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My 7 month fight over a baby that isnt mine.....long read but good *EDIT*UPDATE 12/31

Posted by Anonymous
  • 117 Replies
UPDATE 12/31: I called his original ped. Just to make sure the doctors notes were valid. He wasn't there. I did however find out that the parents originally signed a HIPAA form! I could have conversation with his doctor plus all this time I could have taken him to the doctor! I had no idea! So I waited for a phone call back to address my concerns and ask questions only to find out they " had" to contact the parents first. Of course they removed my name. I said " well that just took away protection for the baby" The doctor apologized and told me she couldn't say anything but I could say whatever I wanted and she would def. Make note of it. After I told her everything she reassured me that she made note of everything and that if it went to court I could be summoned. I hope this helped some. It really sucks. I really wanted to know if that doctor knew he ended up in the hospital when he wrote the okay notes for him to attend daycare and if he knew of his condition before and after. Something was really fishy with the situation. With this doctor!

EDIT: I have previously called CPS. The reviewed my claim and all documents I sent. They are " ruling it out" without an investigation

Its been a loooong seven months and its probably not over.

It all started with this family I've had in my daycare for three years had their second child.Shortly after he was in my care he became sick. ( around May) Both his brother and him were sick with a cold they " caught from their cousins" I don't think he ever really recovered from his cold because from May to July he was sick off and on and kept popping fevers.

His parents did not seem so concerned. I told mom that maybe he had some infection going on. I also told her I was concerned about the following:

Not eating
Chest was rattling
Sleeping all day
and his cry went from sounding like a dog crying to him not being able to get any sound out at all!

I was told that the doctor was " called" and the baby was fine as long as he " had enough diapers" I was told he was eating a TON at home.I voiced my concerns a number of times and was told he was fine. Well unfortunately he was NOT fine.

After popping another fever ( always by noon in my home) and being sent home again he ended up in the hospital. He was in the hospital and very touch and go for four weeks! He was diagnosed with pnuemonia and another unidentified virus.

I had hoped his parents learned their lesson on being more careful. Especially now since he was weak and in a delicate state after that whole ordeal. But they were not :( He was released on a Thursday and came back to daycare the following Monday. I was kind of surprised but they told me they just wanted to " get back to life" and they were so angry that the hospital kept changing his release date.

Shortly after he returned to daycare I had a relicensing visit and inspection with my daycare licensor. She noticed the condition he was in ( very pale, weak and so forth) I explained to her what happened and how he was recovering and on many different meds ( some of which were to help him come off of the other ones he was on in the hospital....he was under almost the entire four weeks!)

She said " you better get a doctors note stating he can be back in daycare!" So I told the parents I needed this. They seemed upset but said they would get one the next week. They did but it wasn't until later when I noticed the doctor out the wrong name on the note! It read that his older brother may attend daycare....he had an appointment for another cold he came down with. We will get back to that in a minute.

Anyways he still had a rattle in his chest. Parents told me it was normal when I told them. His rattle never went was still there yesterday. He was still not eating well. Which was expected for a short while but it was a problem at home and daycare. He also became sick again.Same story of fevers popping, sleeping all day, not eating and so forth. And I got the same reply " the doctor says he is fine as long as he is having enough diapers"

I urged the parents to take him to the doctors. I really couldn't understand why they were not worried! I've had their oldest since infancy( 3 yrs) and don't remember them being so careless but he really didn't get sick much at all. I just couldn't understand. Anyways I told them at this point he has to go to the doctors! They told me he had a follow up appointment with the hospital. I told them they had to provide me with a doctors note.

They brought me the doctors note. The mom explained to me that he was underweight and the doctor instructed to up his calories with formula, have weight checks, physical therapy, appointments with a feeding clinic and developmental checks at home and daycare. She said she was putting off the developmental appointments until her husband was done with hunting (10 days) She would get back to me on fitting in the developmental appointments at daycare. I was more than willing to do this! This baby is so weak and behind from being sick all the time!

So I went to put the note ( which was actually instructions to the parents) and I noticed it had the diagnosis of " failure to thrive" He was at .5 on the growth chart. He was off the charts! I went to organise his file and that's when I notices the wrong name on the note stating he could be in daycare.

I thought omg! What if he is not supposed to be in daycare in this condition! So the next day I confronted mom on the note with the wrong name. She was speechless. Then she gave me a nervous smile and said " we are not going to that doctor anymore" I was surprised. He had been their ped for 3 yrs. Anyways I told her that I needed a new note and she says " do you REALLY need a new one?" I said yes! " especially since your son was diagnosed as " failure to thrive " She replies " he wasn't diagnosed as failure to thrive this time!" I said " this time?!?" I went and got the doctors note and pointed it out to her. She had a nervous giggle and says " oh there it is" And agreed to get a new note.

The doctors note was provided. We had a conference about the plan we had to get her baby on track with feeding, physical therapy and devopmental appointments in my home daycare. I was given exercises, tools and so forth. I told her that I would need doctors notes from his weight checks and appointments on progress and any other instructions. She agreed.

At this point he really started to progress. It was great! I called my licensor about the in home dev. Checks. She advised me to get signed release forms to have communication with the people coming to my home and the doctors giving instructions on physical therapy, feeding/ dietary needs and such to be performed by me in my home..

I made a request to the parents and the response I got was " give me your licensors name and number" in a text message. I gave them the info and requested a conference.

At the conference I started by asking why they wanted to go to my licensor first instead of coming to me with any questions or concerns. The dad spoke up and said " we are not okay with you looking at our sons medical record"

I explained to them that it was NOT my intention to look at his medical record. That legally I could not look at it anyways. I explained that I needed a release to communicate with his doctors and the people coming into my home to follow through with the medical practices performed by me in my home.

They were worried that I wanted to talk to his ped. That they left. I told them I would have no need since he doesn't see him anymore. They also told me why they weeny happy with him. They left him because " he was documenting that their son was developmentaly delayed this whole time but told them he was okay " They also said they obtained his medical record and their were " surprising things found on it"

I reassured them that I didn't want to see his med. Record and couldn't legally anyways. The mom asked me who I needed the releases for and seemed fine with it at this point. We discussed how well the baby was doing and how I was willing to do whatever it takes to get him on track.

A whole month goes by and no release forms. No doctors notes. I get notice on December 2nd ( verbally) by the father that they are leaving and he hands me a check in the exact amount for only the days that they would be attending. For three years they have been paying a monthly fee. His exact words were : ( and I'm changing the names) " The boys last day will be December 31st.This was a tough decision. Daycare was great for Ben (older son) but not so much for Danny. We are trying something new"

That was it. Awkwardness at every pick up and drop off. Mom acted like nothing happened. Like they wernt leaving. Dad couldn't even ook at me every time. No more doctors notes at all. No reason given for leaving. No real communication.The contract states that I need a one month WRITTEN notice. They didn't provide it. You would think after 3 years of all that I've ever done and was willing to do I could have at least got an explanation and a thank you? Instead I get this and btw I'm shorting you $230

I just let it go. I didn't want things to be icky for the kids. I didn't want the older one to miss out on all the Christmas fun. I wanted to give everyone time to say goodbye. CRAP! I can't see to type with the tears in my eyes! I love those kids so much! This is so hard! It is a business but its very personal! These kids spend A LOT of time with me! They love me and I can't help but love them back!

Okay to get back to what happened. The mom recently handed me a note. It listed all the days they were coming late and their " last day" that is the only word I got from her about leaving. She also wanted a receipt for Decembers payment. So I wrote it out with the balance. I explained why there was a balance but didn't ask for it. I mainly needed it for the books.I also asked for their written one month notice. They ignored it for a week until I asked for it again.

They brought it on Thursday. The mom put handed the note to me, got in my face in front of the children and another parent picking up and said " YOU KNOW IM PERFECTLY OPEN TO DISCUSSION! I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH THAT!" Then she ran out the door before I could say anything. It was really weird! She was open for discussion but ran off. The other parent just stood there with her mouth hanging open. She said she couldn't believe how she treated me.

This wasn't the first time she has been like that. She can change her mood in an instant. This is an example ( I forgot to add that we had another health issue a few weeks ago with the baby which happened to be the very day they gave notice) This is what happened:

The baby came to daycare looking kind of pale.. again. Shortly after he had a diarrhea explosion. I went to change him and his whole entire diaper area and spreading to his thighs was raw. He was bleeding in a few places. Obviously he was suck over Thanksgiving break. I took his temp. He was 99.9. I called mom, told her what happened and told her he should get his bottom checked out. She said " fine!" And hung up on me! Dad picked him up.

The next day mom drops off and acts like nothing. They are keeping baby home...he is " still red" She says they went to the doctors and was prescribed " poop goop " He was out Wednesday as well. He came back Thursday...fever and still diarrhea! I look at his butt paste... it was dated Wednesday not Monday! I thought maybe they saw doctor on Mon. And waited to pick it up. Poor baby! He was so miserable! Screaming in pain when I changed him!

I had to call them again to have him be picked up for diarrhea and fever. This time mom was fine. I told them that it concerned me that he had diarrhea so long ( he really couldn't afford to have it! He was doing better but still weak) I suggested taking him to the doctor for the diarrhea. Mom told me they took him on Wed...the day before. So she lied to me. I said okay, please provide me with a doctors note as to when it would be okay for him to come back. And they did.

So anyways getting back to This Thursday. So I read the note she gave me. The first paragraph goes into the payment part and how it wasn't in my policy to give " written notice" It is, she missed it somehow. Then it goes into how the boys do love me and they trust me but the baby isn't eating enough bottles! Which is a total surprise! Really?

We have only discussed how his eating has increased! How he has been progressing! My last doctors note reflects this! On 10/30 it states that he had a " nice increase of 30%" Never have the parents brought this up at the conference and until now. It has been the opposite! He is getting stronger, eating more and becoming more social! They have expressed their happiness with his progress at our last meeting and after!

They put in the letter " we can't be sure he will eat at another daycare but we are going to give him the chance to try"

So I made the decision to have their last day yesterday. It was so hard but for the best. With all that has happened, moms behaviour, the lies and the last letter it had to be done. I wrote a letter in response stating his progress and such and how this wasn't a concern until now and how it was their last day because of the policies they broke.

Now I wait for retaliation. The mom didn't get mad when I let her know and handed her the letter. She just went on about her baby not eating and how she " wishes we would have talked" which I really don't get. I said good-bye to the boys. I gave the older one a kiss and a hug and told him I loves him. Poor kid doesn't have a clue what is going on. And the baby waved good bye to me...something he just mastered in my daycare. He is 13 months old. I was so proud of him. He is really far behind but was really blossoming! I fear he is going to shut down.He was so comfortable in my house. Very clingy with me. Afraid of everyone else coming into the house and still a little weary of the other kids. I still couldn't leave the room without him getting upset. I know eventually he will be okay with someone else. I just fear he has taken so many steps forward and he is going to take a ton back with the change.

Thanks for reading my story

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 21, 2013 at 9:09 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 21, 2013 at 9:10 AM
Holy crap that was long!
by Gold Member on Dec. 21, 2013 at 9:17 AM
9 moms liked this

Wow.   I would alert CPS.  that poor baby

by on Dec. 21, 2013 at 9:18 AM
4 moms liked this
You need to call cps. Aren't you a mandated reporter?
by MotherDucker on Dec. 21, 2013 at 9:18 AM
1 mom liked this
You should have called cps.

And you posted this before
by Lauren on Dec. 21, 2013 at 9:19 AM

I'm so sorry. My instinct says to check up on the family. The parents scare me and I worry for the little one. I'm glad the drama has left your daycare, but you may have very well been the only one keeping that baby alive. *hugs* You did all that you could :( 

by Navy Mom on Dec. 21, 2013 at 9:20 AM

Wow, I can't imagine parents being so blaze about a baby like that.  I pray that little guy recovers and thrives...I say that, but I'm really thinking "I pray he survives."

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 21, 2013 at 9:20 AM
I did...they are " ruling it out"

Quoting Zanny:

Wow.   I would alert CPS.  that poor baby

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 21, 2013 at 9:21 AM
I did they are " ruling it out"

Quoting LAHnTAH0812: You need to call cps. Aren't you a mandated reporter?
by Gold Member on Dec. 21, 2013 at 9:22 AM
1 mom liked this

How frustrating.  I'm so sorry

by on Dec. 21, 2013 at 9:22 AM
How heart breaking. I hope they do better for the baby. How does extra diapers help? I kept reading that same line, over and over.
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