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Needing space

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 10 Replies

My SO and I have known eachother for a while but just started a "real" relationship about five months ago.  He started staying over a lot and just recently I've been feeling really claustrophobic.  I like him around, but not every single day.  I told him last night that I need space.  He didn't like that.  He said that relationships should continue forward, not backward.  I understand that, but I also need to do what I think is right for me.

Today he's gathering his things and going back to his place.  We're going to go back to the "weekends only" thing.  He lives too far to really see each other throughout the work week.  Now I'm afraid I made  a mistake.  He's great to me, but I don't feel like I'm in a place where I'm ready to have a full blown live in guy again.  I got out of a marriage a while ago and I don't think I'm healed from that.  I'm just confused and need opinions. 

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 8, 2014 at 11:19 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Katkinson
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 11:21 AM
2 moms liked this

do what you think is right.  Yes, yo might lose him.  But this feels right for you ( I am guessing).  If he's as great as you think he is, then he will most likely understand.  Just tell him how you feel and why. 

mommyof20813
by Bronze Member on Jan. 8, 2014 at 11:22 AM

Do whats right for you! its best you tell him now instead of him fully living there !!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 8, 2014 at 11:22 AM
What an idiot.
So you're basicly leading him on believing your relationship is going somewhere yet you did not heal from your divorce yet.
Should have been clear and make him your buddy with benefits.
GrandNagus
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 11:22 AM
1 mom liked this

If you're not ready,you're not ready. He can either accept that or not. If he can't accept that you aren't ready for that yet, then he probably isn't the right man for you at this time. Having him stay all the time or move in when you aren't ready would probably have this relationship ending badly.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 8, 2014 at 11:23 AM

 This was my exact train of thought when I told him.  I need to sort this out in my head before it goes too far.

Quoting mommyof20813:

Do whats right for you! its best you tell him now instead of him fully living there !!

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 8, 2014 at 11:27 AM

 :)

Quoting Anonymous: What an idiot.
So you're basicly leading him on believing your relationship is going somewhere yet you did not heal from your divorce yet.
Should have been clear and make him your buddy with benefits.

 

Vicariously
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 11:37 AM

If you are not ready it’s not a mistake. Go with how you feel - not how he takes it. It’s sounds like you aren’t really that into him though. Which is fine. Just make sure you don’t keep him strung along until you find something better… That wouldn’t be right.

mamabear55
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 11:39 AM

The longer you're together, the more alone time you'll need/want. If he can't handle that, you need to re-assess your relationship.

bluebunnybabe
by kid crack dealer on Jan. 8, 2014 at 11:41 AM
1 mom liked this
Don't let anyone push you or bully you in to something you aren't ready for. Do what's best for you.
mommyof20813
by Bronze Member on Jan. 8, 2014 at 11:45 AM

If he truly wants to be with you he will understand and give you the space you need!! good luck!!

Quoting Anonymous:

 This was my exact train of thought when I told him.  I need to sort this out in my head before it goes too far.

Quoting mommyof20813:

Do whats right for you! its best you tell him now instead of him fully living there !!



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