, 2013 at 8:28 PM
2 moms liked this

Getting talked to like that is really wearing and would get harder and harder to take time after time.  I think your 17 yo was at her limit with her sisters horrible behavior.

ChewyBrownies
by Platinum Member on Dec. 19, 2013 at 8:29 PM
2 moms liked this

Welp! She'll get over it. Hopefully she learns how to control her temper. She's getting to that age where girls are mean and snotty and won't take her crap.even if she has a disorder
Supervane
by Ruby Member on Dec. 19, 2013 at 8:29 PM
18 moms liked this
Sounds like your 17 year old taught her a important life lesson that you haven't been able to...

onaflowers
by Silver Member on Dec. 19, 2013 at 8:29 PM
3 moms liked this
At 17 i would have left her too.
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