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Do you think it's cruel my SIL won't see the child she gave up for adoption?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 313 Replies

When my SIL was 14 she was raped. She didn't realize she was pregnant for a long time, and by the time it was obvious it was too late for an abortion. She gave the child up for adoption.

The child was a girl and is now 18 and named Katie. SIL got married two years ago and has a baby now. Katie tracked her down, even though SIL thought it was a closed adoption, and called her. Katie said she'd like to meet and possibly form a relationship. SIL said no thanks, she's not interested, and hung up. 

My MIL thinks she was being really cruel and that she should meet. What do you think? I'm on the fence- it would be devastating for a child who'd like to meet a bio-parents to hear that, but SIL probably just doesn't want to relive that time. 

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 21, 2013 at 4:22 PM
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Replies (1-10):
yo_ho
by Silver Member on Dec. 21, 2013 at 4:24 PM
24 moms liked this
I think if she wanted a closed adoption it should have stayed that way. I feel bad for the girl though.
Raeann11
by Ruby Member on Dec. 21, 2013 at 4:27 PM

She needs to do what is right for her. I sure it is hard for the girl but it is part of being adopted that your biological parents may never want to see you.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 21, 2013 at 4:28 PM

bump

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 21, 2013 at 4:29 PM
No. Some people just can't leave other peoples lives alone because theirs is so boring.
imthatgirl0607
by Ruby Member on Dec. 21, 2013 at 4:30 PM
9 moms liked this

I think it doesn't matter what I think. In the end it's completely up to her. If she doesn;t want a relationship with the child then she shouldn't be forced. 

Supervane
by Ruby Member on Dec. 21, 2013 at 4:30 PM
8 moms liked this
I would have at least met the child. I would think any child deserves at least that much.
ivegotrhythm
by Gold Member on Dec. 21, 2013 at 4:30 PM
10 moms liked this
As an adopted child, I believe each party has the right to refuse contact.

If my bm tried to contact me I would refuse.
jjchick75
by Gold Member on Dec. 21, 2013 at 4:31 PM
2 moms liked this
No I don't think it's cruel. I think it's a risk you take when seeking out a biological parent.
imyourPuppy
by Platinum Member on Dec. 21, 2013 at 4:31 PM
7 moms liked this
I feel sorry for the girl, but your SIL doesn't have to meet her. At the end of the day this girl is a stranger to her. She is not your SIL's DD, your SIL didn't raise her.
strictmomhere
by Ruby Member on Dec. 21, 2013 at 4:31 PM
3 moms liked this
I feel bad for the girl very mean of your SIL
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