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Stupid Friends, I'm Tired of Being Hurt!!!!!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

It never fails, I start out w/what I think are great friends.  I have get togethers at my house & everyone becomes a nice group & we have fun.  However, eventually many become closer & closer & seem to just forget about me.

3 of my so called best friends met through me, the 4 of us were best friends & now they find ways to ignore me.

Back home my best friend became friends w/my other best friend, the 2 of them started to ignore me.  I called them out on it & both said "you are moving & it hurts too much so we are walking away."  WTF kind of crap is that when we all talked about visiting & camping down here in TN?

It happened growing up too.  I'm ready to stop introducing my friends to my other friends!

No I don't think I'm annoying, I can be shy in new settings but they have all known that.  I'm always there for them, I'm an honest & true friend.  I honestly am starting to think one of the last few trustworthy, honest, loving & caring people out there!

I have been right there for all of them, and this shit happens!  I couldn't imagine being any other way.

My friend ended up in the hospital the day of my bday, I saw the ambulance & ran to her house.  I had her kids ALL day long & ALL night long.

My other friend would come over every Sunday & we'd cook/bake.  She really didn't know how, now she does.  Towards the end of her coming over I knew it was coming, she started making fun of me & my little quirks.  I use to think she was joking but it kept going & going.  Now I can laugh at myself for the most part but she took it too far.  She doesn't come over anymore & my other friend that had started to hang out on Sunday's no longer does either.

But the 3 of them are quick to get together.  I've never done a damn thing to them, was there for them yet for some reason it is so easy to walk away from me!

I'm tired of being there for people & then getting crapped on.  I just couldn't imagine being any other way.  I've tried not being so nice & loving & giving & it just isn't me.  I guess wearing your heart on your sleeve leaves you open for shit like this.

My problem is that they all said things like "I can't believe people treated you like that, I would never do that, I could never walk away from such a wonderful friend like you, I think you are one of the last true friends out there."    Why say these things if you don't freaking mean it?

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 3, 2014 at 7:13 PM
Replies (41-50):
Mom2tmk
by on Jan. 3, 2014 at 11:05 PM
I have Plantars Faciitis too! It does hurt really bad and no one knows just how bad till they have it! I have taken so many pain killers over the years that nothing works on it anymore. I feel your pain on that!! I had a friend that would complain that my foot hurt or I would slow down when we were out shopping. She was a psycho witch and I finally got rid of her 7 months ago and I couldn't be happier. You sound like a nice person and I know it's only the internet but pm me any time!!

Quoting Anonymous:

 My one friend stopped coming around when she saw me have a panic attack, I had to cut our walk short.  Well I didn't really have to, I asked if we could just sit for a minute at the car.  She seemed fine that day but shortly after that things started to change.  They all know I suffer from anxiety, most of which develped since moving here.  However, they've all seen me make great strides in overcoming in, though of course I still have set backs.


I also missed the color run we were all suppose to be doing.  One was upset w/me & said "I knew you were going to bail" things changed after that.  I didn't have a choice but to miss it, Dr orders.  I have Plantars Faciitis, got to the point that muscle was starting to pull away from my shin bones.  The 3 of them started to run together all the time.  They'd ask & I couldn't go.  At this point I'm only allowed to walk a mile.  There were days I was in a ton of pain & while I tried hard to not complain it came out once in awhile.  Even pain meds didn't always take away the pain.  Things started to change then.  One that I have completely stopped talking to informed me I was weak & should learn to push past the pain.  I had done that for years & it made things horribly worse, it was time for me to listen to my Dr.  She also has a way of talking to people like she is superior, I've called her out on it a few times.  We are President & VP together on the PTA, she's pissed off a few teachers & I've had to reel her in.  She said this is why she loved me, bc I call her out on her BS when she gets too heated.  Apparently this is now a problem.


That is 2, the 3rd just seems to be following.  But has enjoyed making fun of me to no end, like my phobia of spiders.  I can kill them if I have to, though it tends to be met w/a  lot of screams lol.  But if my DH is home he deals w/them. One came out of a light fixture & almost landed on me, I freaked for a moment (not the first time she's seen me stress over a spider) then got my husband.  Damn thing almost landed on my head & was a brown recluse, those things terrify me.  She would not let up on me & I finally said something.  Since then she has drifted away & sticks w/the others.  I've also had volunteers come to me about her & how she treats them & have had to talk to her a few times about it.  We've lost many volunteers this year unfortunately.


As for the 2 back home (where I still have 2 other best friends so it isn't like I'm completely friendless I'm just tired of feeling used) one is w/a controlling husband & the other became friends w/her (actually introduced her to my friends controlling husband) and they said they couldn't handle me leaving bc I was so happy I was leaving (I was finally getting to move w/my DH of course I was happy they also knew I was sad to be leaving them).  I also don't think I hid my disdain for my one friends husband very well.


Of course there are things I should work on, I am far from perfect.  Right now I am focusing on overcoming my anxiety, not an easy thing to do.  It has always been there but has really come out since being here bc of all the health issues I've gone through, most of which were handled alone bc my DH was gone. 


Quoting readyforhim:

Think about when things started changing, maybe you are missing something. We're not perfect, there is always something we should try to work on.


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jan. 3, 2014 at 11:11 PM
My friend was driving me home one night and I happened to glance up towards the mirror thingy... oh hell... the vanity mirror thing that blocks the sun.. anyways there was this huge spider hanging from it. I screamed and shot across the van and was practically sitting in her lap, lol. She. Was. Dying. She found a safe place to pull over and killed it for me, and hasn't let me live it down since, lol.

Quoting Anonymous:

 I HATE them, especially Brown Recluse.  I can't stress how much I hate them.


Every week I have cotton balls in every corner of the house & under beds drenched in essential oils to keep spiders away.


My one friend (I do have friends just some tend to be hurtful & some I haven't gotten close with really) who I've gotten closer w/since all this happened called me to rescue her at the gas station.  There was a huge spider in her car & she wouldn't get back in.  So yup she was smart and call the another person terrified of spiders, lol.  She trusted to call me though bc she was there when another friend basically ripped me apart bc of my spider phobia, she didn't trust to call her & not be laughed at. They were closer at the time, not so much anymore.  Guess people change or true colors come out. IDK.


Anyway, this big black thing crawled up by her mirror, I couldn't safely get it w/o knocking the mirror off the windshield or having it jump on me.  Thankfully a retired Vet came over & assisted us w/a bit of laughter.  He did try to make us feel better though.  He said "3 wars & honestly I'd rather be shot at then have a spider on my leg." LOL I think he was fibbing, lol.


Quoting Anonymous: I'm terrified of spiders too. They scare the shit out of me.

 

mjgm1966
by Bronze Member on Jan. 3, 2014 at 11:12 PM

 One thing I've learned in this lifetime is that people will treat you however you ALLOW them to treat you.  You have the power to put a stop to it.  It sounds like you are a really sweet, sincere person.  I'm sorry that you have been put in this position.  But, honey, your life is not over.  And this too shall pass.  There is a world of people out there who will appreciate you and the friendship you have to offer.  Just go cautiously, and be true to yourself.  BUt, hold that head high, give respect and expect it in return.  You are just as important.  Hold yourself to the same standards.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jan. 3, 2014 at 11:31 PM
I only have my husband and one close friend. That close friend is possibly moving several states away in a month. My other friends have moved away and stopped talking to me. One of my friends, I've known her since 2005, she moved across the country and said, and I quote, "I'll miss you too, but we'll always be friends." And hasn't talked to me but maybe once since she moved 4 months ago.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 3, 2014 at 11:55 PM

 LOL yeah I laugh at myself & I'm cook w/the occassional jabs :)  The one friend though who was at my house she kept going & going & was just being mean, I couldn't believe it.

I totally picture you flying out of your seat, been there done that too lol.  My DH has had to pull over on more than one occassion, oops!

Quoting Anonymous: My friend was driving me home one night and I happened to glance up towards the mirror thingy... oh hell... the vanity mirror thing that blocks the sun.. anyways there was this huge spider hanging from it. I screamed and shot across the van and was practically sitting in her lap, lol. She. Was. Dying. She found a safe place to pull over and killed it for me, and hasn't let me live it down since, lol.

Quoting Anonymous:

 I HATE them, especially Brown Recluse.  I can't stress how much I hate them.


Every week I have cotton balls in every corner of the house & under beds drenched in essential oils to keep spiders away.


My one friend (I do have friends just some tend to be hurtful & some I haven't gotten close with really) who I've gotten closer w/since all this happened called me to rescue her at the gas station.  There was a huge spider in her car & she wouldn't get back in.  So yup she was smart and call the another person terrified of spiders, lol.  She trusted to call me though bc she was there when another friend basically ripped me apart bc of my spider phobia, she didn't trust to call her & not be laughed at. They were closer at the time, not so much anymore.  Guess people change or true colors come out. IDK.


Anyway, this big black thing crawled up by her mirror, I couldn't safely get it w/o knocking the mirror off the windshield or having it jump on me.  Thankfully a retired Vet came over & assisted us w/a bit of laughter.  He did try to make us feel better though.  He said "3 wars & honestly I'd rather be shot at then have a spider on my leg." LOL I think he was fibbing, lol.


Quoting Anonymous: I'm terrified of spiders too. They scare the shit out of me.

 

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 4, 2014 at 12:00 AM

 Thank you!

Yeah I flipping hate it & I haven't found a good physical therapist around here, loved the one back home.  My feet felt so much better.  I've been to PT here twice and they keep me for 2 weeks & send me on my way.  No rubbing the scar tissue out of me feet, no machine that is suppose to loosen you up & help stimulate damaged nerves, nothing.  The therapist back home had me feeling so much better, not here though.  So now I'm working w/just my dr & I started doing yoga which has seemed to help.

I love pedicures but the last 2 times the people don't listen to me.  I tell them to be gentle when massaging my calf muscles but nope & I can feel the muscle pull along my shin bone.  Then they wonder why I get pissed.  I said something to the manager last time & told her if they didn't listen I'd be going across the hall.  I love this manager so I don't really want to but I want to enjoy & benefit from my pedicure ya know!

Quoting Mom2tmk: I have Plantars Faciitis too! It does hurt really bad and no one knows just how bad till they have it! I have taken so many pain killers over the years that nothing works on it anymore. I feel your pain on that!! I had a friend that would complain that my foot hurt or I would slow down when we were out shopping. She was a psycho witch and I finally got rid of her 7 months ago and I couldn't be happier. You sound like a nice person and I know it's only the internet but pm me any time!!

Quoting Anonymous:

 My one friend stopped coming around when she saw me have a panic attack, I had to cut our walk short.  Well I didn't really have to, I asked if we could just sit for a minute at the car.  She seemed fine that day but shortly after that things started to change.  They all know I suffer from anxiety, most of which develped since moving here.  However, they've all seen me make great strides in overcoming in, though of course I still have set backs.


I also missed the color run we were all suppose to be doing.  One was upset w/me & said "I knew you were going to bail" things changed after that.  I didn't have a choice but to miss it, Dr orders.  I have Plantars Faciitis, got to the point that muscle was starting to pull away from my shin bones.  The 3 of them started to run together all the time.  They'd ask & I couldn't go.  At this point I'm only allowed to walk a mile.  There were days I was in a ton of pain & while I tried hard to not complain it came out once in awhile.  Even pain meds didn't always take away the pain.  Things started to change then.  One that I have completely stopped talking to informed me I was weak & should learn to push past the pain.  I had done that for years & it made things horribly worse, it was time for me to listen to my Dr.  She also has a way of talking to people like she is superior, I've called her out on it a few times.  We are President & VP together on the PTA, she's pissed off a few teachers & I've had to reel her in.  She said this is why she loved me, bc I call her out on her BS when she gets too heated.  Apparently this is now a problem.


That is 2, the 3rd just seems to be following.  But has enjoyed making fun of me to no end, like my phobia of spiders.  I can kill them if I have to, though it tends to be met w/a  lot of screams lol.  But if my DH is home he deals w/them. One came out of a light fixture & almost landed on me, I freaked for a moment (not the first time she's seen me stress over a spider) then got my husband.  Damn thing almost landed on my head & was a brown recluse, those things terrify me.  She would not let up on me & I finally said something.  Since then she has drifted away & sticks w/the others.  I've also had volunteers come to me about her & how she treats them & have had to talk to her a few times about it.  We've lost many volunteers this year unfortunately.


As for the 2 back home (where I still have 2 other best friends so it isn't like I'm completely friendless I'm just tired of feeling used) one is w/a controlling husband & the other became friends w/her (actually introduced her to my friends controlling husband) and they said they couldn't handle me leaving bc I was so happy I was leaving (I was finally getting to move w/my DH of course I was happy they also knew I was sad to be leaving them).  I also don't think I hid my disdain for my one friends husband very well.


Of course there are things I should work on, I am far from perfect.  Right now I am focusing on overcoming my anxiety, not an easy thing to do.  It has always been there but has really come out since being here bc of all the health issues I've gone through, most of which were handled alone bc my DH was gone. 


Quoting readyforhim:

Think about when things started changing, maybe you are missing something. We're not perfect, there is always something we should try to work on.


 

 

Mom2tmk
by on Jan. 4, 2014 at 12:04 AM
My dr taped my foot and gave me an odd looking boot to wear at night. I could feel the tearing when I would take a step. I haven't had a pedi for ever cause anyone touching my foot just hurts. V

Quoting Anonymous:

 Thank you!


Yeah I flipping hate it & I haven't found a good physical therapist around here, loved the one back home.  My feet felt so much better.  I've been to PT here twice and they keep me for 2 weeks & send me on my way.  No rubbing the scar tissue out of me feet, no machine that is suppose to loosen you up & help stimulate damaged nerves, nothing.  The therapist back home had me feeling so much better, not here though.  So now I'm working w/just my dr & I started doing yoga which has seemed to help.


I love pedicures but the last 2 times the people don't listen to me.  I tell them to be gentle when massaging my calf muscles but nope & I can feel the muscle pull along my shin bone.  Then they wonder why I get pissed.  I said something to the manager last time & told her if they didn't listen I'd be going across the hall.  I love this manager so I don't really want to but I want to enjoy & benefit from my pedicure ya know!


Quoting Mom2tmk: I have Plantars Faciitis too! It does hurt really bad and no one knows just how bad till they have it! I have taken so many pain killers over the years that nothing works on it anymore. I feel your pain on that!! I had a friend that would complain that my foot hurt or I would slow down when we were out shopping. She was a psycho witch and I finally got rid of her 7 months ago and I couldn't be happier. You sound like a nice person and I know it's only the internet but pm me any time!!


Quoting Anonymous:

 My one friend stopped coming around when she saw me have a panic attack, I had to cut our walk short.  Well I didn't really have to, I asked if we could just sit for a minute at the car.  She seemed fine that day but shortly after that things started to change.  They all know I suffer from anxiety, most of which develped since moving here.  However, they've all seen me make great strides in overcoming in, though of course I still have set backs.



I also missed the color run we were all suppose to be doing.  One was upset w/me & said "I knew you were going to bail" things changed after that.  I didn't have a choice but to miss it, Dr orders.  I have Plantars Faciitis, got to the point that muscle was starting to pull away from my shin bones.  The 3 of them started to run together all the time.  They'd ask & I couldn't go.  At this point I'm only allowed to walk a mile.  There were days I was in a ton of pain & while I tried hard to not complain it came out once in awhile.  Even pain meds didn't always take away the pain.  Things started to change then.  One that I have completely stopped talking to informed me I was weak & should learn to push past the pain.  I had done that for years & it made things horribly worse, it was time for me to listen to my Dr.  She also has a way of talking to people like she is superior, I've called her out on it a few times.  We are President & VP together on the PTA, she's pissed off a few teachers & I've had to reel her in.  She said this is why she loved me, bc I call her out on her BS when she gets too heated.  Apparently this is now a problem.



That is 2, the 3rd just seems to be following.  But has enjoyed making fun of me to no end, like my phobia of spiders.  I can kill them if I have to, though it tends to be met w/a  lot of screams lol.  But if my DH is home he deals w/them. One came out of a light fixture & almost landed on me, I freaked for a moment (not the first time she's seen me stress over a spider) then got my husband.  Damn thing almost landed on my head & was a brown recluse, those things terrify me.  She would not let up on me & I finally said something.  Since then she has drifted away & sticks w/the others.  I've also had volunteers come to me about her & how she treats them & have had to talk to her a few times about it.  We've lost many volunteers this year unfortunately.



As for the 2 back home (where I still have 2 other best friends so it isn't like I'm completely friendless I'm just tired of feeling used) one is w/a controlling husband & the other became friends w/her (actually introduced her to my friends controlling husband) and they said they couldn't handle me leaving bc I was so happy I was leaving (I was finally getting to move w/my DH of course I was happy they also knew I was sad to be leaving them).  I also don't think I hid my disdain for my one friends husband very well.



Of course there are things I should work on, I am far from perfect.  Right now I am focusing on overcoming my anxiety, not an easy thing to do.  It has always been there but has really come out since being here bc of all the health issues I've gone through, most of which were handled alone bc my DH was gone. 



Quoting readyforhim:

Think about when things started changing, maybe you are missing something. We're not perfect, there is always something we should try to work on.



 


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 4, 2014 at 12:04 AM

 Yeah I seem to have more luck w/guy friends.  Good thing hubby trusts me :)

Quoting Anonymous:

 I don't know honey......it happens to me as well. I guess I'm just not as fun or talkitive as others are? I have two amazing friends (both guys). One is halfway around the world in Japan in the Navy and the other is here in town. They are more like brothers then friends. Those two are my constants.

Other than them I've stopped making friends and don't have any others. Sure I have acquaintances.

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Jan. 4, 2014 at 12:06 AM

read boundaries by cloud & townsend. It talks about how to pick better firends.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jan. 4, 2014 at 12:15 AM
Yeah, that's just cruel. I hate people who think it's funny to make fun of others.
Lol, yeah, looking back on it, it cracks me up now.

Quoting Anonymous:

 LOL yeah I laugh at myself & I'm cook w/the occassional jabs :)  The one friend though who was at my house she kept going & going & was just being mean, I couldn't believe it.


I totally picture you flying out of your seat, been there done that too lol.  My DH has had to pull over on more than one occassion, oops!


Quoting Anonymous: My friend was driving me home one night and I happened to glance up towards the mirror thingy... oh hell... the vanity mirror thing that blocks the sun.. anyways there was this huge spider hanging from it. I screamed and shot across the van and was practically sitting in her lap, lol. She. Was. Dying. She found a safe place to pull over and killed it for me, and hasn't let me live it down since, lol.


Quoting Anonymous:

 I HATE them, especially Brown Recluse.  I can't stress how much I hate them.



Every week I have cotton balls in every corner of the house & under beds drenched in essential oils to keep spiders away.



My one friend (I do have friends just some tend to be hurtful & some I haven't gotten close with really) who I've gotten closer w/since all this happened called me to rescue her at the gas station.  There was a huge spider in her car & she wouldn't get back in.  So yup she was smart and call the another person terrified of spiders, lol.  She trusted to call me though bc she was there when another friend basically ripped me apart bc of my spider phobia, she didn't trust to call her & not be laughed at. They were closer at the time, not so much anymore.  Guess people change or true colors come out. IDK.



Anyway, this big black thing crawled up by her mirror, I couldn't safely get it w/o knocking the mirror off the windshield or having it jump on me.  Thankfully a retired Vet came over & assisted us w/a bit of laughter.  He did try to make us feel better though.  He said "3 wars & honestly I'd rather be shot at then have a spider on my leg." LOL I think he was fibbing, lol.



Quoting Anonymous: I'm terrified of spiders too. They scare the shit out of me.


 


 

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