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sperm donor hates our baby

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 27 Replies

My sperm donor hasn't been in the picture ever since I found out he cheated on me. At the time I was 16 weeks pregnant. I never heard from him again. I gave birth two weeks ago at 40 weeks and 4 days pregnant. 

I have a beautiful babygirl now and I love her to death! She is two weeks old today. Her father hasn't been informed yet and I am planning on writing him an email today. For months I was angry and I resented him. I promised myself I would never speak to him again after what he did to me but now that she's been born I no longer feel this way. I think I've matured. I am now grateful that he gave me this bundle of joy and I want to share her wih him although I don't think he deserves it, SHE deserves to have somewhat of a relationship with him. I don't want him to miss out on our babygirl, shes amazing! 

I have no idea how to start the email. The last time we spoke was in June and we were calling eachother all kinds of names. I have a lot of pictures I want to send him as well. I am not sure if he's even interested in our daughter because he hasn't seeked contact with me once and he knows shes born by now because my official due date was on the 12th but she was born on the 16th. 

It took me two weeks to decide if I was going to inform him or not and whether I was going to let him into our lives. Cheating isn't the only thing he did but I am not going to get into that. Would you write him an email if you were me? would you perhaps call him? What would you write in the email and how? I want to keep it as casual as possible and I don't want to mention the past.

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 30, 2013 at 2:57 PM
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Replies (1-10):
polkaspots
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 3:02 PM
I wouldn't contact him at all. I didn't when my dd was born. He was in and out for the First year and a half of her life and then just stopped. We see him once or twice a year now.
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CuriousArentYa
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 3:02 PM

I would just write something like "She's here! I would like for you to have relationship with her, please feel free to contact me anytime to set up a meeting." and enclose some pictures. 

thenameshailie
by Emerald Member on Dec. 30, 2013 at 3:04 PM
8 moms liked this
send him notice via child support papers.
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Mena929
by Gold Member on Dec. 30, 2013 at 3:05 PM

Hey ____,


Writing to you to let you know that I had our daughter. She is amazing. I hope that you want a relationship with her as well. She deserves it. Please call me.

Sincerely,

Me.

ARACMOM
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 3:07 PM
I would feel obligated to let him know, that way you can tell her that you did everything you could when she is older and starts asking.
Jessy76
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 3:09 PM

Short sweet and to the point. I would tell him hey our daughter was born on this day, her name is this and if you want a relationshipp with her this is how you can contact me. I wouldn't give him anything else or try any harder than that. If he wants to know her he will make the effort. Plus this way you can print a copy of the e-mail and save it so in the years to come when she asked you can prove you tried.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 30, 2013 at 3:09 PM

Get those annoucment things printed and mail him one.

whoslifeanyway
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 3:11 PM
This is what I was thinking!

Quoting thenameshailie: send him notice via child support papers.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 30, 2013 at 3:12 PM
1 mom liked this

If the things he did to you in the past that you don't want to mention include abuse, I wouldn't tell him.

elizabooks
by Gold Member on Dec. 30, 2013 at 3:13 PM
Dear _________
I had your daughter on the 16th. Her weiht/height are ______.
I've included some photos. Please contact me to set up a meeting . Bring medical history.
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