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Stupid Friends, I'm Tired of Being Hurt!!!!!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

It never fails, I start out w/what I think are great friends.  I have get togethers at my house & everyone becomes a nice group & we have fun.  However, eventually many become closer & closer & seem to just forget about me.

3 of my so called best friends met through me, the 4 of us were best friends & now they find ways to ignore me.

Back home my best friend became friends w/my other best friend, the 2 of them started to ignore me.  I called them out on it & both said "you are moving & it hurts too much so we are walking away."  WTF kind of crap is that when we all talked about visiting & camping down here in TN?

It happened growing up too.  I'm ready to stop introducing my friends to my other friends!

No I don't think I'm annoying, I can be shy in new settings but they have all known that.  I'm always there for them, I'm an honest & true friend.  I honestly am starting to think one of the last few trustworthy, honest, loving & caring people out there!

I have been right there for all of them, and this shit happens!  I couldn't imagine being any other way.

My friend ended up in the hospital the day of my bday, I saw the ambulance & ran to her house.  I had her kids ALL day long & ALL night long.

My other friend would come over every Sunday & we'd cook/bake.  She really didn't know how, now she does.  Towards the end of her coming over I knew it was coming, she started making fun of me & my little quirks.  I use to think she was joking but it kept going & going.  Now I can laugh at myself for the most part but she took it too far.  She doesn't come over anymore & my other friend that had started to hang out on Sunday's no longer does either.

But the 3 of them are quick to get together.  I've never done a damn thing to them, was there for them yet for some reason it is so easy to walk away from me!

I'm tired of being there for people & then getting crapped on.  I just couldn't imagine being any other way.  I've tried not being so nice & loving & giving & it just isn't me.  I guess wearing your heart on your sleeve leaves you open for shit like this.

My problem is that they all said things like "I can't believe people treated you like that, I would never do that, I could never walk away from such a wonderful friend like you, I think you are one of the last true friends out there."    Why say these things if you don't freaking mean it?

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 3, 2014 at 7:13 PM
Replies (11-20):
frankiesma530
by Platinum Member on Jan. 3, 2014 at 7:41 PM

Well, I'm happy being a hermit.  I will usually only go to things with my brother and his friends, cuz I know they are nice people.  Keep looking for friends  but don't take it too seriously. People suck sometimes.

Quoting Anonymous:

 I'm sadly thinking that is the way I need to go :(

Quoting frankiesma530:

Boooo, that sucks.  I keep to myself, I trust no one!



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 3, 2014 at 7:50 PM

 I've always kind of liked being a hermit to an extent.  I prefer get togethers here, maybe that is part of the problem.  I mean I go but I'm most comfortable here & most seemed ok w/that as I had the most room anyway.  I love to entertain so I had a lot of entertaining essentials too.  My friend sells Pampered Chef, every party she puts together (that others haven't booked or a friend booked but didn't have the room) have been here.

Maybe I'm too nice, just can't seem to change that.

Quoting frankiesma530:

Well, I'm happy being a hermit.  I will usually only go to things with my brother and his friends, cuz I know they are nice people.  Keep looking for friends  but don't take it too seriously. People suck sometimes.

Quoting Anonymous:

 I'm sadly thinking that is the way I need to go :(

Quoting frankiesma530:

Boooo, that sucks.  I keep to myself, I trust no one!

 


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 3, 2014 at 7:53 PM

 I don't let it happen.

How are they more active in maintaining friendships?

Yes one good friend is, which is why my friend back home & I value our friendship as she's had the same thing happen to her.  We've both had family do the same shit.  But she isn't here & isn't part of the military life so it would be nice to find a good friend or 2 while stuck at this post.

Quoting luckysevenwow: Letting it happen and hoping it won't is probably why it does happen. It sounds like they are more active in maintaining the friendships.

So I'll just repeat...one good friend is worth more then a few decent friends.


Quoting Anonymous:

 Wish I knew why it happens.


We don't fight, just seems to happen slowly.  I try to ignore it thinking it is in my head but it happens.


I use to blame myself, thinking I need to change but honestly I shouldn't have to change to keep friends.


Quoting luckysevenwow: Your the common denominator here, why does it always happen?

Aside from that find yourself one good friend, stop spreading it around :)

 

 

frankiesma530
by Platinum Member on Jan. 3, 2014 at 7:53 PM


Sometimes people are too nice.  I think you will find nice friends if you just continue being yourself...maybe look into groups with people that share similar interests.

Quoting Anonymous:

 I've always kind of liked being a hermit to an extent.  I prefer get togethers here, maybe that is part of the problem.  I mean I go but I'm most comfortable here & most seemed ok w/that as I had the most room anyway.  I love to entertain so I had a lot of entertaining essentials too.  My friend sells Pampered Chef, every party she puts together (that others haven't booked or a friend booked but didn't have the room) have been here.

Maybe I'm too nice, just can't seem to change that.

Quoting frankiesma530:

Well, I'm happy being a hermit.  I will usually only go to things with my brother and his friends, cuz I know they are nice people.  Keep looking for friends  but don't take it too seriously. People suck sometimes.

Quoting Anonymous:

 I'm sadly thinking that is the way I need to go :(

Quoting frankiesma530:

Boooo, that sucks.  I keep to myself, I trust no one!






Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 3, 2014 at 7:55 PM

Its your personality. I have known people like you and at first I wonder why they have no friends, they are great... and then it starts to become clear.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 3, 2014 at 8:01 PM

 Please inform me what becomes clear.

Quoting Anonymous:

Its your personality. I have known people like you and at first I wonder why they have no friends, they are great... and then it starts to become clear.

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 3, 2014 at 8:05 PM

It's different, but it always becomes clear with time why these people don't have friends. Closet pill popper, selfish, moocher, clingy. Various reasons. But there always is one. Otherwise they wouldn't go through friends quicker than christmas underwear.

Quoting Anonymous:

 Please inform me what becomes clear.

Quoting Anonymous:

Its your personality. I have known people like you and at first I wonder why they have no friends, they are great... and then it starts to become clear.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 3, 2014 at 8:13 PM

 So you are going to make assumptions, got it.

Definitely not a moocher, I don't need anything.  Typically everyone comes to me for things they need not the other way around.

Selfish.  Yeah I am so far from selfish, one of the most giving people out there & the only thing I expect in return is respect & treat me w/kindness.  I don't expect to be repaid & I don't hold it over anyone's head.

No not clingy, there are times I definitely wish to be alone as too many things going on or too many people around overwhelm me at times.

LOL at pill popper, I hate drugs.  Most everything I use is natural unless absolutely necessary.

Sounds like you assume the way these people are, including me.

I did have on friend who walked away inform me they couldn't handle being around me bc I was happy and happy in my marriage.  I guess misery loves company & I'm not miserable.

I had another friend who said she was jealous of my marriage & my ambition in my business.  Guess I wasn't lazy enough for her.

Hmmm....maybe my issue is not being a good judge of character.  I must have some good judgement as I do have a few amazing friends, they just don't get to move around w/me.

Quoting Anonymous:

It's different, but it always becomes clear with time why these people don't have friends. Closet pill popper, selfish, moocher, clingy. Various reasons. But there always is one. Otherwise they wouldn't go through friends quicker than christmas underwear.

Quoting Anonymous:

 Please inform me what becomes clear.

Quoting Anonymous:

Its your personality. I have known people like you and at first I wonder why they have no friends, they are great... and then it starts to become clear.

 

 

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 3, 2014 at 8:19 PM
1 mom liked this

I didn't say you were any of those things, you asked me about my experiences so I relayed them.

If you find it more productive to lament on a message board why multiple people pass you up for friendship time and time again, than to perhaps examine the one common denominator (yourself). That's your choice.

I didn't assume anything about the previous people I have unfriend-ed. I found out and learned their flaws and they were too much for me to care to continue a friendship with them.

I have no problems making and keeping friends, so I don't have to settle for people who are selfish, annoying etc.

You have no friends because everyone is jealous of you.

Interesting conclusion you came to. Enjoy it. Alone. With no lasting friendships.

Quoting Anonymous:

 So you are going to make assumptions, got it.

Definitely not a moocher, I don't need anything.  Typically everyone comes to me for things they need not the other way around.

Selfish.  Yeah I am so far from selfish, one of the most giving people out there & the only thing I expect in return is respect & treat me w/kindness.  I don't expect to be repaid & I don't hold it over anyone's head.

No not clingy, there are times I definitely wish to be alone as too many things going on or too many people around overwhelm me at times.

LOL at pill popper, I hate drugs.  Most everything I use is natural unless absolutely necessary.

Sounds like you assume the way these people are, including me.

I did have on friend who walked away inform me they couldn't handle being around me bc I was happy and happy in my marriage.  I guess misery loves company & I'm not miserable.

I had another friend who said she was jealous of my marriage & my ambition in my business.  Guess I wasn't lazy enough for her.

Hmmm....maybe my issue is not being a good judge of character.  I must have some good judgement as I do have a few amazing friends, they just don't get to move around w/me.

Quoting Anonymous:

It's different, but it always becomes clear with time why these people don't have friends. Closet pill popper, selfish, moocher, clingy. Various reasons. But there always is one. Otherwise they wouldn't go through friends quicker than christmas underwear.

Quoting Anonymous:

 Please inform me what becomes clear.

Quoting Anonymous:

Its your personality. I have known people like you and at first I wonder why they have no friends, they are great... and then it starts to become clear.





readyforhim
by Platinum Member on Jan. 3, 2014 at 8:21 PM

Think about when things started changing, maybe you are missing something. We're not perfect, there is always something we should try to work on.

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