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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

SS Is Starting To Make Me Worry...

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
My SS is 9 and BM always wants to say he's the pinnacle of manliness...seriously, she'll tell him that he's a grown man and that he needs to do man things and will get him things waaay out of his age group that DH and I think is inappropriate. Anyway...SS has been going through some issues with depression and even told me himself that he wants to go to therapy. He tells me a lot of things he doesn't tell BM because he's worried she'll just yell at him for it. I talk with DH anytime he talks about hating himself and self harm or suicide, DH had depression issues as a child and he's worried about his son. Now SS expresses to me frequently that he wants to wear a dress and dress up like a girl and will act like a girl sometimes and talk about how pretty he is. I asked SS if he was just joking around but he told me he really wants to dress like that. Is that normal for little boys to want that? I love him no matter what he wears so it doesn't bother me at all but I don't know if it's just a phase.

There is 50/50 custody with DH and BM and so far BM has not consented to therapy for him, which she has to do according to the court order. Has anyone been through similar things with their boys?
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 5, 2014 at 10:02 AM
Replies (11-20):
ccnstanczak
by Gold Member on Jan. 5, 2014 at 10:18 AM
1 mom liked this

dh needs to tell bm to back off the "man" crap and allow him to be a kid, and he needs to express himself so that he has an outlet to his depression or anxiety. and he needs counseling for that as well.

as far as wanting to wear dresses, i dont have boys so i dont know if its normal but i dont think it would be un normal. could be just a way to rebel against his mom or theres some other underlining things going on... and thats ok too.

good luck!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 5, 2014 at 10:24 AM
DH has told her several times to cut that out. I told SS that he needs to enjoy being a kid because once it's over he can't go back.

Quoting ccnstanczak:

dh needs to tell bm to back off the "man" crap and allow him to be a kid, and he needs to express himself so that he has an outlet to his depression or anxiety. and he needs counseling for that as well.

as far as wanting to wear dresses, i dont have boys so i dont know if its normal but i dont think it would be un normal. could be just a way to rebel against his mom or theres some other underlining things going on... and thats ok too.

good luck!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 5, 2014 at 10:28 AM

To be wary is (1) to be on guard against something, or (2) to be watchful or cautious. Weary meansphysically or mentally fatigued. It’s a synonym of tired.

And people don't post about the rainbows and sunshine and unicorn situations.  They post about the bad, hoping for advice and sometimes validation.  

Quoting mommy_me: Im always weary of this type of story. It seems the moms are always "unfit and with issues". If that is truly the case then his dad should petition the court for family therapy

Quoting Anonymous: Yes, but she needs it herself. She thinks there is nothing wrong with him and he should just get over things. She has issues to the point where she hasn't worked in 6 months and relies on her friends to give her free housing.



Quoting mommy_me: Has his father talked to his mother about his issues? Is there any open communication between the two? he really needs to be speaking to his mother about this.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 5, 2014 at 10:30 AM
We can't take him unless she agrees according to the court

Quoting vegaswife2011:

I'm so sorry mama. Document everything! Can you guys take him to a counselor? Best of luck to you. Depression is very serious, I know. I've fought it my entire life. The worst part was when nobody did anything. Please, get him some help mama. 

mommy_me
by ~The Three B's~ on Jan. 5, 2014 at 10:31 AM
Wow. I know what weary means. Which is why I use it in the sentence. As in "Im on guard against stories such as these about birth mothers". Sorry if you had to look up the definition of it because you didn't understand why I would use it. But Im glad I was able to help you learn something today

Quoting Anonymous: To be wary is (1) to be on guard against something, or (2) to be watchful or cautious. Weary meansphysically or mentally fatigued. It’s a synonym of tired.And people don't post about the rainbows and sunshine and unicorn situations.  They post about the bad, hoping for advice and sometimes validation.  Quoting mommy_me: Im always weary of this type of story. It seems the moms are always "unfit and with issues". If that is truly the case then his dad should petition the court for family therapy

Quoting Anonymous: Yes, but she needs it herself. She thinks there is nothing wrong with him and he should just get over things. She has issues to the point where she hasn't worked in 6 months and relies on her friends to give her free housing.


Quoting mommy_me: Has his father talked to his mother about his issues? Is there any open communication between the two? he really needs to be speaking to his mother about this.


vegaswife2011
by LMAO on Jan. 5, 2014 at 10:32 AM

Wow, that's fucked up. Isn't that some kind of neglect? 

Quoting Anonymous: We can't take him unless she agrees according to the court

Quoting vegaswife2011:

I'm so sorry mama. Document everything! Can you guys take him to a counselor? Best of luck to you. Depression is very serious, I know. I've fought it my entire life. The worst part was when nobody did anything. Please, get him some help mama. 


quickbooksworm
by Ruby Member on Jan. 5, 2014 at 10:34 AM
1 mom liked this
You can get him to a therapist. I have 50/50 legal and medical with my ex but I don't ask him to consent (because ex so goddamn difficult), I just do and he can take me to court if he doesn't like it.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 5, 2014 at 10:44 AM

Actually you are STILL using it wrong.  WEARY means tired.  WARY means on guard.  LMAO.  

So what are you trying to say?  Are you TIRED of stories about birth mothers?  Or are you ON GUARD because you don't believe half the stories about birth mothers? 

Quoting mommy_me: Wow. I know what weary means. Which is why I use it in the sentence. As in "Im on guard against stories such as these about birth mothers". Sorry if you had to look up the definition of it because you didn't understand why I would use it. But Im glad I was able to help you learn something today

Quoting Anonymous: To be wary is (1) to be on guard against something, or (2) to be watchful or cautious. Weary meansphysically or mentally fatigued. It’s a synonym of tired.And people don't post about the rainbows and sunshine and unicorn situations.  They post about the bad, hoping for advice and sometimes validation.  Quoting mommy_me: Im always weary of this type of story. It seems the moms are always "unfit and with issues". If that is truly the case then his dad should petition the court for family therapy

Quoting Anonymous: Yes, but she needs it herself. She thinks there is nothing wrong with him and he should just get over things. She has issues to the point where she hasn't worked in 6 months and relies on her friends to give her free housing.


Quoting mommy_me: Has his father talked to his mother about his issues? Is there any open communication between the two? he really needs to be speaking to his mother about this.



Torihoney5njn
by Kristy on Jan. 5, 2014 at 10:51 AM
Maybe all the man stuff his mom is pushing on him is overcompensation for some of the info about wanting to dress like a girl he's shared with you. Maybe he mentioned to her and she freaked out. It would make sense.

I would potentially stress the self harm and depression and the need for professional intervention. His mom likely does not want to see him become a cutter, she might move forward with you and your hubby.

Sad really- if he is actually transgender he is going to need unconditional love and support. Sounds like he'll only get that in your house.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 5, 2014 at 10:58 AM
Ha. You think I posted the bad about her? That was the decent part, the kids just told us today that they have no wash cloths at the other house and didn't shower for two days. She does crazy things. She was in therapy at one point and was taking Zoloft but she quit that job and doesn't take meds anymore.

Quoting mommy_me: Wow. I know what weary means. Which is why I use it in the sentence. As in "Im on guard against stories such as these about birth mothers". Sorry if you had to look up the definition of it because you didn't understand why I would use it. But Im glad I was able to help you learn something today



Quoting Anonymous: To be wary is (1) to be on guard against something, or (2) to be watchful or cautious. Weary meansphysically or mentally fatigued. It’s a synonym of tired.And people don't post about the rainbows and sunshine and unicorn situations.  They post about the bad, hoping for advice and sometimes validation.  Quoting mommy_me: Im always weary of this type of story. It seems the moms are always "unfit and with issues". If that is truly the case then his dad should petition the court for family therapy



Quoting Anonymous: Yes, but she needs it herself. She thinks there is nothing wrong with him and he should just get over things. She has issues to the point where she hasn't worked in 6 months and relies on her friends to give her free housing.





Quoting mommy_me: Has his father talked to his mother about his issues? Is there any open communication between the two? he really needs to be speaking to his mother about this.


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