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how to explain sexual abuse to a 4 year old

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
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I have a 4 year old son who is currently going to a pre-school. I would like to make sure he knows no one is allowed to touch his private parts, if something odd happens he has to tell me etc..whats the best way to make it simple enough for a 4 year old boy ?

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 8, 2014 at 6:19 AM
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 8, 2014 at 6:24 AM

BUMP!

Mocha.Maya.Me
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 6:30 AM
1 mom liked this

 Um, wow. . . it's different for every child.

BUT start by explaining what is a good touch, as opposed to bad touch and what makes them that way.  Let him know he's to always very loudly tell them NO! STOP! .DO NOT TOUCH ME THAT WAY AGAIN! And he has permission to kick, hit, scream his head off , gouge eyes, and run away if he needs too, no matter who it is, If anyone touches him in any way he doesn't like, and that he is to tell the first adult he sees what happened and also tell you.

There are some excellent books that professionals use but it's really subjective to each child and family to what they feel is appropriate.

mariesmama
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 6:32 AM
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i'm not sure i tell her that nobody is allowed to touch her unless its bathtime this is what i told my 4 yr old girl

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 8, 2014 at 6:33 AM

thanks everybody, yes these sound good to me 

Mak33012
by Bronze Member on Jan. 8, 2014 at 6:35 AM
My parents told me no one was allowed to touch anywhere that underwear would cover. Of course they elaborated when age appropriate, but that's the first talk about it I remember.
KyahZia
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 6:38 AM
My husband and I told our daughter in simple terms that it is not ok for anyone to touch her vagina. If she needs help in a toilet situation she can ask the person to wait outside. She is the only one allowed to touch her (eg toileting, intimates changing). If she feels someone has touched or hurt her, she must tell us. Anyway I think you get the idea. It's not easy but unfortunately these days it's necessary.
Mocha.Maya.Me
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 6:38 AM

 Sadly a lot of sexual abuse of young children starts with so called INNOCENT bathing touches.   Please make sure she knows only certain people are allowed to bath her, and also what is inappropriate touching during bathing.  And if she ever feels uncomfortable, no matter what. .  she has a right to tell them to get out and not touch her again. And to tell you immediately.

 

Quoting mariesmama:

i'm not sure i tell her that nobody is allowed to touch her unless its bathtime this is what i told my 4 yr old girl

 

Be a premium gourmet coffee-drinking individual-espresso yourself!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 8, 2014 at 6:39 AM

I read something really cool a few years ago. A mom sat her 4yo down and said that nobody was allowed to touch anything that underwear covered unless they were mommy, daddy or a doctor - and that if anyone DID have to put cream on her/check something out/wipe her - they would TELL mom/dad as soon as possible. They repeated it numerous times, practiced on her - and it became second nature. I can't remember how it EXACTLY went down, but dad put some cream on her while mom was out and forgot to tell mom and the little girl ran out and said "Mom! dad put cream on my privates and didn't tell you" - because it was that intergrated into her. Personally - with my kids, I've always said that only mom or dad is allowed to touch private areas and they will always tell you WHY they are touching it - nobody else is allowed to touch or see your private parts without mommy or daddy in the room.

mariesmama
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 6:39 AM


Quoting Mocha.Maya.Me:

 Sadly a lot of sexual abuse of young children starts with so called INNOCENT bathing touches.   Please make sure she knows only certain people are allowed to bath her, and also what is inappropriate touching during bathing.  And if she ever feels uncomfortable, no matter what. .  she has a right to tell them to get out and not touch her again. And to tell you immediately.

 

Quoting mariesmama:

i'm not sure i tell her that nobody is allowed to touch her unless its bathtime this is what i told my 4 yr old girl

 

she's just about a yr behind in speech 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 8, 2014 at 6:43 AM

I would say that your body is private and no one should touch him in his private parts.I would tell him to talk to you about anything that bothers him.

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