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Ummm...tell me again why I shouldn't spank

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 74 Replies
1 mom liked this
My 3.5 year old son has been acting up just to get a rise out of people. Take last night, for example. We went to my moms for a late Christmas get together. My son decided to randomly toss presents around, pull pieces of tissue paper from gift bags or just ruffled it until someone got on to him. When he ate, he used his fork to flick his food around....At home he will look for objects neatly organized in containers and tosses them around one at a time. He jumps around on furniture, goes to his big sister's room and automatically attempt to destroy it, throws his body on people or will lie back and lightly kick them, lets out loud screams just because, etc. It's just little obnoxious things all day. I attempt to teach him to do better, but he obviously doesn't care.

Time outs just seem pathetic. I feel like he needs more serious consequences before he has any motivation to change. I have spanked my kids, but not much because I'm so conflicted on whether I should. So remind me why I shouldn't, because I really want to smack him.
Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 30, 2013 at 11:39 AM
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Replies (1-10):
cymkare
by Platinum Member on Dec. 30, 2013 at 11:41 AM
8 moms liked this

I can't help. I don't see anything wrong with a occasional spanking. 

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OwlNuggets
by HAIL NUGGY! on Dec. 30, 2013 at 11:41 AM

I'm not 100% sure what spanking teaches a kid.

You be bad, and I'll smack your butt?

I'm not against it, but it does seem like it's ineffective when removing them from the situation and punishing them with boredom for a few minutes followed by a stern discussion seems to work just as well for me.

I've never had time-out not be an effective tool of discipline but my version of time-out is pretty "rough" anyway. Your nose has to touch the dot in the corner. 1 minute for every year old you are.

For my daughter, that's 6 minutes of nose time.

She rarely gets in trouble these days anymore.



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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 30, 2013 at 11:50 AM
The nose on the dot thing. I feel like that can cause temper issues because the child doesn't have control of their own body.

Spanking teaches consequences. If you touch the stove it hurts. If you slap your almost three month old sister, you get popped on the butt and that hurts. I'm not saying hitting the child hard, i'm saying just to get their attention about the bad behaviour.

Time outs are the first thing we do in our house. he goes to his room for a few minutes and then when he comes out if he does it again he gets popped on the butt.
CoolRelax
by Platinum Member on Dec. 30, 2013 at 11:59 AM
1 mom liked this

I've got nothing.  There are a few women on this site that I respect who don't spank - hopefully one of them comes in here with some help.  But personally, I've got a line, and when my kids cross it I won't hesitate to put a foot in their ass (not literally). 

JessMc33
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 12:04 PM
6 moms liked this
Spanking is a short term solution. It does not teach emotional regulation, in fact it does the opposite. It teaches children that when they feel upset hitting is the answer. Also, it is a domineering abuse of authority. Remember when people would say pick on someone your own size? Children need to feel safe and loved, not afraid.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 30, 2013 at 12:09 PM
I rarely spank my kids too. Usually timeout works just as well. However, if timeout is just not getting through, I spank and send them back into timeout. They calm themselves down, come apologize, and then behave. (Yes, I let the kids decide how long to stay in timeout most of the time. I decided once they can say "no, I am not ready to come out yet" they understand the idea of it.)
plumbobtoggle
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 12:12 PM
1 mom liked this

I don't condemn parents for spanking, but I honestly don't understand it. If your employee does something out of line at work, you can't just hit them. That's assault! If you're taking care of a mentally disabled adult with the mind of a three year old and hit them to get them to behave, that's abuse. So why do we hit our kids to teach them a lesson? My ex spanked my DD once. Later she came to me and said "Why did he hit me? I don't hit him when he makes me mad."

Gypsy.Scribe
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 12:12 PM

Time outs may seem pathetic to you, but they work quite well for us. There are also more discipline methods than time outs and spanking, maybe try looking some of those up?

Caera
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 12:15 PM
2 moms liked this

Sounds like he needs a good smack, no reason to not.

He knows exactly what he's doing.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Dec. 30, 2013 at 12:16 PM
Because it's inflicting pain on your child

It teaches them to be afraid not respectful

Kids act out what they experience next time they are upset they may end up hitting another child or caretaker because they are upset
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