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Is it unreasonable that I'm uncomfortable with my SD sleeping at her boyfriend's?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 291 Replies

My SD is 22 and has moved back in with us while she's apartment hunting with friends. She contributes $100/month for rent and groceries. She's had a boyfriend for 6 months and spends probably 4 nights a week at his house. 

My DH has no problem with it- he doesn't bat an eyelash when she texts him and says that she's sleeping at his house and not coming home. Maybe I was just raised in a different time, but I would have NEVER told my father I was sleeping at my boyfriend's with him. DH and I have a 12 and 8 year old daughter and I feel it sets a bad example for them. I told him I'd never be cool with them sleeping with some boy they'd been dating for only 6 months and being casual in telling me about it. He looked at me like I was crazy and said "she's an adult, this is temporary, what do you want me to do?"

Is it unreasonable to tell her that while she lives here, I want her to sleep here at least 5 nights a week? Her sisters have caught onto the fact that she's at his house, sleeping there so often, and I don't like that example at all?

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 28, 2013 at 1:07 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 28, 2013 at 1:09 PM
82 moms liked this

Extremely unreasonable. She's an adult, paying rent. It's none of your business where she's sleeping or with who she's sleeping or how long they've been dating, especially since her own father has no problem with it. 

It's not her job to parent your younger kids for you. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 28, 2013 at 1:09 PM
No. It's not reasonable at all. She is an adult AND paying rent.
twade26
by Gold Member on Dec. 28, 2013 at 1:09 PM

LOL she is 22 years old. Get over it.

SamanthaStetka
by on Dec. 28, 2013 at 1:09 PM
2 moms liked this

Well she is an adult. You can feel uncomforatble, you just can't do anything about it.



LoveMeChain
by on Dec. 28, 2013 at 1:09 PM
1 mom liked this

She's 22... I understand you are leery about it, but she's an adult. You're okay with her ability to legally drive, drink and smoke but not stay at her bf's house?

aidyns_mommy
by Platinum Member on Dec. 28, 2013 at 1:09 PM
Yes, unreasonable. How would your 12 & 8 year old know where she is?
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 28, 2013 at 1:10 PM

im 22 with 2 kids lol she is a adult !!!

Not_A_Native
by Platinum Member on Dec. 28, 2013 at 1:11 PM
7 moms liked this

I would have no problem with it either.

My kids are 19, 20, 23, and 31.

At 20, my 23 year old was basically moved in at her boyfriends during summer breaks from college.  My husband was upset (didn't care for the boyfriend all that much) - but I told him, let her be, and the relationship will fizzle out - it did.  My 20 year old is dating a guy at college (250 miles from here), and frequently sleeps at his apartment.  Again - I'm ok with it, what exactly would I do to stop it?

They are adults.  They have sex lives.  Making her sneak around at the age of 22 is just stupid.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 28, 2013 at 1:11 PM
1 mom liked this

She is an adult that pays rent,  it's none of your business what she does in her down time!

LoveNaCupcake
by Gold Member on Dec. 28, 2013 at 1:11 PM

Sorry hun but she is an adult, she is paying rent and it's quite unreasonable for you to tell an adult that they cannot sleep with her bf.

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