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Better to SAHM to School-Aged Kids than Infants and Toddlers?!

Posted by Anonymous
  • 13 Replies

My kids are both now in school (1st and 4th grades). I've always worked FT, but now it seems like working full time is absolutely out of sync with the needs, demands and schedules of school-aged children. I am not knocking SAHMing when children are babies or toddlers; obviously, there is a benefit. But I now think the needs of older kids, who are still very much dependent, are often overlooked. I mean, the school year is only 180 days long. Add to that breaks, vacations, in-service days, holdays and illnesses, and there are a whole lot of gaps to fill when they are not in school.

Then there's the several hours of time between when they get out of school (around 2 p.m.) and when the average person is able to leave work (4:30-6 p.m.). Additionally, I have daughters, and as a woman who grew up as a latch-key kid, I know all the trouble and issues I encountered due to a lack of supervision after school.

Have any of you quit working after the baby/toddler phase for similar reasons? Or did you scale back your job commitments or career to part-time or something else?

It just feels like a two-career household with youngish children is a total disaster!

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 5, 2014 at 9:50 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by ~Tammie~ on Jan. 5, 2014 at 9:52 AM

I personally feel its better if i stay home until he is in high school. but with every family its different. My husband loves his job and is probably a bonafied workaholic often spending 90 hours at work a week. We have to remind him who we are sometimes(jk). My working outside the home isn't practical for us at any age really.  

Photo: -Randi.

by Emerald Member on Jan. 5, 2014 at 9:53 AM

I've always said that my kids will need me home more as they get older than they did when they were little.  My kids are 13,10 and 8 and they need me around far more now than when they were little. 

Right now it's mostly just so I can get them every where they need to do. If I was working I don't know how I wold have active kids. They'd be lumps just sitting around all the time waiting for a parent.

Then when they're in highschool I think they'll need me even more. Thats when all the pressures of being a teen hits.  

by Platinum Member on Jan. 5, 2014 at 9:53 AM
I have been a sahm since they were born and we initially thought I would go back to work when they started school but came to this same realization. So I have been home for 10 years now lol
by Platinum Member on Jan. 5, 2014 at 9:56 AM

This is why I always laugh when people condemn women who do not return to the work force after their children are school aged.  They get busier as they get older, and most times their activities are not condusive to working hours.  I don't see myself returning to full time work (year round) unless I absolutely have to until my kids are driving on their own.  That is at least another 9 years so...I've got a while longer :)


by Ruby Member on Jan. 5, 2014 at 9:58 AM

I personally feel it's better to stay at home (if financially possible) when the kids are older.  Bigger kids, bigger mistakes they can make.  Kids are easy, they are supervised all the time.
by iDeclareDebtWar on Jan. 5, 2014 at 9:59 AM
1 mom liked this

I quit my job when my children started school.  The commute was at least an hour and a half, I knew my daughter would have problems adjusting and I had been working since I was 14 so I needed the break.

by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 5, 2014 at 10:00 AM

I stayed home until my kids were in school full time , then went to work. I had no problem working and taking care of the kids making sure they were where they needed to be . Its all about time management.

by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 5, 2014 at 10:03 AM

I don't know when I will ever get back to work.I just worked for a month temp and by the time I got home and made dinner,I felt like I had no time to spend with my kids before bed.I was too tired too. it's hard to be a working mom! I give them credit. I'm glad we have the choice and it's not something I have to do.

by Gold Member on Jan. 5, 2014 at 10:12 AM
I never planned on being a sahm permanently. But now that dd is older and in school, I have found myself asking "who the hell is going to take her and pick her up from school?" There's just no way I could make that work for my family, so I stay home. They have days off at random times, they have more off days for holidays than the average job lets you take, and then There's the massive gap of time off in the summer. Unless I get a job in the school system, there's just no way I could manage to work and still care for my dd without bringing in outside help. I'm not the type to rely on anyone else to keep my dd. My mother already raised her kids, it doesn't feel right to put the responsibility of my dd off on to her so I can work when we get by just fine on one income already. I get a lot of judgment from friends who think I'm just being lazy and make comments like "what do you do all day?!?" There's a lot of animosity over staying at home when you don't have an infant anymore.
by on Jan. 5, 2014 at 10:35 AM
Mu son is in 4th and I had an opportunity to go back to work FT but turned it down for the reasons you stated. I can't imagine working through all his vacations, especially the summer.
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