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Inlaw stress!!!!!!

Posted by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 3:40 PM
  • 12 Replies

My inlaws are planning on visiting this month (not sure just when though) and I'm suoer stressed out. 

First: I've never met FIL and only met step-mom and sibs once (6 yrs ago).  Not to mention we live in a total shit-hole.  I try to clean and pick up and stuff but this house is old and unfixable.  The kitchen cabinets are about 4 different colors (the last person started scraping the paint but never finished or re-painted, the floor is full of holes (covered by strips of wood and rugs), in parts the wall has been pulled off (showing brown cardboard-looking places), the linoleum is patch-work and looks like shit. 

 

I'm so stressed out.....We have no money with which to fix anything before they come and have been putting them off for a year trying to get there so they don't come here.

 

FYI: This is a family-owned house and we don't have to pay rent so I can't really complain to the owners.  there is no point trying to fix what's broken b/c the house is literally falling apart and would need a new foundation just to start.

 

This is just a vent....if anyone has suggestions on small cheap things that can make it better, thanks!

by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 3:40 PM
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Replies (1-10):
danijean
by Platinum Member on Jan. 8, 2014 at 3:53 PM
If you don't pay rent why can't you afford small little repairs?
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TommyAbby
by Silver Member on Jan. 8, 2014 at 3:57 PM

My thoughts exactly.. a gallon of paint to cover the cabinets isn't that much. 

And why can't you find a nicer place to live with yours kids? Holes in the floor cannot be safe in any way. 

I would tell them they can come visit but MUST stay in a hotel. And you can meet up with them. 


Quoting danijean: If you don't pay rent why can't you afford small little repairs?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jan. 8, 2014 at 3:59 PM

so the house is good enough for your kids, but not your in laws?

mom22boys333
by Ruby Member on Jan. 8, 2014 at 4:19 PM

The reason we live here is to try to get on our feet.  We don't have a lot of money and I'd rather put money in our "move" fund than try to spruce up a house that will be demolished anyway.  I don't care about astetics and make sure everything is safe but I hate having visitors, and no, this month there's no money for getting a gallon of paint.  In the winter, our power bill alone is bt $400-600 a month so there's less money to spread around.

They'll go back that evening or stay in a hotel.  I just can't figure out (especially since it's winter) where to meet them and I feel bad even thinking this since they are coming to meet their grandkids for the first time (ds's are 5 and 2).  Dh told them this is a crappy place and we're trying like hell to get out of here and they said not to worry they just want to see us and meet the kids.

Quoting TommyAbby:

My thoughts exactly.. a gallon of paint to cover the cabinets isn't that much. 

And why can't you find a nicer place to live with yours kids? Holes in the floor cannot be safe in any way. 

I would tell them they can come visit but MUST stay in a hotel. And you can meet up with them. 

 

Quoting danijean: If you don't pay rent why can't you afford small little repairs?

 

housecoatloonie
by Silver Member on Jan. 8, 2014 at 4:21 PM

You don't even have to pay rent and you can't spend $50 to sand and repaint cabinets?

Giiiiiirl.........

I don't care how brokeass my house might be....it's getting fixed up if I have to save pennies.


mom22boys333
by Ruby Member on Jan. 8, 2014 at 4:22 PM

My kids are 5 and 2, they don't care about paint or about how many rugs are on the kitchen floor.  they are safe, and well-fed and loved and past that, they don't care.  Inlaws (in their 60's), who are very wealthy will judge and care and since this is the first time meeting them, I'm stressed.

Quoting Anonymous:

so the house is good enough for your kids, but not your in laws?

 

housecoatloonie
by Silver Member on Jan. 8, 2014 at 4:24 PM

Then that should be that.

The home you are living in right now isn't a reflection of your character or lack of will, it is just a stopping-over place until you get to the place you can truly call home.

If the in-laws KNOW this home isn't your choice or how you want to live or WILL be living soon....don't worry yourself.

Feel free to apologize for the 'state of your home' when they visit, but don't keep bringing it up; just laughingly tell them how much prettier their NEXT visit will be and maybe THEY have ideas to help cheer up the place until then.


Quoting mom22boys333:

The reason we live here is to try to get on our feet.  We don't have a lot of money and I'd rather put money in our "move" fund than try to spruce up a house that will be demolished anyway.  I don't care about astetics and make sure everything is safe but I hate having visitors, and no, this month there's no money for getting a gallon of paint.  In the winter, our power bill alone is bt $400-600 a month so there's less money to spread around.

They'll go back that evening or stay in a hotel.  I just can't figure out (especially since it's winter) where to meet them and I feel bad even thinking this since they are coming to meet their grandkids for the first time (ds's are 5 and 2).  Dh told them this is a crappy place and we're trying like hell to get out of here and they said not to worry they just want to see us and meet the kids.

Quoting TommyAbby:

My thoughts exactly.. a gallon of paint to cover the cabinets isn't that much. 

And why can't you find a nicer place to live with yours kids? Holes in the floor cannot be safe in any way. 

I would tell them they can come visit but MUST stay in a hotel. And you can meet up with them. 


Quoting danijean: If you don't pay rent why can't you afford small little repairs?



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jan. 8, 2014 at 4:24 PM

 hhmm.... holes in the floors and holes in the walls doesn't sound too safe to me....     in any case, you sound screwed cuz all that can't be fixed in a day

Quoting mom22boys333:

My kids are 5 and 2, they don't care about paint or about how many rugs are on the kitchen floor.  they are safe, and well-fed and loved and past that, they don't care.  Inlaws (in their 60's), who are very wealthy will judge and care and since this is the first time meeting them, I'm stressed.

Quoting Anonymous:

so the house is good enough for your kids, but not your in laws?

 

 

mom22boys333
by Ruby Member on Jan. 8, 2014 at 4:24 PM

There's no "fixing it up", I'm saving as much as possible to move the hell out instead of painting or sanding something that will be demolished (or fall in by itself) in a couple of years.  I am saving everything I can to get my kids out of this place.

Quoting housecoatloonie:

You don't even have to pay rent and you can't spend $50 to sand and repaint cabinets?

Giiiiiirl.........

I don't care how brokeass my house might be....it's getting fixed up if I have to save pennies.


 

TommyAbby
by Silver Member on Jan. 8, 2014 at 4:31 PM

How quickly do you think you can move?? A heating bill like those every month will eat up whatever you are trying to save :(  Those old houses don't hold the heat like they used to. 


Quoting mom22boys333:

The reason we live here is to try to get on our feet.  We don't have a lot of money and I'd rather put money in our "move" fund than try to spruce up a house that will be demolished anyway.  I don't care about astetics and make sure everything is safe but I hate having visitors, and no, this month there's no money for getting a gallon of paint.  In the winter, our power bill alone is bt $400-600 a month so there's less money to spread around.

They'll go back that evening or stay in a hotel.  I just can't figure out (especially since it's winter) where to meet them and I feel bad even thinking this since they are coming to meet their grandkids for the first time (ds's are 5 and 2).  Dh told them this is a crappy place and we're trying like hell to get out of here and they said not to worry they just want to see us and meet the kids.

Quoting TommyAbby:

My thoughts exactly.. a gallon of paint to cover the cabinets isn't that much. 

And why can't you find a nicer place to live with yours kids? Holes in the floor cannot be safe in any way. 

I would tell them they can come visit but MUST stay in a hotel. And you can meet up with them. 


Quoting danijean: If you don't pay rent why can't you afford small little repairs?



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