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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

SS Is Starting To Make Me Worry...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 20 Replies
My SS is 9 and BM always wants to say he's the pinnacle of manliness...seriously, she'll tell him that he's a grown man and that he needs to do man things and will get him things waaay out of his age group that DH and I think is inappropriate. Anyway...SS has been going through some issues with depression and even told me himself that he wants to go to therapy. He tells me a lot of things he doesn't tell BM because he's worried she'll just yell at him for it. I talk with DH anytime he talks about hating himself and self harm or suicide, DH had depression issues as a child and he's worried about his son. Now SS expresses to me frequently that he wants to wear a dress and dress up like a girl and will act like a girl sometimes and talk about how pretty he is. I asked SS if he was just joking around but he told me he really wants to dress like that. Is that normal for little boys to want that? I love him no matter what he wears so it doesn't bother me at all but I don't know if it's just a phase.

There is 50/50 custody with DH and BM and so far BM has not consented to therapy for him, which she has to do according to the court order. Has anyone been through similar things with their boys?
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 5, 2014 at 10:02 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Jessy613
by Diamond Member on Jan. 5, 2014 at 10:03 AM

Bump

vegaswife2011
by LMAO on Jan. 5, 2014 at 10:05 AM

I'm so sorry mama. Document everything! Can you guys take him to a counselor? Best of luck to you. Depression is very serious, I know. I've fought it my entire life. The worst part was when nobody did anything. Please, get him some help mama. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 5, 2014 at 10:08 AM
I have not dealt with this exact situation, but my six year old stepson's stepdad (BM's husband) is very concerned with SS being a 'man'.

SF decided he was going to teach SS to 'fight'. DH doesn't coddle SS, but he felt that was very inappropriate. BM and SF make a big deal about SS being a 'man' and DH does worry about the pressure they put on him.
mommy_me
by ~The Three B's~ on Jan. 5, 2014 at 10:11 AM
Has his father talked to his mother about his issues? Is there any open communication between the two? he really needs to be speaking to his mother about this.
jlm03
by New Member on Jan. 5, 2014 at 10:12 AM
If she refuses to consent to therapy take her to court! If he's 9 and talking about suicide he needs help NOW. You could possibly take him to an emergency room and they have to keep him for 72 hours. Maybe then she will quit living in denial.
kristiansmommy1
by Amanda on Jan. 5, 2014 at 10:12 AM
No but good luck, that sounds like a tough situation for him, he obviously needs the therapy if he has depression and it's sad he's not comfortable enough to talk to his bm about it. Thank god he has you and his dad to support him
Saphira1207
by New Member on Jan. 5, 2014 at 10:14 AM

It sounds like he might be transgender.  He will most definitely need therapy to help deal with those changes, but also to deal with how the primary people in his life(especially his birth mom) are likely to react.

I'd get together with BM and discuss it with her, out of ear shot of your son.  She has to get on board with this and family therapy is a great way to help all involved learn how to cope with the oncoming train of stress you're all going to have.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 5, 2014 at 10:15 AM
1 mom liked this

You and your DH can go to therpay alone to help you learn to deal with this better.  Perhaps you can invite BM to a session at some point?  Have a nuetral party talk to her about this?


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 5, 2014 at 10:16 AM
Yes, but she needs it herself. She thinks there is nothing wrong with him and he should just get over things. She has issues to the point where she hasn't worked in 6 months and relies on her friends to give her free housing.

Quoting mommy_me: Has his father talked to his mother about his issues? Is there any open communication between the two? he really needs to be speaking to his mother about this.
mommy_me
by ~The Three B's~ on Jan. 5, 2014 at 10:18 AM
Im always weary of this type of story. It seems the moms are always "unfit and with issues". If that is truly the case then his dad should petition the court for family therapy

Quoting Anonymous: Yes, but she needs it herself. She thinks there is nothing wrong with him and he should just get over things. She has issues to the point where she hasn't worked in 6 months and relies on her friends to give her free housing.



Quoting mommy_me: Has his father talked to his mother about his issues? Is there any open communication between the two? he really needs to be speaking to his mother about this.
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