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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I think my DD is being abused.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
My DD has always been a.sweet, outgoing, caring girl. But ever since she started dating her current boyfriend she has been a recluse almost. She bearly talks to me and when she does shes always looking away or anxious or something. Ive noticed bruises on her face but when I ask her about them she gets angry and says its nothing mom I was being clumsy. Shes been dating this new guy for about three months now and daily her whole.... everything that makes her HER is just fading. I tried talking to her and she told me shes an adult and can handle herself. She is 19 and lives with me while shes in college so I cant really force her to break up with him its not like shes 13 or something. I just miss my little girl. Does anyone know of ways I can try bringing this up without her shutting down?
Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 27, 2013 at 9:00 AM
Replies (11-20):
Blackburn3
by Bronze Member on Dec. 27, 2013 at 9:13 AM
1 mom liked this

 Hugs Mama > First off I was your dd 15 years ago and yes I was being physically abused and emotionally abused from my boyfriend at the time. I also lived with my parents and going to collage. The best advice I can give u is just be there for your dd and offer support but do not try and forbid her to see him or try to interfer to much. The last thing u want is your dd to turn away from u and run right into his arms. Now I am not saying ignore it just go slow suggest therapy. Unfortunately I had to find out myself and break up with my boyfriend and my parents did everything in their power to protect me including hiding me for three months to protect me. It worked and I realized my parents were right all along and always listened to their concerns from then on . Good Luck mama 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 27, 2013 at 9:13 AM

then you let her go, because it's HER choice, then be there later on to pick up the pieces....

Quoting Anonymous: What if she says fine ill go live with him hes 27 and has his own place

Quoting Bethsunshine:

This! Good luck!

Quoting Anonymous:

Tell her you've noticed a big change in her since the bf, and as long as she's in your house, she is to follow your house rules, which includes,  NOT seeing men who put unexplained bruises on her.  Put your foot down--you might save her life



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 27, 2013 at 9:14 AM
Yeah I think I could do that. I miss my dd so much shealways told me everything that was going on which is why I hate this

Quoting Alyssasmommy412:

Ask her flat out if he has laid his hands on her, her face will probably give it away if he has. Tell her that its not alright for anyone to put their hands on another person for any reason and if someone resorts to hitting them its not love, its them trying to be controlling. 

charleyangel317
by on Dec. 27, 2013 at 9:14 AM

Talke to her friends and see if they are noticing the same thing. Then do an intervention. My cousin was being abused by her husband and we unfortunately didn't see the signs until it was too late and he ended up killing her. The sooner you do this the better.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 27, 2013 at 9:15 AM

And, if it turns out he DID put his hands on her, how are you prepared to deal with that and help her?   

Quoting Anonymous: Yeah I think I could do that. I miss my dd so much shealways told me everything that was going on which is why I hate this

Quoting Alyssasmommy412:

Ask her flat out if he has laid his hands on her, her face will probably give it away if he has. Tell her that its not alright for anyone to put their hands on another person for any reason and if someone resorts to hitting them its not love, its them trying to be controlling. 


Bethsunshine
by on Dec. 27, 2013 at 9:16 AM

Unfortunately, I don't think there is anything legally you can do, as she is an adult. I'll be honest, if that were my daughter and her boyfriend was beating her, I'd most likely end up in jail because I would be showing up at his doorstep with a shotgun!

Quoting Anonymous: What if she says fine ill go live with him hes 27 and has his own place

Quoting Bethsunshine:

This! Good luck!

Quoting Anonymous:

Tell her you've noticed a big change in her since the bf, and as long as she's in your house, she is to follow your house rules, which includes,  NOT seeing men who put unexplained bruises on her.  Put your foot down--you might save her life



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 27, 2013 at 9:17 AM
Thank you so much I definitely do not want to chase her away

Quoting Blackburn3:

 Hugs Mama > First off I was your dd 15 years ago and yes I was being physically abused and emotionally abused from my boyfriend at the time. I also lived with my parents and going to collage. The best advice I can give u is just be there for your dd and offer support but do not try and forbid her to see him or try to interfer to much. The last thing u want is your dd to turn away from u and run right into his arms. Now I am not saying ignore it just go slow suggest therapy. Unfortunately I had to find out myself and break up with my boyfriend and my parents did everything in their power to protect me including hiding me for three months to protect me. It worked and I realized my parents were right all along and always listened to their concerns from then on . Good Luck mama 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 27, 2013 at 9:17 AM
Refrain from killing him and try talking sense into her.

Quoting Anonymous:

And, if it turns out he DID put his hands on her, how are you prepared to deal with that and help her?   

Quoting Anonymous: Yeah I think I could do that. I miss my dd so much shealways told me everything that was going on which is why I hate this



Quoting Alyssasmommy412:

Ask her flat out if he has laid his hands on her, her face will probably give it away if he has. Tell her that its not alright for anyone to put their hands on another person for any reason and if someone resorts to hitting them its not love, its them trying to be controlling. 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 27, 2013 at 9:18 AM

maybe you should encourage him to come over more so you can get to know what type of person he is...

twinmommy27
by Ruby Member on Dec. 27, 2013 at 9:18 AM
Find a domestic violence shelter and let her speak with other women...
Talk to the shelter beforehand and explain the situation.
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