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Pregnant with fourth. Lost and Emotional

Posted by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 10:39 PM
  • 23 Replies
Let's see if I can wipe the tears from eyes long enough to post this. I am a 27 year old mom of 3, ages 7,4, and 2. I just found out I am expecting again. I went to the Dr today after having pain and was told my Mirena device was dis-lodged and I was pregnant. Guessing 6weeks. Sono in 2 weeks. I am devastated. I am content with my family of 5. We have cars that fit 5. We have a small house that barely fits 5. DH wants the baby, I'm not sure I could handle another physically or mentally. I am considering having "The" procedure. I never thought I would say that. I am completely torn. My kids now deserve a good life and a happy mom. What if this takes away from them? What is this baby is a missing piece of our family? How can I be so selfish and consider aborting? Don't I love my own baby? What would we do space and finance-wise with a fourth? We would have to move and we have no money. What if the complications from the mirena cause a miscarriage later on? I should also add I know I shouldn't care what people think.... But my inlaws and even my own parents are not supportive. They were actually furious when we announced baby #3 (planned). They will flip. My dad actually asked me after the 3rd to not have anymore because THEY couldn't handle it. (They do not help, no babysitting, not financially, nothing!! ugh! ). I am a train wreck. Hubby said "we'll do whatever you decide, you always do whats best for the family.". So ... Yeah. No pressure.

Any advice or similar situations? I'd love any feedback :-(
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 10:39 PM
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Replies (1-10):
TexTornado
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 10:45 PM

Tough situation mama.  You will make the right decision for your family.  I don't think #4 will be as big of a burden as you think.  You're just overwhelmed right now.  Give it a week or so. 

TwoLittleFrogs
by Bronze Member on Dec. 30, 2013 at 10:46 PM

Keep your baby. You can make do with the house you have. I understand this one was not planned, but every baby is a blessing. I will pray that you find peace with your pregnancy.

tansydreams
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 10:46 PM

Hugs mama.  It's time to look for guidance, here, through prayer or meditation, maybe even a family planning counselor.  You have a bit of time to decide, and whatever you decide keep your chin up.  Tell your family to be supportive or stfu.  You were responsible and the device you paid for and trusted failed.  This is not your fault.

Big hugs!

Smokeygirl
by Gold Member on Dec. 30, 2013 at 10:49 PM
I *personally* could never have an abortion, for any reason. I have faith that things will work out. I have been lucky to not be put in that position though. I hope that you come to a decision that works for you and your family.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Dec. 30, 2013 at 10:53 PM
2 moms liked this

I've had an abortion for the exact same reasons your considering, "can you handle it" will him or her away from your kids you have now", and there isn't honestly a week that goes by that I don't think about my baby that should be here now. Its not worth it, just have him or her. A way will be made. 

That was more than nine years ago, never got over it and I never will. 

ImNotKarl
by Also Not Paul on Dec. 30, 2013 at 10:54 PM

I personally couldn't abort. No judgement on women who can and do, but I couldn't do it when it came down to it. I'd find a way to make it work for my family. I only have 2, and I don't want any more at all, so if my Mirena failed I would be in your shoes, I've been there before with my daughter. It sucks. Good luck, and make sure that whichever choice you make, you can let go of any regrets and resentment.

Ask me how you can be of at least average intelligence!

Kaybean
by Ruby Member on Dec. 30, 2013 at 10:54 PM
The baby is coming for a reason. When you have it, you won't be able to imagine life without it.
RiverMomster
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 10:55 PM
Thank you so much for sharing *hugs hugs hugs* to you.

Quoting Anonymous:

I've had an abortion for the exact same reasons your considering, "can you handle it" will him or her away from your kids you have now", and there isn't honestly a week that goes by that I don't think about my baby that should be here now. Its not worth it, just have him or her. A way will be made. 

That was more than nine years ago, never got over it and I never will. 

ame85
by Chemistry cat on Dec. 30, 2013 at 10:56 PM
Hugs. If you have any doubt, don't go through with it. You have time to think about your options. Good luck.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Dec. 30, 2013 at 10:57 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting RiverMomster: Thank you so much for sharing *hugs hugs hugs* to you.

Quoting Anonymous:

I've had an abortion for the exact same reasons your considering, "can you handle it" will him or her away from your kids you have now", and there isn't honestly a week that goes by that I don't think about my baby that should be here now. Its not worth it, just have him or her. A way will be made. 

That was more than nine years ago, never got over it and I never will. 

Reading your post actually has me in tears, I was young then too, I wish I could be in your position to choose to have him or her. 

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