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S/O why is porn or cheating the only option?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 367 Replies
54 moms liked this
Anytime someone complains about porn there are always people saying "I'd rather him be home looking at some porn then out cheating"

My question is why does it have to be one way or the other? You are either supposed to be accepting of cheating or happy he's just watching porn.

Can't there be a third option of just having a husband who is content with you and values and respects just you? Why is that ridiculous?

People say that men have urges or are wired different. So what?! Just because they think a little different to they can't be expected to have self control? That would be like a man saying that women by nature are wired to be nurtures and expecting them to wait on them hand and foot and keep popping out kids. Just because women are typically more nurturing doesn't mean we should have kids until our uterus falls out and just because men are always horny doesn't mean they need their hand glued to their crotch.

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 29, 2013 at 9:05 AM
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Replies (1-10):
polkaspots
by Ruby Member on Dec. 29, 2013 at 9:11 AM
I don't know why people say that. I don't have any issues with porn. DH doesn't watch porn anymore though.
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Aujonfire
by on Dec. 29, 2013 at 9:12 AM
Agreed!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 29, 2013 at 9:13 AM
1 mom liked this
I don't have huge issues with it even though I don't care for it. But I find that to be a crazy mentality that you have to be ok with one or the other

Quoting polkaspots: I don't know why people say that. I don't have any issues with porn. DH doesn't watch porn anymore though.
polkaspots
by Ruby Member on Dec. 29, 2013 at 9:17 AM
2 moms liked this
I agree. That whole subject of porn is something that should be discussed while you're dating. It's not something that anyone has to accept. If you're not okay with your partner watching porn, they shouldn't be watching porn. That's something you agree on early in the relationship to avoid drama over stupidity.

Quoting Anonymous: I don't have huge issues with it even though I don't care for it. But I find that to be a crazy mentality that you have to be ok with one or the other



Quoting polkaspots: I don't know why people say that. I don't have any issues with porn. DH doesn't watch porn anymore though.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 29, 2013 at 9:36 AM
2 moms liked this

I've never seen the connection between the two- cheating and porn. Statistically speaking, someone who is obsessing over porn and fantasies eventually gets tired of it and acts out....so I don't see how anyone can argue that porn keeps the man home. 

I don't have a problem with porn, really. I do my own porn things from time to time. He's never done it so often or so obviously that it's been a problem in our relationship, and has never complained about my private time either. 

If you have a big problem with porn for whatever reason, I think that's gotta be talked about before you marry the dude. You need to let him know that you will tolerate no mistakes or curiosities. He NEEDS to know that you tolerate NO PORN WHATSOEVER. Spend a LONG time living with him. Make clear BEFORE you marry him that you are willing to end a marriage over it. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 29, 2013 at 9:41 AM
5 moms liked this
I find it so irritating that men can't be expected to rise above their biological programming but women can.

If a woman had 6 kids and was trying for a 7th people would roll eyes etc, if we used the excuse that we are programmed to want to carry and nurture babies we would be told to come out of the 1950s already
mommie2madison
by on Dec. 29, 2013 at 9:42 AM
10 moms liked this
I look at it like this... If you dont like porn - dont watch it. To impose that dislike onto others - is inappropriate & controlling.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 29, 2013 at 9:45 AM
2 moms liked this
I agree however if the person states in the beginning that they don't watch it or don't like it but are lying then that is a problem they created they should have been honest about it

Quoting mommie2madison: I look at it like this... If you dont like porn - dont watch it. To impose that dislike onto others - is inappropriate & controlling.
Blooming_Lotus
by Platinum Member on Dec. 29, 2013 at 9:48 AM
9 moms liked this
We agreed in the very beginning that porn, strip clubs, etc. would not have any part in our marriage. We both felt it was unethical and disrespectful. I expect him to honor his vows and if he doesn't he can do those things in a different relationship. I will not compromise my values.
jjames1990
by on Dec. 29, 2013 at 9:48 AM
4 moms liked this

DH and I both established early on in our dating, we both like porn, we are opposed to cheating.  Works for us.

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