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My child's sub teacher is an idiot! WWYD? *updated final*

Posted by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 2:48 AM
  • 365 Replies
1 mom liked this

Update 2: sorry for the delay. The original meeting didn't go as planned. The sub came and the meeting started. First thing that she said was that I hve over reacted and that my dd "took her advice well" and "understood the later complications associated with childish behaviours"...... Let's just say that meeting didn't end well. We left more upset than we were when it started. 

We had a second meeting and bought along dd's behavioural therapist and her psychotherapist. This meeting was more productive with better end results. It was determined by all (except the sub) that her attire is typically of that of a 8 year old. Same with the backpack. It was brought up and stressed that developmentally she is much much younger than 8. That she is between 2-5 in different aspects. This was already well known. Her therapy is put into place to help with her developmental ages. We brought up her qualifications as a teacher, compared to us as her parents and all the mental health specialists, are not there. That although she has completed the required courses to teach in the special needs class, what she was taught was behaviour management. How to deal with out bursts, non verbal cues and how to ignore isolate and move on. That is all she knew. When quizzed on attachment disorders and PTSD she could barely answer any of the basic questions. 

In the end it was decided that she would never been returning to teach in that classroom. And that she would be reported to the school boards and asked to refrain from placements in special needs classroom.

We have since recieved an apology note from the sub. Although it doesn't seem sincere, her efforts were noted and we replied. 

My dd is feeling a bit better about the situation, she no longer wants a new backpack. We did however allow her to pick out some new clothes. And she pretty much picked out the exact same type of clothing.

thank you everyone for the kind supportive messages and posts. They were very uplifting.

Update: I need to explain a few thing. First I am sorry for labelling the sub as an idiot, I didn't mean to "attack" her intellectual capacity as someone called it. I was just frustrated with her actions. Second I am not the type of parent who blames teachers and I do not think they are always wrong. I am the opposite, I tell my dd that she is to listen to and respect the teachers always. I trust the teachers typically have her best interest in mind and expect dd to treat teachers as she is to treat any adult in a position of power. So it is not a case of listening to my dd's false complaints. I witnessed this teacher's behaviours myself. 

I went to the school this morning. We were late because dd was very upset about her backpack and didn't want to upset anyone by bringing it. I went to the head teacher and asked of we could speak. I then explained what has happened every time the sub teacher has been in the classroom. I explained that dd is still very upset and thinks she needs a new backpack over it. Luckily dd didn't hear the other comments made by this teacher. 

Her main teacher was very upset and said the dd's behaviours were "off" each time the regular teachers returned and she had thought it was just because dd had a change in schedule that made her act up. She contacted the phychologist in charge (our part of the school doesn't have a principle rather is run by a phychologist) and arranged a meeting tomorrow. So hopefully something will be done about this. I will update tomorrow as the sub is being invited to sit down with us all. 

And to those wondering and asking, my dd suffers from Disorganized Attachment Disorder, PTSD and other things. She is 8, but mentally is more as a 2/3 year old. So things like beng told her backpack will make her friends not like her seriously puts her down. She is not able to understand the situation fully and gets every emotional about it. This is a picture of the backpacking question.

My daughter is 8 and special needs. She is in a special school designed specifically for children just like her. There is a "normal" school attached to it. 

Her teachers (there are three teachers one ea and five kids) had a meeting today. Once a month they are go to this meeting and learn way to help these kids. The kids so far have had the same substitute teacher every time. Last time this woman was there was on family day. Twice a month parents go into the classroom to do activities with their children. Last time she had pulled me aside and told me in a very rude way that my daughter was dressing much younger than her age. She was wearing jeans and a graphic T that said "B Ur Self" I asked her to explain as I seen nothing wrong with it. She said I should go see what other children her age wear and buy that. I just brushed it off. She then told my husband on the same day that her backpack was too childish (hello kitty) he just said yeah because she is a CHILD. she didn't address us for the rest of the class.

Today we went to pick our daughter up and she came running to me saying "Mommy Mommy look what I made" showing me an art craft. Then the idiot teacher comes walking my way, ugh. She asked if I gave a second as she needed to speak with me. I agree and send dd with her dad. 

Teacher starts saying how dd is to old to call me mommy, and how when she returns to regular school they will bully her. I, because of past remarks, got very upset that she should suggest my daughter not call me mommy. 

Wtf is all that came to mind. I asked if she was aware that she was sitting in on a special needs class where all the kids are mentally much younger than their actual age. She said she did but I was setting her up to fail. All because she has a character back pack, wears "younger" clothes and calls us mommy and daddy?  

My daughter than told me at dinner she has to get a new backpack and lunch pale because she doesn't want to be bullied or loose her friends!!!

I'm livid that she would ever speak to my daughter like that. I'm calling her school first thing in the morning!

has any teacher ever said anything like this to you? What would you do?

by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 2:48 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 2:51 AM
23 moms liked this
My girls are 16 and 17. They wear character shirts and call me mommy sometimes.

That woman would never teach my child again.
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 2:52 AM
How old is your child...

And I remember high school students with characters.
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by Gold Member on Jan. 8, 2014 at 2:54 AM
10 moms liked this

As a teacher myself - I think she is fucking ridiculous! Even some adults wear hello kitty stuff, and call their parents mommy and daddy etc.

by Anonymous 1 on Jan. 8, 2014 at 2:55 AM
Oh Lord she's out of line at 17 I was still calling my mom mommy
by Emerald Member on Jan. 8, 2014 at 2:56 AM
3 moms liked this

I own character shirts...and I am 35. I am wearing Christmas story pajamas as we speak. My kids are 18, 15, 11, and 10 and all call me mommy at times. My kids own character stuff. Specifically my older two love batman and superman. My husband has a superman tattoo and a bunch of clothes with the superman symbol. My youngest has learning disabilities, but otherwise all four are typical kiddos.

why does she want an eight year old to grow up so fast? What is her end goal with this?  All of those seem like typical behaviors for an eight year old. Honestly this whole post with the teacher's comments is giving me a creeper vibe.

by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 2:56 AM
2 moms liked this
I would let the regular teacher know and complain to the principal what she said.
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 2:57 AM
Fuck that! She was way out of line.
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 2:57 AM

I would be raising hell. I see nothing wrong with a kid wearing a character backpack or any of the other things you mentioned.

by Silver Member on Jan. 8, 2014 at 2:58 AM

So wrong. I guess I need new clothes I have hello kitty pjs on right now ops!

by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Jan. 8, 2014 at 2:58 AM
21 moms liked this

I would go straight to the Principal and file a formal complaint about her stupidity. She is being ridiculous and none of that has anything to do with teaching....smdh

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