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My 14 Year Old Smoked Marijuana---Is this a just punishment?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
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1 mom liked this

Ok, so the day after Christmas, my sister called me (a tad excited) to tell me that my son and her step son had smoked marijuana at my house when he spent the night. My son had taken a bit of it from my father, who uses it medicinally, he has cancer. They looked up how to smoke it online and smoked it out of a pop can. I do NOT keep it in my house and I do not smoke it, although, I did five years ago to help with pain after a very serious accident which caused life threatening injuries. So I know that it does have medicinal uses, but do not advocate using it for fun.

I was furious! First, he had to call and tell his grandfather what he did and apologize, he had to call my sister and BIL to apologize, he had to apologize to his grandmother for creating tension at Christmas (she knew before I did), he had to apologize to his brother for putting our family at risk and he had to apologize to my husband and me. He has lost access to his cell phone, his new Xbox One, and his new tablet. He is grounded from his room, he is only allowed in it to sleep at night, he was sick a couple of days ago and had to lie down on the couch instead of his bed. He is doing extra chores, no real down time. He is also going to write a paper about the dangers of marijuana use during the teen years, I wrote down the sections it will contain and a minimum number of pages per section. We are not going to the NYE party we were planning on going to because I do not feel that he deserves to go to a party. I also ordered THC test strips, and he knows I have them now, he actually thanked me for that because he said that knowing I have them will give him an "out" if he is offered any in the future, "No thanks, but my mom is crazy and tests me".

My mother thinks that I am being too tough, but then again, my brother was arrested for numerous things as a teen and was never really punished, he has also been arrested as an adult and still can't get a driver's license at 35. His daughter was never really punished for underage drinking or marijuana use and she is the kid who dropped out of high school at 14 and is now trying to make up for it at 17. My sister put up a good act about being tough on her step son, but he is still going on a planned snowboarding trip with his brother who is in town, he went with the family to the movies and will be attending the party. I think she is being too easy...oh, and it wasn't his first or even his second time doing it!

In our home I let a lot of things slide, my kids have more "toys" than others, they are not punished for little things, but I do take drugs and grades very seriously and I am trying to convey that with this.

So...do you think I am going too far? Not far enough? What would you do?

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 30, 2013 at 5:33 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 30, 2013 at 5:35 PM
1 mom liked this
Get it mama! Its a very fair punishment!
imakehimscream
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 5:36 PM
That sounds Fair
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 30, 2013 at 5:37 PM
1 mom liked this

Thank you. It sucks though, I honestly would love to just give him a big hug and say, "Eh, just don't do it again" and let it all be over.  I did hug him and told him that I love him, always will, but he did a very stupid thing and has to suffer the consequences. I hate punishing my kids!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 30, 2013 at 5:37 PM
1 mom liked this
Yea a tad over kill. But not my kid.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Dec. 30, 2013 at 5:37 PM

yeah if my dd 14 did that she wouldnt be leaving the house except for school & church.

MilkLover0203
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 5:38 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm staying out of this one.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 30, 2013 at 5:39 PM

So, how long on the grounding...opinions?

We are still not sure as to the length of grounding, so far, we only know for sure that it will last as long as Christmas break, but we are still trying to figure out how long after that or if that is enough.

I really want this to be a first and last time.

lillettemomma
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 5:39 PM
Personally I think yes but again as I have said I come from a liberal upbringing and at 14 I was allowed to drink as long as I was home and with a parent..... personally I feel pot isn't a big deal
TatyBear
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 5:39 PM
Overkill to me.

But if it was my 14 yr old I wouldn't punish. I'm not against pot.
Decemberlov
by Gold Member on Dec. 30, 2013 at 5:39 PM
im not sure I would punish him but rather take the time to talk with him about it. why did he want to try it? etc.

I haven't been there yet so I really can't say for sure how I would handle it but however I do I want my children to be able to come to me openly and discuss these sort of things rather than feel like they have to sneak around and hide it from me.

sorry I'm not much of a help...Im all for legalizing it.

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