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MIL trying to buy love!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 15 Replies

We went over a year without seeing or speaking to MIL because of her actions. About a week before christmas, we decided to try to work things out for the kids sake. All was going relatively well.

Yesterday, my daughter(9) said "Hey mom, nana spent $100 on each of us for christmas, thats ALOT of money!!" and then I fussed at her for asking people how much they spent on her, because that is so rude. She said "I did not ask her, she just told me." So, MIL was bragging about how much she spent on our kids...nice. I guess this just bothers me because she's always tried to compete or "out do" the other grandparents in our kids lives (My mom, the lady who raised DH, he calls her mom, kids call her gma). I just found it so tactless and trashy that she was trying to say "I love you more because I spent XXX amount of money on you". I'm just assuming this because that is how she has always been with my husband...'Look I spent money on you, so even though I'm a shitty person otherwise, that means I love you!"

So, would it bother you if a grandparent or anyone else bragged to your kids about how much they spent on them for Christmas? Or am I just overreacting?

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 30, 2013 at 10:24 AM
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Replies (1-10):
lucky2Beeme
by Emerald Member on Dec. 30, 2013 at 10:30 AM
1 mom liked this

because you didnt hear the conversation I think maybe over reacting. I'm not sure why she gave the amount spent but its tacky in my opinion. You can't change people so accept her and her faults. your child will figure out MIL on her own.

strictmomhere
by Ruby Member on Dec. 30, 2013 at 10:32 AM
It would not bother me maybe she was just excited:)
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Sun5hine
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 10:32 AM

I absolutely approve of being loved via money, its my familys love language and we always have a Merry Christmas!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 30, 2013 at 10:33 AM

Either you (and your husband) are raising your children to value actions over materialism or you aren't. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 30, 2013 at 10:51 AM

lol My dad did the same with me growing up, gave me money to make up for his abscence. I felt it was a fair trade :) But he never bragged or anything..it was like our unsaid agreement...MIL will go on and on about how much she spends and when it comes to DH and I, we are forever indebted to her $20 gifts!

Quoting Sun5hine:

I absolutely approve of being loved via money, its my familys love language and we always have a Merry Christmas!


Jessy613
by Diamond Member on Dec. 30, 2013 at 10:52 AM

this

Quoting strictmomhere: It would not bother me maybe she was just excited:)


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 30, 2013 at 10:54 AM

Maybe. I was pretty excited christmas morning, but did not spout off the price tag of everything though. 

Quoting strictmomhere: It would not bother me maybe she was just excited:)


2kids2dogs2cats
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 10:57 AM

I agree just let it go.

You didn't say if she was better in the other ways that made her cut you off.  You didn't observe the conversation, so if things are going okay at them moment, just keep her at arm's length and be polite.

OwlNuggets
by HAIL NUGGY! on Dec. 30, 2013 at 10:59 AM

That's very sad.

I am watching a family member who was a poor parent to her children who are now grown and into some serious legal trouble struggle with making ammends to them...though, it's already too late.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 30, 2013 at 10:59 AM

I think you're being ridiculous.

My mother send my kids 100 dollars cash every xmas. So they know exactly what she "spend" on them....no one thinks shes trying to "buy their love" or that she might "love them more"

You're making a mountain out of a mole hill.

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