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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

What advice would you give your child in this situation?

Posted by on Dec. 21, 2013 at 3:09 AM
  • 51 Replies
My oldest son is 11 years old and in 5th grade. He's a pretty good kid. Never gets in trouble at school and is really easy going and considerate of others. I'm not saying he's a total angel, but he really is sweet and kind. He always makes sure we bring something special to school for his classmate that has a dairy allergy when they have parties.

Anyway, he told us a few days ago that he's been having trouble with a few other boys on the bus. They tell him to shut up, that he's annoying bad no one likes him. Make fun of him for things. For instance, not knowing what the Harlem Shake is. Not uncommon for kids to do at this age, but still a shitty situation for him.
Also, one of them frequently says something to the effect of "Shut up, you little bitch!" when my son tries to say something to them.

He said it's been going on for a while. He's just been choosing to deal with it by turning the other way and ignoring them, hoping they'd knock it off.

Obviously hasn't worked. He has asked us not to go talk to the kids' parents, the school, or bus driver at this point. That that will only make things worse. And I can definitely see that happening with boys this age.

If it progresses or doesn't stop.....we will definitely be addressing it with the school and other parents.

But what advice would you give your child in this situation? We've talked to him and given him advice. I'm sure it wouldn't be popular advice though lol.
by on Dec. 21, 2013 at 3:09 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Dec. 21, 2013 at 3:18 AM
This is a situation i still havent figured out how i would handle. Kids having a confrontation over one particular issue, i know what id do. But when the kid is being picked on because they arent "cool" is tough. I remember how that goes. If your the dorky kid in school everyone is gunna give you hell unless you conform to what they think is cool or just beat their ass. I wouldnt wanna tell my kids to change who they are, but i wouldnt wanna see them just deal with that torture either. I guess the best thing would be to teach him not to give a damn about what they say. If i were in ur sons shoes id get even and find a way to embarass them so bad they wanted to run away crying. But then im not gunna tell my kids to do that lol
eme20913
by Silver Member on Dec. 21, 2013 at 3:20 AM

i'd start with the bus driver and ask them to not make a big deal of it but to moniter the situation a little more closely? i wouldn't talk to the driver directly call the bus barn and just say your a concerned parent who is being told by their child about bullying on the bus so your son doesn't get singled out. if that does nothing you'll probably want to tell your son that you'll have to talk to parents and or the school because his saftey comes first and he shouldnt be afraid of being harrassed on the bus.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 21, 2013 at 3:21 AM

Oh shoot. Following. Don't know what I'd do. 

csxt99
by Jennifer on Dec. 21, 2013 at 3:21 AM

I'd tell him to ignore as long as he can, which is what he seems to have been doing.  Once he was fed up, I would tell him to give as good as he's getting.  

RadnRem
by Gold Member on Dec. 21, 2013 at 3:25 AM
See, he's never had a problem with any kids before. Was even friends with one of them last year.

And I don't think he's dorky or unpopular.....but I can't say for sure. When I take him to school/class occasionally, all the kids are like "Ethan!!! Hey man, what's up!" That type of thing lol.
I don't care if he's unpopular (other than if he's picked on, ya know?) and we've made sure to tell him that these kids are just being jerks. That he's a great kid and doesn't need to change that because of a few punk asses on the bus.

He does great at ignoring them, but I think it's time for him to stand up for himself also.


Quoting Anonymous: This is a situation i still havent figured out how i would handle. Kids having a confrontation over one particular issue, i know what id do. But when the kid is being picked on because they arent "cool" is tough. I remember how that goes. If your the dorky kid in school everyone is gunna give you hell unless you conform to what they think is cool or just beat their ass. I wouldnt wanna tell my kids to change who they are, but i wouldnt wanna see them just deal with that torture either. I guess the best thing would be to teach him not to give a damn about what they say. If i were in ur sons shoes id get even and find a way to embarass them so bad they wanted to run away crying. But then im not gunna tell my kids to do that lol
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Dec. 21, 2013 at 3:28 AM
Well perhaps maybe he could do what i suggested. Not only does it beat violence, but maybe if he embarasses them in front of everyone they will get a taste of their own medicine n cut the shit out.

Quoting RadnRem: See, he's never had a problem with any kids before. Was even friends with one of them last year.



And I don't think he's dorky or unpopular.....but I can't say for sure. When I take him to school/class occasionally, all the kids are like "Ethan!!! Hey man, what's up!" That type of thing lol.

I don't care if he's unpopular (other than if he's picked on, ya know?) and we've made sure to tell him that these kids are just being jerks. That he's a great kid and doesn't need to change that because of a few punk asses on the bus.



He does great at ignoring them, but I think it's time for him to stand up for himself also.




Quoting Anonymous: This is a situation i still havent figured out how i would handle. Kids having a confrontation over one particular issue, i know what id do. But when the kid is being picked on because they arent "cool" is tough. I remember how that goes. If your the dorky kid in school everyone is gunna give you hell unless you conform to what they think is cool or just beat their ass. I wouldnt wanna tell my kids to change who they are, but i wouldnt wanna see them just deal with that torture either. I guess the best thing would be to teach him not to give a damn about what they say. If i were in ur sons shoes id get even and find a way to embarass them so bad they wanted to run away crying. But then im not gunna tell my kids to do that lol
SissyAnn141
by Gold Member on Dec. 21, 2013 at 3:28 AM
1 mom liked this

 

 

                Sometimes it is better to let them -HANDLE IT.

                  HOW BIG IS HE ?

                 Sometimes you just need to let ,THEM take care of it.

               Give him permission to HIT, and defend his-self.

                 The others guys will STOP.

                  Have HUBBY, show him were the Diaphragm is, and Let him get suspended, HE IS DEFENDING HIS-SELF.

RadnRem
by Gold Member on Dec. 21, 2013 at 3:29 AM
That's a good idea about approaching it that way with the bus barn. I hadn't even thought of that. Thank you!

And I did explain to him that we may need to speak to the other kids' parents or the school.

There are two elementary schools in our town. One is k-2, the other 3-5 grade. The little kids are up front and pretty loud. He says he thinks that's why the bus driver hasn't heard any of what's been going on. That.....and I swear the guy is like 70 lol. Probably a little hard of hearing.


Quoting eme20913:

i'd start with the bus driver and ask them to not make a big deal of it but to moniter the situation a little more closely? i wouldn't talk to the driver directly call the bus barn and just say your a concerned parent who is being told by their child about bullying on the bus so your son doesn't get singled out. if that does nothing you'll probably want to tell your son that you'll have to talk to parents and or the school because his saftey comes first and he shouldnt be afraid of being harrassed on the bus.

Sassy762
by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Dec. 21, 2013 at 3:29 AM

If he is adamant about not wanting you to talk to the school/bus driver....which I would do anyway just for a paper trail.  What I would do is not going to be popular but I would pay some older kids to bully those little bully brats....give them a taste of their own medicine. Or my personal favorite is to go ape shit crazy and make sure the bully kids see how crazy your child mom can be.......just a thought

Now I am going to run from your post before I get bashed, lol

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 21, 2013 at 3:31 AM
Umm... No. Don't do this

Quoting SissyAnn141:

 


 


                Sometimes it is better to let them -HANDLE IT.


                  HOW BIG IS HE ?


                 Sometimes you just need to let ,THEM take care of it.


               Give him permission to HIT, and defend his-self.


                 The others guys will STOP.


                  Have HUBBY, show him were the Diaphragm is, and Let him get suspended, HE IS DEFENDING HIS-SELF.

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