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So could use some views on this situation. BM

Posted by Anonymous
  • 41 Replies

Has been very ...we will just say grumpy with DH since a few days before Christmas.  We got them the one thing all the kids asked for and have been wanting for a few years.  I saved since October for these.

When he told her what we got and she all she said was DAMN.  We made a rule that the presents stay at our house so we can try to make sure they don't get lost or broken and that the kids will have something to do at our house instead of in past when they take toys home then complain they are bored when they come over and we never see the items again.   BM didn't like this she wanted them to bring them to her house but I paid for it.  The past few nights kids called wanting to come over which is fine with us we have always told them they can come over whenever they want and they always have and BM never had a problem until now , infact she has said in the past it gives her a break sometimes. Some one had said we were brining the kids to come over, which is not what we are doing because we have always had them come over whenever we dont need to brib them in any means.    Now This is why I need other peoples views.  Are we wrong should BM be upset with us?  We just got the kids what they wanted and now we are the bad guys???

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 27, 2013 at 6:56 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by Metal Kitty on Dec. 27, 2013 at 7:01 PM
What did you get them?
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 27, 2013 at 7:06 PM
Tablets not high end ones we wanted to see how they take care of them before getting better ones.
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 27, 2013 at 7:07 PM

I can feel her pain even though you aren't intentionally trying to hurt her. My ex lives with his parents who just so happen to be wealthy. They have a pool, trampoline, HUGE playground equipment, and the list just goes on for days. Since the divorce my dd hasn't wanted anything to do with me, it has been about 10 years of this now. They've basically bought her off, she has zero interest in being here with me because I can't afford the same things. It hurts. Whether you're doing it on purpose or not it hurts.

by kid crack dealer on Dec. 27, 2013 at 7:09 PM
1 mom liked this
She needs to get over it. It's pretty normal for things to stay at the house where they were purchased. If she's so worried about it, she can get off her ass & go buy some for her house. She can get some for less than $100 each at a lot of places.
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 27, 2013 at 7:10 PM

That sucks. I totally see your side. Yet it's hard for them not to have their new tablets to play with. How about letting them take them home for a few days?

by Gold Member on Dec. 27, 2013 at 7:12 PM
I can understand you not wanting to have the presents taken over there especially if there is a history of items not coming back once they've gone over there. Just let her know based on before you aren't letting the presents go over there so can be mad but it isn't your job to provide things for her kids to do when they are with her.
by Platinum Member on Dec. 27, 2013 at 7:12 PM
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 When my stepkids were younger we would let them take their Christmas presents to their moms. The gifts were theirs. The exceptions were things that were a gift for the whole family like a video game system, trampoline..etc. The rules were the same no matter where they were with the gift. If it got broken or lost it wouldn't automatically be replaced. Somethings they chose to leave at our house, some they took to their moms.

by Ruby Member on Dec. 27, 2013 at 7:30 PM
Things bought for the skids here stay here. One kid's primary home is here and the other's isn't. But it's still their home too. They need bedrooms, clothing, toys, etc. here just the same.

And for sure nothing breakable/expensive would ever go to BM's house.
by Platinum Member on Dec. 27, 2013 at 7:38 PM

If I had step kids, I'd have the same rule.

by on Dec. 27, 2013 at 7:42 PM

No, your not a bad guy but I do understand her being upset.  It sucks not to be able to do for your kids whatr someone else can.  I would stick to your decision but try to be a little understanding as to why she feels the way she does.  

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