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Can trust ever be regained ?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 8 Replies
Stating the obvious. He flirted & cheated a while back and still to today ( 3 years later) I still don't trust him
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 8, 2014 at 8:20 AM
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Replies (1-8):
lucky2Beeme
by Emerald Member on Jan. 8, 2014 at 8:21 AM

Yes If you want to have the relationship you need to learn to trust him. I think counseling  would help.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 8, 2014 at 8:22 AM

I hope so because I was the stupid one that kissed someone when I was feeling very unloved because of something dh did. It wasn't planned, but was still a bad choice on my part. I hope dh will one day trust me again. 

I hope one day you can trust your dh again. Trust is important. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 8, 2014 at 8:24 AM
Even if he flirted and cheated with separate women ?
SSweetcupcake
by Silver Member on Jan. 8, 2014 at 8:24 AM
Sure can
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 8, 2014 at 8:34 AM
2 moms liked this
In my experience no. Once trust has been broken that severely, there's no going back. No matter how much progress you make, there is always that twinge of doubt in the back of your mind.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 8, 2014 at 8:37 AM
It depends on what broke the trust. For something like cheating I personally could never trust again and I'd end the relationship immediately. My fiance has known since the beginning that I don't tolerate liars or cheaters. But for small things I have been able to trust again, it just took some time.
Braydens_Mama06
by Member on Jan. 8, 2014 at 8:38 AM

Yes it can with effort on both parts.  Trust is earned, but it is also given.  If you still are having trust issues, and you might always, you need to ask yourself are they warranted or are they from your own insecurities?  What I mean by that is, is your husband doing all he can to earn your trust back?  Is he being sensitive to your feelings and meeting any and all demands you have for earning your trust?  Is he truly sorry for what he has done?  If he is and you still don't trust him, then it's your insecurities making you unable to trust and that is something that you are going to have to work through.  

My husband cheated on me a very long time ago.  He confessed and told me and my family and endured the hell I put him through.  Even now, over 10 year later, the fear of him cheating again is still in the back of my mind.  If he leaves after we've been fighting, for example, it's hard to not let my mind "go there".  However, he knows this and is sensitive to my feelings.  He always answers his phone, angry or not.  He always tells me where he is and gives me updates about who he is with and what they are doing.  Not because I make him or require it but because he wants me to feel secure and he respects me.  Because he does these things and has never given me reason to suspect anything, I know that it's my own insecurities causing me to not trust him fully and it's something that I continue to work on.  Him going out doesn't bother me nearly as much as it use to and I don't worry about him cheating really anymore.  In fact, he is currently in Korea on a year long tour and I don't think about it much at all.  He makes sure I know he is being faithful.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jan. 8, 2014 at 8:40 AM
I think for some couples yes. If the spouse that broke the trusts has gone above and beyond to show they are sorry and regret what they did. If they help ease they mind of the other spouse when there is doubt and questions yes things can be worked through.
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