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Defects I Didn't Know I Had -- Until I Had Children. What did your kids teach you about yourself?

Posted by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 9:07 AM
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2 moms liked this

Defects I Didn't Know I Had -- Until I Had Children

by Jenny Isenman 

It appears I have many many flaws. Flaws that my well-meaning children (a boy and a girl) have brought to my attention over the last 11 years. 

For instance, I remember my daughter asking if a dark freckle on my back was a mole. I said, "It's not a mole, it's a beauty mark," to which she innocently replied, "Why would they call it a beauty mark, when it's so ugly?" I guess I never realized the beauty mark I once thought was kinda sexy was such an eyesore. Thank you, my child, for enlightening me. 

Yes, one of the joys of parenthood is having your children point out your imperfections with brutal honesty. Some days your kids can unwittingly rival the meanest playground bully.   

So children, I say thank you for being seen in public with me and for putting up with my numerous shortcomings, which you made me aware of when you uttered phrases like these:

"Mommy, the veins on your legs look like the GPS in our car."

"Mommy, your eyes are so squinty."

"Mom, your breath stinks."

"Mommy, your pinkie toenails are weird."

"Mom, you just don't understand glitter."

"Mom, you aren't funny ... Dad is funnier."

"Mom, you should never try out for American Idol, you wouldn't even make it to Hollywood."

"Mom, you have a booger."

"Mommy, will I have as many lines on my face as you do when I'm old?"

"Ma, YOU ARE soooo embarrassing."

"Mom, you need two hands to shoot a basketball? You'll never go pro."         

"Mom you're naked??? GROSSSSSS ... My eyes! My eyes!"

"Mommy, your homemade mac & cheese isn't as good as the powdered one."

"Mommy, you're not as cool as Lily's mom, because you can't do a fishtail braid."

"Mom, you just don't know what it's like to be a boy."

"Mom, you just don't know what it's like to be a girl."

"Mommy, you have no style ... you don't even like Justice."

"Mommy, you look like a grandma in glasses."

And lastly, "Mommy, your butt is really jiggly." (Which I already knew, by the way! So, the joke's on you.)

Well, I guess I won't be trying out for The Voice or the Lakers, and apparently, I'm a pretty grotesque elephant-man-esque creature with no sense style. Oh, and I'm not funny, to boot -- which may not bode well for my career as a humor columnist. Thankfully, I've got some self-esteem left in me -- or I'd probably have to consider becoming a hermit.

What wonderful things have you learned about yourself from your sweet little imps?

by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 9:07 AM
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Replies (1-10):
betsy9023
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 9:16 AM
I don't have patience.
EmeraldBirdie
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 9:45 AM
1 mom liked this

 This is so true! I love it!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jan. 8, 2014 at 9:57 AM
1 mom liked this

Dad, make mom stop dancing in the house. she is embarrassing me. 

mom2many747
by Momma Duck on Jan. 8, 2014 at 10:11 AM
1 mom liked this

Apparently my head/face is shaped like a peanut lol

teaandcookies
by Silver Member on Jan. 8, 2014 at 10:15 AM
1 mom liked this

In public bathroom Mommy make sure you wash your hands after pooping, good girl mommy", Look mommy diapers, you need the big ones, in reference to sanitary napkins

MMIC
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 10:15 AM
Mom, why don't you have a REAL job? I'm a sahm.

Mom, I like your hair down, when you wear it up you're mean.

Mom, when you laugh your belly jiggles.

Mom, your feet are gross.

Chibee
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 10:19 AM
4 moms liked this

dd (3) likes to comb my hair for me after I take a shower.   A while ago she did that and when she was done I said "Thank you!  Am I beautiful now??"   She said "Nope.  Lets try some make up and earrings."   Thats what i get for asking

la_bella_vita
by Mrs. Tennant on Jan. 8, 2014 at 10:41 AM

 According to my 7 year old I say chamomile weird.

My son told me I'm so beautiful I should be in a movie, lol

After I had my last baby my oldest told me my stomach looked like a small baby was in there, lol

Jamie1972
by Ruby Member on Jan. 8, 2014 at 11:23 AM

I have little patience for homework. I'm not as organized as I thought I was. And because 2 out of 3 of . My kids have some kind of medical/mental problem( or issue) I learned I can handle most anything.

That and I should not take offense when my 14 yr old says mom your butt is big.

LadyIQ
by Silver Member on Jan. 8, 2014 at 11:47 AM

That I really really hate Math and I really dont appreciate having to help with homework when it includes Math.  

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