after 10 years im sick of it. im pissed at myself for wasting so long on a man who claims he wants to be with me forever but for whatever reason refuses to make it official.
i feel like ive settled. i feel like its all my fault. and now im stuck. we have kids together. itd be stupid to leave right now. but im tired of being the cum bucket that cleans the house, cooks him dinner, raises our kids, and everything else...when he cant even marry me.
he doesnt even have a good reason for not proposing. before it was "were too young" and now its "i want to wait until we can afford a nice big wedding". i dont want a big wedding. and he never did either. until now. both of our families are filled with drama. i dont want to be stressed on our wedding day.
im tired of feeling used. im tired of being "just the girlfriend" or "baby mama". i feel disrespected.
And I can't be mad at anyone but myself because I allowed it to happen.