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When is ENOUGH, ENOUGH?!?!?!?! (probably way to long but please help!! )

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 34 Replies

UGHH where do I begin?? I met my husband at the age of 17. It was the night of Senior prom and he was my friends boyfriends friend. but thats besides the point. He told me he had time hanging over his head and that he would probably go to jail which he a month and half into our relationship..(1st problem i was 17 never should have stayed but i did and my mom took me to visitaion since i was under age).. Anywho.he was out 3 months later and living at my parents house he had a job so did I he completed his probation and his classes got his GED... 1 year later we had a baby and 2 years later we got married. HIS PARENTS HAVE NEVER REALLY BEEN THERE FOR HIM. WHEN WE MET HIS MOM WAS IN JAIL. HIS DAD WAS LIVING IN A TRUCK AND HE WAS LIVING WITH HIS FRIEND. HIS PARENTS NEVER HAVE MONEY THEY LIVE OFF OF THE GOVERMENT.

So here we are 20 and 22 with a 1 year old, married - fighting all the time me feeling worthless, resinting him for everything because he was a horrible dad unless it was convienent for him. I started talking to an old friend and almost cheated on my husband. My husband found out and of course it was a huge fight how I was such a horrible person. I felt horrible, I felt like eveything he was calling me and saying to me. About 2 weeks later we tried working on everything we were doing great...

4 years later we have 2 kids and are still married... We fight every few weeks. its horrible. Everytime we visit his parents we have to buy everything because they never have money. They use all of his dads disability for beer and pills and cat food and use the Food Stamps for food. the only way my kids get anytype of present is if its from the dollar store, the consignment shop, or if its food bought with the food stamps... I DO NOT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH CONSIGNMENT SHOPS OR USE TOYS OR CLOTHES BUT DAMN THEY ARE YOUR ONLY GRAND KIDS ...

Anyways when is enough enough. when is it time to draw the line. when is it time to throw in the towel. Its not like we have money to pay their way as well as our own. WE LIVE AT MY PARENTS HOUSE. we have tried counseling . it always comes back to me trying to cheat on him. Im tired of fighting im tired of not being 100% happy and he doesnt get it. everytime i say something about it he trys to be the best husband and it last from anywhere to 2 days to 2 weeks and then were back to fighting. HELP ME!!!

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 30, 2013 at 10:40 AM
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Replies (1-10):
lucky2Beeme
by Emerald Member on Dec. 30, 2013 at 10:44 AM
1 mom liked this

Only you can decide when enough is enough. You need to make 2 list WHY you'd be better off with him  and Why you'd be better off alone. Then look at the lists and decide. Remember even if you arent together he is still the childrens father and will always be part of your life.

2kids2dogs2cats
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 10:44 AM
2 moms liked this

I don't think you have tried the counseling long enough, considering the way he was raised, it is going to take more therapy, the bottom line is you didn't cheat, so he has to be able to let that go.  I say give it 3 full months of weekly counseling and see where that takes you.  I am sorry you are going through this, but the last thing you need is to get involved in another relationship. 

beans13
by Gold Member on Dec. 30, 2013 at 10:45 AM
1 mom liked this
If you left him you wouldn't be any worse off. You may be happier. You could figure it out on your own. Since you are already at your parents house.

However, that could be part of the problem. You guys have never been a real family living independently. Why have you not done that? I know it can be a struggle but you have had years and years together and still live at home. I don't know any couple that would be happy like that.

You need to make some decisions.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 30, 2013 at 10:47 AM
Quoting 2kids2dogs2cats:

I don't think you have tried the counseling long enough, considering the way he was raised, it is going to take more therapy, the bottom line is you didn't cheat, so he has to be able to let that go.  I say give it 3 full months of weekly counseling and see where that takes you.  I am sorry you are going through this, but the last thing you need is to get involved in another relationship. 

We went to counseling for 6 months straight by the time we stopped we were doing great we had moved into our own apartment. do to new bills that came in because our cars were dead we moved back in with my parents so we could afford a new car with payments

2kids2dogs2cats
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 10:49 AM
1 mom liked this

Well then formulate some sort of plan to get back out on your own, I think you have 2 kids and he has done very well before, I wouldn't want to live with my inlaws either, good luck!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 30, 2013 at 10:49 AM
1 mom liked this

We went to counseling for 6 months straight i should have put this in the original post. we moved into an apartment when we finished counseling that when i got pregnant with baby number 2 i wrecked his truck and my car had basically died. so we moved back home to my parents so we could save money for our second son and a new car with payments

Quoting beans13: If you left him you wouldn't be any worse off. You may be happier. You could figure it out on your own. Since you are already at your parents house.

However, that could be part of the problem. You guys have never been a real family living independently. Why have you not done that? I know it can be a struggle but you have had years and years together and still live at home. I don't know any couple that would be happy like that.

You need to make some decisions.


LoveNaCupcake
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 10:50 AM

Sit down, make a list, look at the list, determine if you're willing to spend another year, 2 years, 10 years etc. living that way.

Only you know when enough is enough.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 30, 2013 at 12:23 PM

bump

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 30, 2013 at 12:23 PM

bump

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 30, 2013 at 12:23 PM

bump

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