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I'm never allowing my children to go back to their dads house for a holiday SECOND UPDATE

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Seriously. I don't care if he takes me to court then do be it I'll fight it until the bitter end.

My boys, ages 6, 8, and 9 had their first Christmas with dad since our divorce. I was always the main breadwinner in the marriage and still make substantially more than he does. He pays what they state requires he pay in child support, I kept our home for our children and allowed him to take any furniture he wanted plus his car and didn't even ask for reimbursement of his insurance that had been paid for the year. I even left him on my medical insurance until papers wee signed! I didn't require him to carry the boys on insurance like the state usually requires since they've always been on mine and I can afford it and know it would burden him. I have been really really nice considering he was a lazy man who had zero ambition and contributed very little to our marriage and had an affair. The child support he pays goes into an account and is being saved, it will pay for camps, first cars, college, whatever big expenses come up I'll pull from that plus my own money so they have what they need, I think that's fair. Not like I'm getting my nails done with it.

Anyway they go over last night, his new girlfriend has two little ones, below school age. This morning they get up to open gifts and my boys didn't have any! They were told that's why he pays child support and I should have sent gifts! Of course they were upset and then he wouldn't let them call home so I didn't know until I picked them up :(


This text just came in

"In the future ill expect you to coordinate Christmas gifts with me. I wont do another holiday like this. The boys acted like brats when they didnt have gifts to open and I didn't want to bad mouth you by explaining that you hadn't given me any option in what they were bought so i just explained that you get the support to take care of that and they had to bring them over if they wanted to open them here. Not trying to start a fight, I know this is new to all of us and will take time to get ironed out."

Im honestly unsure of what to even reply. Im not really confrontational and had planned not to mention anything to him to avoid a fight. Now im torn between calling and yelling at him and just screen shotting and printing this for my attorney and not even replying. WWYD?

I sent the screen shot of his text as well as a quick run down of what the boys told me when i picked them up to my attorney via email. he's not back in the office until after the new year but did shoot me back a reply saying that i should just send a text back to xh saying that child support is not meant to cover christmas gifts and that to clarify the attorney will be sending him a document on what child support is meant to be used on when he gets back in the office. he said if he remembers correctly (and this is what i had understood by looking over our agreement) the order is set up that we should split holidays and work out specifics between us with custodial parent having the final say, he says if i am reasonable about allowing them some time there for Thanksgiving, New Years, Spring Break, etc. that there is no reason they have to wake up there Christmas morning- he is going to double check and give me more specificadvise as to what i can and cannot legally do. 

the boys and myself are leaving out early tomorrow morning for a "scavenger hunt" trip. something my 9 year old suggested. they are working out their own itinerary today and making the treasure list-- im going to check it over tonight and make sure we dont end up in Canada lol. it will be a fun adventure i think and will hopefully ensure that when they look back on their first Christmas after their parent's divorce they wont remember the hurtful things first (i hope)

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 25, 2013 at 11:39 PM
Replies (501-505):
by Bronze Member on Dec. 28, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Wow. No wonder you divorced his pathetic ass.
by on Dec. 28, 2013 at 12:49 AM
1 mom liked this
Your ex sounds an awful lot like mine. I am so sorry!! My kids are mostly grown now (our youngest is almost 17, then 18, 20 & 22) and have no relationship with their father. He did the same thing to my kids every birthday & holiday. He would spend hundreds of dollars on the latest girlfriends kids, and give our kids a $25 gift certificate to the mall. There was one Christmas that he was suppose to have the kids, so I went to work early that morning. I got a call from the kids around 1pm saying Dad never showed up. I called him & he said he changed his mind & was spending Christmas with his girlfriends family instead. I was FURIOUS! My kids spent Christmas Day alone, because I had volunteered to work since they were supposed to be with him, and that way someone else could have the day off with their children. After that year, the kids refused to go with him anymore. He tried forcing them, guilt tripping them, and finally took me to court. The judge sided with my children & said they could choose whether or not they wanted to see him. They have mostly chose NOT to spend time with him. Our youngest saw him twice last year for a couple hours each time. The 3 oldest did not see him at all. I am saddened that they don't have a relationship with him, but he chose to treat them poorly. I wish you luck, because it is a hard thing to have to deal with. I've learned that kids don't need 2 parents always available if they have one strong parent who will do anything to help them through life.
by Platinum Member on Dec. 28, 2013 at 12:53 AM

Ohh man! What an ASSHOLE! I hope the stuff ur attorney slaps him with give him a huge reality check. Screw him!

by Gold Member on Dec. 28, 2013 at 6:54 AM
The best reason I have ever heard to not let them spend the night there Christmas Eve. And I am a divorce lawyer.
by Anonymous 83 on Dec. 28, 2013 at 7:09 AM
Please elaborate on this scavenger hunt thing?
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