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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Stupid Friends, I'm Tired of Being Hurt!!!!!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

It never fails, I start out w/what I think are great friends.  I have get togethers at my house & everyone becomes a nice group & we have fun.  However, eventually many become closer & closer & seem to just forget about me.

3 of my so called best friends met through me, the 4 of us were best friends & now they find ways to ignore me.

Back home my best friend became friends w/my other best friend, the 2 of them started to ignore me.  I called them out on it & both said "you are moving & it hurts too much so we are walking away."  WTF kind of crap is that when we all talked about visiting & camping down here in TN?

It happened growing up too.  I'm ready to stop introducing my friends to my other friends!

No I don't think I'm annoying, I can be shy in new settings but they have all known that.  I'm always there for them, I'm an honest & true friend.  I honestly am starting to think one of the last few trustworthy, honest, loving & caring people out there!

I have been right there for all of them, and this shit happens!  I couldn't imagine being any other way.

My friend ended up in the hospital the day of my bday, I saw the ambulance & ran to her house.  I had her kids ALL day long & ALL night long.

My other friend would come over every Sunday & we'd cook/bake.  She really didn't know how, now she does.  Towards the end of her coming over I knew it was coming, she started making fun of me & my little quirks.  I use to think she was joking but it kept going & going.  Now I can laugh at myself for the most part but she took it too far.  She doesn't come over anymore & my other friend that had started to hang out on Sunday's no longer does either.

But the 3 of them are quick to get together.  I've never done a damn thing to them, was there for them yet for some reason it is so easy to walk away from me!

I'm tired of being there for people & then getting crapped on.  I just couldn't imagine being any other way.  I've tried not being so nice & loving & giving & it just isn't me.  I guess wearing your heart on your sleeve leaves you open for shit like this.

My problem is that they all said things like "I can't believe people treated you like that, I would never do that, I could never walk away from such a wonderful friend like you, I think you are one of the last true friends out there."    Why say these things if you don't freaking mean it?

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 3, 2014 at 7:13 PM
Replies (21-30):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 3, 2014 at 8:29 PM
1 mom liked this


Quote:

she started making fun of me & my little quirks
You're the common denominator.  What "little quirks" are being made fun of?  That may be a good place to start.  Based solely on how you write, you sound like a "friend" of mine that I had to back away from in that she was a bit clingy/smothery/dependant.  Getting together EVERY Sunday to do the same thing over and over again?  Whose idea was that?  I have a feeling you need to become a little more independant and (dare I say) interesting.   Don't run to help before you've actually been ASKED to help (seriously, seeing the ambulance and running over?  Don't do that - it's nosey, not "helpful").
Loveavision
by Gold Member on Jan. 3, 2014 at 8:32 PM
I probably wouldn't want to be friends with you, either. You seem eerily sensitive..
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 3, 2014 at 8:40 PM

 My one friend stopped coming around when she saw me have a panic attack, I had to cut our walk short.  Well I didn't really have to, I asked if we could just sit for a minute at the car.  She seemed fine that day but shortly after that things started to change.  They all know I suffer from anxiety, most of which develped since moving here.  However, they've all seen me make great strides in overcoming in, though of course I still have set backs.

I also missed the color run we were all suppose to be doing.  One was upset w/me & said "I knew you were going to bail" things changed after that.  I didn't have a choice but to miss it, Dr orders.  I have Plantars Faciitis, got to the point that muscle was starting to pull away from my shin bones.  The 3 of them started to run together all the time.  They'd ask & I couldn't go.  At this point I'm only allowed to walk a mile.  There were days I was in a ton of pain & while I tried hard to not complain it came out once in awhile.  Even pain meds didn't always take away the pain.  Things started to change then.  One that I have completely stopped talking to informed me I was weak & should learn to push past the pain.  I had done that for years & it made things horribly worse, it was time for me to listen to my Dr.  She also has a way of talking to people like she is superior, I've called her out on it a few times.  We are President & VP together on the PTA, she's pissed off a few teachers & I've had to reel her in.  She said this is why she loved me, bc I call her out on her BS when she gets too heated.  Apparently this is now a problem.

That is 2, the 3rd just seems to be following.  But has enjoyed making fun of me to no end, like my phobia of spiders.  I can kill them if I have to, though it tends to be met w/a  lot of screams lol.  But if my DH is home he deals w/them. One came out of a light fixture & almost landed on me, I freaked for a moment (not the first time she's seen me stress over a spider) then got my husband.  Damn thing almost landed on my head & was a brown recluse, those things terrify me.  She would not let up on me & I finally said something.  Since then she has drifted away & sticks w/the others.  I've also had volunteers come to me about her & how she treats them & have had to talk to her a few times about it.  We've lost many volunteers this year unfortunately.

As for the 2 back home (where I still have 2 other best friends so it isn't like I'm completely friendless I'm just tired of feeling used) one is w/a controlling husband & the other became friends w/her (actually introduced her to my friends controlling husband) and they said they couldn't handle me leaving bc I was so happy I was leaving (I was finally getting to move w/my DH of course I was happy they also knew I was sad to be leaving them).  I also don't think I hid my disdain for my one friends husband very well.

Of course there are things I should work on, I am far from perfect.  Right now I am focusing on overcoming my anxiety, not an easy thing to do.  It has always been there but has really come out since being here bc of all the health issues I've gone through, most of which were handled alone bc my DH was gone. 

Quoting readyforhim:

Think about when things started changing, maybe you are missing something. We're not perfect, there is always something we should try to work on.

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 3, 2014 at 8:46 PM

 

Quoting Anonymous:


Quote:

she started making fun of me & my little quirks
You're the common denominator.  What "little quirks" are being made fun of?  That may be a good place to start.  Based solely on how you write, you sound like a "friend" of mine that I had to back away from in that she was a bit clingy/smothery/dependant.  Getting together EVERY Sunday to do the same thing over and over again?  Whose idea was that?  I have a feeling you need to become a little more independant and (dare I say) interesting.   Don't run to help before you've actually been ASKED to help (seriously, seeing the ambulance and running over?  Don't do that - it's nosey, not "helpful").

 My phobia of spiders, my love for Halloween & Christmas.  We aren't talking about a few jabs here & there, we are talking constant made fun of to the point where another friend told her to shut up bc it was irritating her.

The cooking was her idea, personally there were times I wished she wasn't coming over.  However, he husband is deployed so I sucked it up.  It was no my idea.  Heck she even spent the night up in our spare room a number of times bc she didn't want to go home.

LMAO, nosey ok.  I wasn't the only one that went over she has 5 kids, one of which use to not go w/anyone else but me.  There was no way they could go w/her in the ambulance.  Hmmm....I would consider someone running over to see if myself or my DH needed any help since an ambulance is here a good friend.  I already knew what was going on as her husband had messaged me a few times that day.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 3, 2014 at 8:47 PM

 Maybe a bit sensitive but not overly sensitive.

Quoting Loveavision: I probably wouldn't want to be friends with you, either. You seem eerily sensitive..

 

TurtleMami
by Silver Member on Jan. 3, 2014 at 9:48 PM

Yup, it does. I found out I was pregnant around the time I decided to s with everyone who took me for granted. I think that really helped me. It was a huge turning point, and I feel like I got a clean start. I still keep in touch with a few people, but they've always been distant friends and for now it's staying that way. Hope you figure out something for yourself. It sucks, and I don't think it's your fault. 

Quoting Anonymous:

 I'm sorry :( It sucks!

Quoting TurtleMami:

Did I write this in my sleep?



Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 3, 2014 at 10:19 PM

 Thank you.

I think I let people take advantage of me & I'm too trusting.  I listen to everyone complain but when I complain I'm told I'm sensitive or ridiculous or heck told nothing at all bc they don't want to listen and I try not to complain often.  Sometimes a good vent is needed though ya know.

I may have found one good friend out of all of this & oddly enough she was slighted by them all last year.  I was dumb & listened to them so I didn't really get to know her, she saw how I've been getting treated & brought me coffee one day & we've been hanging out since. 

Quoting TurtleMami:

Yup, it does. I found out I was pregnant around the time I decided to s with everyone who took me for granted. I think that really helped me. It was a huge turning point, and I feel like I got a clean start. I still keep in touch with a few people, but they've always been distant friends and for now it's staying that way. Hope you figure out something for yourself. It sucks, and I don't think it's your fault. 

Quoting Anonymous:

 I'm sorry :( It sucks!

Quoting TurtleMami:

Did I write this in my sleep?

 


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 3, 2014 at 10:32 PM
I'm terrified of spiders too. They scare the shit out of me.
Miss.MandyLynn
by on Jan. 3, 2014 at 10:37 PM
This sorry

Quoting luckysevenwow: Your the common denominator here, why does it always happen?



Aside from that find yourself one good friend, stop spreading it around :)
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 3, 2014 at 10:41 PM

 I do have a few good friends.  Being military it is nice having friends you can rely on, seems I'm always the one to rely on at this post & I have nobody to really rely on around here.

Just tired of being walked on I guess.

Quoting Miss.MandyLynn: This sorry

Quoting luckysevenwow: Your the common denominator here, why does it always happen?



Aside from that find yourself one good friend, stop spreading it around :)

 

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