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re:my last day...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 33 Replies
My phone wont let me post on the forum:( anyways.... this was my last day.
I hooked up with my high school crush few yrs after high school. My x before him had spent a yr stalking me, running me off the road, threatening me, beating any male he seen me speak to. Well about a month after begining a new relationship with hs crush the x calls same bs huge fight i had it. I was ending the shit once n for all.
I took about 100 st johns anti depressants, and 5 different bottles of prescription pain killers(abou 50 pills maybe more) said good bye to mom sleeping on the couch, hugged my dogs good bye, n took one last look around n uhhh there was a pic of bf, n i realised in this big fight i forgot him. I regretted eating them pills but it was to late had to go with it. Jump in my car n begin the 20min drive to the x house. Passed out at a stop sign, horns woke me, barely made it. Crawl to the door puking, stagger in "here ya go im yours! Im spending my life with u but not another day!" Fell over puking again. Crawled into his bed n tried to pass out. He brought me hospital i called into work dead, they called my mom, she found the bottles on my bed n a note that jus said im sorry... a few gasps for air, asked when i would die a few times to whoever was there when i came to breifly. Woke up day 2 in slow motion, bf, friends family all came to visit (so im told) i talkt slow, n took minutes to answer a yes or no question n dragged the word. They still didnt know if id make it, n if id b normal ever again. I vaguely recal being up on day 2 jus a flash here n there of the day.
Day 3 i woke up, i made it, i was alive, n going home the next day bf stood by me every step of healing. He was my rock, he laughed n cried with me, he was the love of my life, he built me, showed me what good was, i still think i hung on because of him n feeling guilty that i forgot about the man i was falling so in love with. But i still thought i lived as punishment for being so selfish n trying to take my life. He helped me thru that to. 2yrs later i was preg he left for drinking n drugs. N our son was born. I now see life isnt my punishment, it was my blessing, i was given a second chance, and i was ment to live. My ds is 7yrs old now, his dad is still the love of my life but we are not together. Im happily with someone else and have a 2month dd with him im very happy n love my other half. But ds dad will always have a very special place in my heart for showing me how to live n how good relationships can be:) n our son is jus like him i love it.
Yes i still fight depression at times and even need anti depressants to hwlp me thru the hard times but i know when to ask for help, and have 2 awesome kids to wake up for every day n wouldnt xhange anything:) in the last 9yrs iv been on a/depressants a total of 6months, n still going strong.
The crazy x left me alone after that he appologized for everything n now only says hi if i axknowledge him passing by.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 8, 2014 at 12:47 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 8, 2014 at 12:51 AM
Been a long time since iv thought about all that... felt good to, n felt good to read it after writing it.
Mocha.Maya.Me
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 5:14 AM
1 mom liked this

  

 

justone_jen
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 5:18 AM
2 moms liked this

Mobile Photo

PoisonEyeV
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 5:19 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting Mocha.Maya.Me:

 

 

 

WOW-   No, living life isn't your punishment, but your lack of grammar and typing skill is ours!  

Looks around for anything to end the pain!

AH, there it is  . . .  It's a fucking SPELL CHECK button at the top of the reply plane.

 


justone_jen
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 5:20 AM
1 mom liked this
I love when people criticize another's grammar, because there are inevitably mistakes in their own.

Quoting Mocha.Maya.Me:

 


 


 


WOW-   No, living life isn't your punishment, but your lack of grammar and typing skill is ours!  


Looks around for anything to end the pain!


AH, there it is  . . .  It's a fucking SPELL CHECK button at the top of the reply plane.


 


pistolpink
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 5:20 AM

 Lmao I am usually on the mobile site and I never even knew that button was on the full site before you just pointed it out.  OP, stay strong.

Quoting Mocha.Maya.Me:

 

 

 

WOW-   No, living life isn't your punishment, but your lack of grammar and typing skill is ours!  

Looks around for anything to end the pain!

AH, there it is  . . .  It's a fucking SPELL CHECK button at the top of the reply plane.

 

 

chicklopez
by ItsFunnierInEnochian on Jan. 8, 2014 at 5:21 AM

Well Im glad you've gotten over that tough spot in your life. I can relate to eating a bunch of pills. I took an entire pill bottle of extra strength tylenol in the hopes my liver would fail. My idiot SO didnt tell anyone, or call 911, he just kept me on the phone all night and refused to let me go to sleep. 

The next 3 days were pure torture. I hurt everywhere and felt miserable. I still cant believe nothing drastic happened. Maybe because I puked immediatly after the last handful was swallowed? I will never forget the bluish green stain on the carpet...ugh.

Anyway.

Hope your life is better now. And you never again feel the need to get back and lash out at someone in such a way as to die to spite them. 

Mocha.Maya.Me
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 5:24 AM

And so there is. . . and yet that is an acceptable use of the terminology. (wink)

LMAO psst check yourself, because you too made one, if one is getting technical that is.

*Orders us both some coffee and a biscuit. :o)~ 

Quoting justone_jen: I love when people criticize another's grammar, because there are inevitably mistakes in their own.

Quoting Mocha.Maya.Me:

 


 


 


WOW-   No, living life isn't your punishment, but your lack of grammar and typing skill is ours!  


Looks around for anything to end the pain!


AH, there it is  . . .  It's a fucking SPELL CHECK button at the top of the reply plane.


 


 

justone_jen
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 5:37 AM
Why is my use of the word incorrect?

Lol, that's not the error I was referring to. ;) I really don't give a shit about correcting you, because I understood what you meant.


Quoting Mocha.Maya.Me:

And so there is. . . and yet that is an acceptable use of the terminology. (wink)


LMAO psst check yourself, because you too made one, if one is getting technical that is.


*Orders us both some coffee and a biscuit. :o)~ 


Quoting justone_jen: I love when people criticize another's grammar, because there are inevitably mistakes in their own.


Quoting Mocha.Maya.Me:

 



 



 



WOW-   No, living life isn't your punishment, but your lack of grammar and typing skill is ours!  



Looks around for anything to end the pain!



AH, there it is  . . .  It's a fucking SPELL CHECK button at the top of the reply plane.



 




 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 8, 2014 at 5:44 AM
I love how this post became World Grammer WarIV
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