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How do you put your foot down with the MIL without your DH thinking you're being a b**** to his mom?

Posted by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 4:16 PM
  • 22 Replies
I'm not a very confrontational person, but lately my MIL has been seriously grating on my nerves. I want to put her in her place but I'm not very tactful and I don't want my DH to think I'm being a b*tch to his mom.

Two examples over the holiday and my DD's birthday:

At my DD's birthday party on Dec. 20, my MIL & FIL arrived last. MIL says her invitation said 6:30....hmmm. The party was supposed to be at 6:00 so everyone was waiting on them to arrive before we started. Then, when they arrive, MIL proceeds to "take charge" and ask everyone if they are ready to open presents when my plan was to have cake first. I don't know who she thinks she is. I just said, "well, actually, I was planning on us having cake and ice cream first."
Then at Christmas with MIL, she proceeds to open a gift for my DD that is from someone else without even telling DD that she was opening it. I didn't know she was opening it either until she held the gift up and showed DD.
My MIL is a 53 year old Kindergarten teacher. She comes across as bossy. When I first met her, I never
saw these things. It only hit me after we had kids.
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 4:16 PM
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Replies (1-10):
SouthernBiscuit
by Member on Dec. 30, 2013 at 4:31 PM
How would you handle a bossy MIL?
MrsDavidB25
by Stacey on Dec. 30, 2013 at 4:37 PM

 Alright so your MIL is bossy. Lots are. I don't see what she did as too terrible so I would pick my battles and leave this one alone.

Loveavision
by Gold Member on Dec. 30, 2013 at 4:43 PM
2 moms liked this
I think you should be glad those are your biggest MIL issues.
LyTe684
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 4:45 PM
1 mom liked this
Tell your husband that she is overstepping boundaries, and if it continues he needs to say something. If he choses not to, you will.

Superlaura328
by Platinum Member on Dec. 30, 2013 at 4:46 PM

Yikes. I've never had to put my foot down - my MIL is quite awesome, actually - so I have no advice. :( Good luck, though!

And dat biscuit, tho... mmmmmm.

scarletmeshell
by Platinum Member on Dec. 30, 2013 at 4:48 PM

Does your husband think there is a problem?

hisgirl616
by Platinum Member on Dec. 30, 2013 at 4:50 PM
This. It seems pretty mild. I could tell you some mil stories!

Quoting Loveavision: I think you should be glad those are your biggest MIL issues.
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Bethsunshine
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 4:51 PM
1 mom liked this

This. I  had issues with my MIL when my kids were babies and I told my husband he needed to tell her with love and respect to BACK OFF or I was going to. He did and life has been much better since! I love my MIL now. She gets on my nerves every now and then but who doesn't?

Quoting LyTe684: Tell your husband that she is overstepping boundaries, and if it continues he needs to say something. If he choses not to, you will.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Dec. 30, 2013 at 4:52 PM

When she arrives and tries to take over tell her to sit down and just look pretty and that you got this. Just kidding or am I? LOL

PeppermintyTea
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 4:53 PM
2 moms liked this
I had to start sticking up for myself in front of MIL because when I was a push-over she had the type of personality that would roll right over anyone willing to let her. It's just the type of woman she is - she's been a teacher for 40 years also, and FIL pretty much just kisses her butt all day long so she's used to getting her way. Anyway once I started respectfully saying what I felt, and what was going to happen for my children she backed down. I can tell she doesn't like it most of the time, but I don't say it rudely so she can't really push it further either. DH doesn't have to be put in the middle now because I'm no longer upset feeling like something was forced on me when I didn't want it to be.
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