Breaking news here, guys: Facebook is not as cool as it used to be. You hear it all the time, OMG I hate Facebook. I'm totally deleting it. Tons of people tend to blame Mark Zuckerberg or even Facebook itself. But it's time to know the truth.
Facebook is not the problem. The people on Facebook are the problem. And -- GASP! -- you may be one of them.
You're totally ruining Facebook for everybody else if ...
1. You now resort to multiple social media sites to share the same exact photo. We get it. You're in Vegas. But you don't need to tweet it, Instagram it, Facebook it, MySpace it (LOL), etc.
2. #You'reNotFoolingAnyone. Don't write #NoFilter on a photo if it clearly has a filter. Actually, don't write #NoFilter at all. How about this: If you take a picture of a beautiful sunset, I'll just believe it's real.
3. You don't realize how conceited you look. I've seen actual collages of just someone's face. A selfie collage, if you will. Remember modesty? It still exists.
4. You're a dude who takes kissy face photos in the mirror. I'm not going to elaborate on this one. It pains me.
5. You think you're famous. I don't know how this started happening but suddenly people think they're a celebrity if they have a lot of friends/followers on social media sites. Bonus points for the ones who thank their "fans" on the regular.
6. You update way too frequently. You know how you're supposed to wait at least an hour before you swim after eating a meal? Think of Facebook statuses in the same way. Please.
7. You don't update enough. Statuses like "BEST DAY EVER!!!!" are ridiculous and you know it. You want people to ask -- you're practically begging people to ask. So you might as well just tell us.
8. Your priorities are all out of whack. God forbid, you get in some sort of accident ... your first thought should NOT be, I should totally post a photo of this on Facebook.
9. You're SUCH a good person. While it's absolutely wonderful if you help the homeless, help an old lady cross the street, or donate to a charity, it IS actually possible to do it without bragging about it online. Sounds crazy, but it's true.
10. You friend people you don't even know. What the hell? Who are you? No. This is not match.com.
More from The Stir:
Do you have any annoying friends on Facebook?